My Long Introduction

[LBJ]

My Long Introduction

Thanks so much, all!

Lilnev, I haven't spoken to my husband about it -- yet -- and you are absolutely right -- fear of disappointment and letting him down is a big factor. I've printed out my story, and plan to give it to him to read.

Trixietrack, thanks for your advice -- it helps a lot. Thanks, too, Jessie for your perspective and encouragement...

[Justin Time]

My Long Introduction

LBJ,

Your husband loves you and is your best friend. You have nothing to fear!

Going on vacation for a week- check on you when I get back- good luck- I know you will be fine!

[LBJ]

My Long Introduction

Have a great vacation, Justin...

[lupine]

My Long Introduction

Hi LBJ,

I've also been lurking around for a few months, posted a couple of questions and have been working myself up to actually committing to this program. Unfortunately I have no advice for you since I have yet to start but my story is very similar to yours. I consider myself a ?functional alcoholic" and also have a family history of alcoholism. I go to work every day no matter what, do my job very well and have a lot of great friends and family who don't know the extent of my problem (at least I don't think so). Probably until about noon I have no plan of drinking that evening but then somehow it just turns around and I?m planning which liquor store (in the rotation) I will be stopping at after work and what the drink of the evening will be which is usually wine or beer. I?ve been doing this for the past 20 years (I?m 40 now) and somehow I?ve remained healthy and very active until now, I?m tired all the time and just feel like I?m going downhill physically so I want to do something about it before its too late.

My goal like yours is to be AF during the week and a social drinker on the weekends. I?ve have all the supplements and also Topamax which I ordered online without a prescription. I?m going to try doing only the supplements for the first week because I would also prefer to do this without meds. If I have no success then I will start with the Topamax the second week. I?m hoping to start this coming Sunday so if you are looking for company and support I?m here.

Lupine

[LBJ]

My Long Introduction

Lupine,

I am certainly looking for company, and I'm with you on Sunday. I look forward to the support...thanks for the note...one AF day at a time...

[july232007]

My Long Introduction

LBJ,

I have enjoyed reading your posts. You have brought out similar life stories in others and no doubt that a few others are reading who see themselves in your post: a strong way for you to begin your change.

I have followed a similar path and began in July AF with supps and the book, now 91 days AF. No meds but I know they work for others. I have the CD's but have not listened to them, I'm not sure why.

I have a couple suggestions and will volunteer the male perspective, if one exists for these issues.

1. Your loving husband knows. He is aware of the problem but perhaps not its depth.

2. Why not begin the AF days now. Fridays will always be hard and Saturdays harder if you wait for them. You sound ready, begin now.

3. AF days are hardest in days 4-5 for many people. I actually found thinking about the change harder than the change.

4. Failure is what most of us fear who have issues with alcohol. That is what gets us on this cycle. What would you do this weekend if you knew you could not fail? Corny, I know. But repeat it as if you meant it. Powerful?

Good luck and know your goals are attainable. You have worked hard for your education, family, and professional esteem: in short your life. This path is no different it is work: rewarding, enriching, potentially life changeing work. You will love it.

July

[rustop61]

My Long Introduction

Hi LBJ and welcome

You could have been writing my story, we have so much in common. The children, living abroad, hubby drinking but not having a problem. I have been here since last year, had some success but found I cannot really moderate so am going for AF. I did 30 Days in September, had one slip in October and am going for another 30 Days in November. I am taking it ODAT, baby steps. There is a thread ODAT (One Day at a time) over in Newbies that a lot of us post on. There is also a 30 Day Inn thread.

Read the book and take it from there. I am taking the supplements, cd's and posting, its hard but I feel I am going in the right direction. Good luck.

Rustop

[satori]

My Long Introduction

Welcome from me too LBJ,

Your story is similar to my own although I am male!

Well educated highly functional and all that - but a big problem with alcohol.

This place turned my life around and gave me my real life back.

I spent a few months moderating fairly successfully drinking only 3 or four drinks a week (with a couple of minor slips) and after a while decided to try a 30 day Alcohol free stint.

That was 100 days ago.

I now feel SO much better that I can scarcely believe it.
After about 14 days AF my energy levels soared, I was sleeping better and I feel years younger - you CAN do it and it is SO worth the effort.

As July said days 4/5 can be tough - but if you can get through those - with our 24/7 support if you want it - you CAN succeed.
After the first week - it just gets easier and easier.

