My story
I?ve been lurking around this website for some time, but hadn?t had the guts to admit my problem, and to finally chime in. It was a story from Voices and several other recent chronicles that finally inspired me to open up and tell my story. So, this is my first post.
My Background: I am well educated individual with a Bachelor?s degree and Master?s degree. My husband and I both have enjoyed solid professional careers (we met and worked at the same company), while raising our children, who are now 10 and 12. I took a leave from my company four years ago when we took a foreign assignment through my husband?s new company. After returning to the states, my husband accepted a position with another company, and I resigned my position the end of last year because we moved to another location. I was very active abroad, too, so I didn?t miss my career so much, and it was really nice to be totally engaged with my children ? for the first time -- completely. Since being back, I haven?t really been involved in anything career-wise, but have kept busy taking classes, while trying to figure out my next path. So, that?s a little information about me.
My Problem: I didn?t develop what I consider to be a drinking problem until around my mid-30?s -- that being several years ago. But, I now believe it was just a matter of me chipping away at the wine bottle a little at a time, until it finally became a problem about 10 years later. I realized that I had an alcohol problem when I finally made the decision to cut back, but couldn?t.
To this date, I have never ever attended any function intoxicated, but, of course, I could leave one very well satiated -- if you know what I mean ? but not embarrassingly or even obviously drunk. I?ve never missed an event, including any of my children?s school events, because I was too drunk to go, nor would I even consider having a drink beforehand. I?ve never missed picking up my children from school or driving them to and from extracurricular activities because I was too intoxicated, and it would be unthinkable for me to have a drink before. I never missed a day of work because I was intoxicated or too hung over to function. And, my alcohol cravings do not start until the evening happy hour.
Speaking of happy hour, my happy hour (or two or three!) typically begins around 6:00 p.m., maybe a little earlier -- depending on what?s happening, and it is a coveted time for me, my wine, and making dinner ? which I enjoy. My husband usually isn?t home yet -- that is, if he?s not traveling. Happy hour is that time of day when you are allowed to reward yourself for being a good mom, a good person, a good worker, etc., right?
And that?s where it starts, but doesn?t end until it?s time for me to go to bed, just short of passing out. I am not falling down drunk, but I am to the point where I may forget the last hour of anything that occurred, but will remember most things when my memory is jogged the next day. I?ve always had a sleeping problem, and alcohol has managed to buy me some sleeping time. Of course, we all know that waking up after sleeping off the alcohol is not really a restful sleep. I rarely wake up with a hangover, and am rarely sick. But, I almost always wake up feeling guilty and angry for letting myself down.
My husband drinks almost everyday, but can stop after his normal two, and almost always does. I know he recognizes that I have alcohol issues, but rarely mentions it, because if he did, then we would have to address them, and he?d feel that he would have to give up his happy hours in order to support me, which he would do in a heartbeat. And, that would make me feel even worse because it?s my problem ? not his. That?s why I?d like to try and manage this issue on my own, with me taking the lead.
Finally, alcohol abuse does run in my family ? I have an alcoholic father (who refuses to acknowledge that), and many, many relatives with a long history of alcohol addiction.
Next Steps: I wanted to finally come out, write my story, and maybe solicit some support from all of you. I know there are many of you who have alcohol issues that are far less serious than mine, and there are those of you who have a bigger battle. But, one thing for sure, whether it?s a big problem or a small problem, it?s a problem, and that is why we are here.
My goal is to AF during the week, and only enjoy drinks on the weekend ? Friday and Saturday. My longest AF so far has been ten days, but I typically can only squeeze out one day a week, if I try real hard. I know there are threads and threads of recommendations as to how to accomplish AF during the week, but I?d like to start a new thread for me, and would love to hear what you can recommend to help me achieve my goals. And, perhaps I?ll realize that my goals aren?t achievable, and that I will have to be AF, but I?d like to give it a try this way first. I have read the book, have taken the supps, but do not want to take any meds.
Is there anyone out there who is trying to achieve the same goals and is finding success, and has some tips that will help? Or are you new, wanting to attain the same goals, and are looking for a buddy to work it through together?
