Ì'm really scared

[Kaliana]

Well I'm really young as well. I'm 20 and started drinking when I was 14, in the meanwhile it turned into habit. I live alone since I was 18, and though I can not feel that alcohol is interfearing my social life/job/school, I'm still a bit scared that I'm getting addicted.
My friends tease me for drinking when I'm alone. But then I just can sleep tight without it, without thinking about my long distance relationship, fiancee that has cancer, money issues... I don't actually think that I'm looking for a way out, I just want to sleep through the night. I've noticed that I don't like drinking itself that much, but I love the adrenaline when I think of a bottle of wine. I also don't drink anything else but wine and beer. I try to avoid drinking every day, but then it comes the second day and I just drink about a whole bottle of wine and I know that it's not right and I'm very scared. The results I got on every online alcohol test I could find show that i'm in danger.
Consolation, advice, anyone?

[Reenie]

Ì'm really scared

Hi Kaliana: Alcoholism is a progressive disease. As it stands now, it seems that you are drinking out of habit. It's almost a routine you have set in place for yourself. Perhaps you are bored or lonely when at home by yourself. Have you tried not drinking until the weekend while occupying your week with fun things to do outside of work? If you keep the pattern of drinking everyday, your habit could or might already have formed itsself into an addiction. Try breaking the cycle for a week. Take note as to whether or not you are actually craving alcohol or drinking it out of boredom and loneliness. Have people questioned your behaviour when you are drinking? Do you wake up hungover and occassionaly miss work? Do any of your close relatives such as a parent or sibling have a drinking problem? If so, you really could be predispositioned to have alocholism. Trust your instincts and do what you feel you need to do to get a handle on your life. -Reenie

[Kaliana]

Ì'm really scared

Hi Reenie and thanks for responding. You're right, both my parents and siblings are drinkers but I've never considered them to be heavy drinkers. I don't miss work or school because of drinking, and my hangovers are not so scary at this time, but I'm still afraid that it'll turn into a nasty habit and I'll hurt the ones I love. I'm honestly not afraid of physical health problems. What do you think of my bear/wine sessions and the fact that I don't drink any other alcoholic beverages? I haven't researched this topic until tonight.

[Reenie]

Ì'm really scared

Kaliana: I've been alcohol free for 4 months now. When I did drink, I opted for red wine or vodka. I hardly ever drank beer, gin, rum, etc.... Red wine and vodka were always top on my list and I could forgoe the rest. Your beverages of choice happen to be wine & beer. Despite their different tastes, these beverages are still alcohol. The longer you come to this site and read the posts, the more you will find your experiences to relate to others on this site. In time you will be able to determine yourself wether or not your habit is becoming an addiction.

[KateH1]

Ì'm really scared

Hi Kaliana, How very brave and smart for you to be so aware and reaching out at such a tender age. Good for you! Getting this thing under control now, can save you a lot of grief in the future.

Here are couple of things to think about. It is not what we drink, beer, wine, vodka, whiskey.......all are equally damaging, when consumed to excess and in an addictive way. I think the very fact that you are concerned about your drinking habits gives you the answer to your own question as to whether you have a problem or not.

Lastly, your youth alone, helps you to recover from the effects of your drinking very quickly, but this will take its tole on you over time. I say get drinking under control now, before it does cause problems in your life, and if you continue your drinking patterns, it is pretty much assured the life problems will follow.

Stick around here, you will learn a lot!

[chrysa]

Ì'm really scared

Kaliana,
You definitely have a problem honey. A bottle of wine every day is a lot for someone your age! and is definitely a problem that needs to be addressed. But the good news is that you are young & healthy & can solve the problem, nip it in the bud.

I am not sure how you will do it but there are plenty of ways and there is alot of info on this site. I know you can figure out what the best way for you will be.

Maybe take up something that interests you & may be physical -- yoga, some sport, etc. Sounds like you may need some extra fun currilular activities in your life. Read about neat healthy things to do.

You have some stressors in your life -- $$, boyfriend far away & sick...you have pain & thus the wine...but you may have some real clinical depression...so maybe talk to a doctor about that & consider some light anti-depressants.

I am happy that you are so aware & recognize your tendency to this disease...and you are right -- it is real hon...not just a little habit that anyone picks up...Can you talk to your Mom? Or Dad or anyone in your family?

Anyway I just know you will figure this out....at your age it is very easy to overcome this (I have some family experience with this)....as we get older it become harder each year...

The fact that you wrote & came on here tells me that you know you need to address this...so just start!..you can do it...think positive.. .. just go about talking to whomever you need to to get this underway...you will be so happy...you will feel great about youself...I know you can do this..

Feel free to PM me or others & post her eas much as you like.

You are going to be great!!!

[Cinders]

Ì'm really scared

Kaliana,

:welcome:

You are doing the right thing, as everyone else has said.