I?ve been lurking around this website for some time, but hadn?t had the guts to admit my problem, and to finally chime in. It was a story from Voices and several other recent chronicles that finally inspired me to open up and tell my story. So, this is my first post.
My Background: I am well educated individual with a Bachelor?s degree and Master?s degree. My husband and I both have enjoyed solid professional careers (we met and worked at the same company), while raising our children, who are now 10 and 12. I took a leave from my company four years ago when we took a foreign assignment through my husband?s new company. After returning to the states, my husband accepted a position with another company, and I resigned my position the end of last year because we moved to another location. I was very active abroad, too, so I didn?t miss my career so much, and it was really nice to be totally engaged with my children ? for the first time -- completely. Since being back, I haven?t really been involved in anything career-wise, but have kept busy taking classes, while trying to figure out my next path. So, that?s a little information about me.
My Problem: I didn?t develop what I consider to be a drinking problem until around my mid-30?s -- that being several years ago. But, I now believe it was just a matter of me chipping away at the wine bottle a little at a time, until it finally became a problem about 10 years later. I realized that I had an alcohol problem when I finally made the decision to cut back, but couldn?t.
To this date, I have never ever attended any function intoxicated, but, of course, I could leave one very well satiated -- if you know what I mean ? but not embarrassingly or even obviously drunk. I?ve never missed an event, including any of my children?s school events, because I was too drunk to go, nor would I even consider having a drink beforehand. I?ve never missed picking up my children from school or driving them to and from extracurricular activities because I was too intoxicated, and it would be unthinkable for me to have a drink before. I never missed a day of work because I was intoxicated or too hung over to function. And, my alcohol cravings do not start until the evening happy hour.
Speaking of happy hour, my happy hour (or two or three!) typically begins around 6:00 p.m., maybe a little earlier -- depending on what?s happening, and it is a coveted time for me, my wine, and making dinner ? which I enjoy. My husband usually isn?t home yet -- that is, if he?s not traveling. Happy hour is that time of day when you are allowed to reward yourself for being a good mom, a good person, a good worker, etc., right?
And that?s where it starts, but doesn?t end until it?s time for me to go to bed, just short of passing out. I am not falling down drunk, but I am to the point where I may forget the last hour of anything that occurred, but will remember most things when my memory is jogged the next day. I?ve always had a sleeping problem, and alcohol has managed to buy me some sleeping time. Of course, we all know that waking up after sleeping off the alcohol is not really a restful sleep. I rarely wake up with a hangover, and am rarely sick. But, I almost always wake up feeling guilty and angry for letting myself down.
My husband drinks almost everyday, but can stop after his normal two, and almost always does. I know he recognizes that I have alcohol issues, but rarely mentions it, because if he did, then we would have to address them, and he?d feel that he would have to give up his happy hours in order to support me, which he would do in a heartbeat. And, that would make me feel even worse because it?s my problem ? not his. That?s why I?d like to try and manage this issue on my own, with me taking the lead.
Finally, alcohol abuse does run in my family ? I have an alcoholic father (who refuses to acknowledge that), and many, many relatives with a long history of alcohol addiction.
Next Steps: I wanted to finally come out, write my story, and maybe solicit some support from all of you. I know there are many of you who have alcohol issues that are far less serious than mine, and there are those of you who have a bigger battle. But, one thing for sure, whether it?s a big problem or a small problem, it?s a problem, and that is why we are here.
My goal is to AF during the week, and only enjoy drinks on the weekend ? Friday and Saturday. My longest AF so far has been ten days, but I typically can only squeeze out one day a week, if I try real hard. I know there are threads and threads of recommendations as to how to accomplish AF during the week, but I?d like to start a new thread for me, and would love to hear what you can recommend to help me achieve my goals. And, perhaps I?ll realize that my goals aren?t achievable, and that I will have to be AF, but I?d like to give it a try this way first. I have read the book, have taken the supps, but do not want to take any meds.
Is there anyone out there who is trying to achieve the same goals and is finding success, and has some tips that will help? Or are you new, wanting to attain the same goals, and are looking for a buddy to work it through together?
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