I just wanted to add my welcome and let you know we are glad you are here and trying to nip this thing before it gets out of control.

Cindi

[Guest]

Ì'm really scared

Hi Kaliana and welcome.
Can`t add to what the others have already said so well, except to say well done for acknowledging you have a problem at an early age. You never want to get like any of us and realize you have wasted 20, 30 yrs. or more on a drunkard`s lifestyle.

Wishing you loadsa love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[cowgal]

Ì'm really scared

:welcome: Kaliana, just as others have shared, you are DEFINITELY in the right place!! Just keep trying and you are so yourn, dont' wait like some of us who have drank away 30 or more years of our precious lives!!

Keep posting , be the book, supps and good luck!!!!:l :l

MA

[satori]

Ì'm really scared

Hi from me too and welcome :welcome: - yep - I will agree with everyone above - I too WASTED 20 years of my life through alcohol.


PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't make the same mistake!

Life is AMAZING - get out there and live it to the full - without the booze.

We will do whatever it takes to help you!

Love :l

satori
xxx

[Kaliana]

Ì'm really scared

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I actually feel like shit right now knowing that you're all right and I do have a 'virtual' support system to lean on, and I still have just opened a bottle of wine. Anyway, I thought about this long and hard, and decided to cut off rapidly (if not fully quit) starting this Sunday. I would really like you to share some experiences with me, like, how much drinking is a healthy drinking, did you gain weight after quitting (I'm an oral type of person so I have the need to drink, smoke, eat or chew gums all the time, so I guess I'll be craving food very much once I stop), what kind of medicines you used in order to reduce alcohol crave, etc.
I also don't know how to handle the nights. I never drink on daylight, but I somehow associate every night with drinking. I have no idea how am I going to spend the hours between 8:00 pm - 02:00 am. Any suggestions?
Anyway, I appreciate every response I got, and have never felt so protected and supported. I wish I came here even earlier.

[KAT20]

Ì'm really scared

Kaliana, Hello and welcome, I did'nt want to admit had a problem for a long time, Yes like you I started drinking young and it became self medication every time I was stressed our depressed. My therapist, and I have read, normal alcohol consumption for a woman is 5oz wine one beer, or one shot hard alcohol a day, not to exceed 7 in a week or more that 3 a one sitting. You can order MWO on line or down load it, it took me awhile to find what works for me but you can do it. Keep yourself busy here and looking for as much info on alcohol dependance as you can. There are so many of us out there just like you and so much support.

[Reenie]

Ì'm really scared

Hi Kaliana: So true, there's a lot of support here. Continue to check in, read the posts, and asks lots of questions. You are fortunate to recognize your drinking issue at a young age. Take charge! - Reenie

[Accountable for Me]

Ì'm really scared

:welcome: Kaliana (pretty name by the way)

You should be so very proud of yourself for reaching out for help. You have a lot of smarts in that head of yours. So many of our youth/young adults are reaching for the bottle nowadays.... which could lead to some pretty horrific alcohol problems in the future. Many members here started very young and can relate to what you are going through.

Drinking at night, even if it is every second night means, it is becoming an issue and/or there is a problem. You have so much life to live yet. Filling voids are tough once the habit is there, but habits can be broken. Why not try to eliminate the alcohol and see how physically dependent you are first. If you feel you cannot stop, then try to see your doctor and explain to him what is going on. The sooner you can get this under control the better off you will be.

Keep coming here for the support you need. :l

[Finding My Self]

Ì'm really scared

Kaliana - lovely name!

Welcome and good on you! You do have a wise head on young shoulders..probably why you're taking on board way too much wine because you feel and see things so strongly...but why you're now here and going to save yourself an awful lot of heartache in the future.

The thing that comes to me reading your posts is not just that you obviously miss your fiancee but that you seem to spend a lot of time on your own for a 'young one'...? Is 8pm to 2am in bars or on your own at home? Bars have AF drinks, please use them and if you're home, just DO something in the evening? A class, choir, gym, book club...ANYTHING to keep busy and meet people. (Use your wise and intelligent mind to good use.) It truly is a life-saver even if you really have to push yourself to do it. And do it with people who don't drink..most don't as in active busy people aren't OTT in the booze stakes. Too much time to think (not a criticism) is a killer - and, speaking for me here, the wine just became a lazy way of getting through the evenings. Pure laziness - but when I got out there instead it was good fun. Of course, I may be speaking out of turn here not knowing anything about you so if so, I am sorry...but I hope you get what I mean. (Wine aint worth a friendship with....it's a smarmy, thieving 'friend' belieive me!)

I hope you'll post lots and we can get to know you a bit better; you sound a lovely person. Certainly post as much as you like (lots!) between 8-2!! Sleep might take a few days to settle but if you cut right down or go AF you'll really sleep better. We've been there so I hope you can believe us!

Love and a welcome hug.
FMF xx