However - you are sounding like you are procractinating - possibly afraid to commit to this?
Believe me - there is NEVER a right time to quit - there will ALWAYS be a reason to have just one more day drinking.

I would suggest you just take the bull by the horns and go for it!

You will NOT regret it!
(you might regret NOT doing so tho' )

Wishing you all the best.

Take care

Love :l

satori
xxx

[dessislava]

My Long Introduction

Hi LBJ

Just like you I had a period of drinking wine every evening – pressure at work, long hours…..the usual story. Luckily I’ve come to my senses and stopped after only few months, but – there always is a “but” otherwise I wouldn’t be here. For years I will be AF all working week and comes to the weekend I was more than making up by drinking anything up to 2- 2,5 bottles of wine. Nowadays, after reading RJ’s book and taking vitamins on a regular basis I only allow myself a drink on Saturday. It is achievable and could be enjoyable, saying that my final goal is to stop altogether. Finally I just would like to say, that unless you are badly addicted, it is all in you mind. If you manage to convince yourself (and nobody else) that you don’t need a drink every day it will be easy after that. Good luck!
P.S. I also have a loving husband. Don’t be afraid to look for support from people who love you.

[bloggy]

My Long Introduction

Just to say welcome LBJ

I was also quite a well functioning alcoholic, my story is a bit different to yours, because I was already addicted by the age of 18, but I managed to hold everything together pretty well untll my dad was diagnosed with cancer nearly 4 years ago, then I started to fall to bits.

Just to wish you good luck, and it is a wise decision to do something about it before it becomes common knowledge that you have a problem, as it what happened with me.

:welcome:

[evergreen]

My Long Introduction

LBJ,

I would say we could be twins but after reading all these posts I would have to say triplets, quads, quints . . . .

My story is almost identical - masters prepared. Very functional, 3 wonderful children, no one knows I have a problem I would like to think. My husband drinks socially but could really take it or leave it. My mother was an alcoholic and at times a violently angry one while I was growing up. After my dad died she finally went to rehab and with the support of AA (practically a meeting a day) is doing splendidly! I have my mom back. I have always had a conflicted relationship with alcohol. Drawn to it but even when moderating some level of guilt because of my mom probably. I don't go to functions intoxicated. I do tend to drink my share. It never interferes with my work. I very rarely am hungover but I fear that may be a tolerance issue. I, too, love that evening time cooking with a glass of wine. I usually sip at it but then rarely stop until I finish the bottle or pour the rest of the bottle out so I can say I did not finish it. I have not talked to my husband about this. He has to know that I struggle but I am not sure he does - I do tend to hide it. Just not ready to bring it up with him

At any rate I have been coming to this site for about 5 or 6 months. For me this is a work in progress. I have tried several times to complete 30 days and have not done it but have more days AF than before. I am trying to look at triggers and make myself fully consciously aware of times in which I have enjoyed events so much more AF. I am doing the supps on and off but am too scared of the meds. I really should do the tapes but am not sure that I could work them in or hide them. At some point I am going to have to really fully wholeheartedly commit to doing EVERYTHING in my power to make it 30 DAYS. I am still trying to figure out what is holding me back. Others on this site have done so well . . . . . .are so inspirational and supportive!!!

At any rate, WELCOME!!! Keep coming and I look forward to reading your posts.

[LBJ]

My Long Introduction

You people are incredible! Thanks so much for sharing your own stories with me. I've come to realize the enormous similarities that we have -- not just the addiction. It's quite a relief (and quite overwhelming at the same time) to know that I'm not alone.

I did do something else today. I told my husband that I planned to go AF for the next 30 days. I didn't go into any details (and I'm sure I did't have to), but simply said that I'd like to lose some weight, and part of achieving that goal was to lose the alcohol. He has come to my rescue, and is planning to go AF with me.

We start Monday, and I would like to invite any of you to join me, too, if you're willing to give it a try. It's not going to be easy, I know, but everyday that we can check the AF box will feel really, really good.

[free bird]

My Long Introduction

Reading the last two posts, made me chuckle a little to myself (AGAIN).. We are so much a like it is uncanny sometimes. I know your situation will be different LBJ, but the first time I talked to my husband was similar too. He stoped the drinking during the week (that was our plan then), but I didn't (go figure, it was my idea...dammmmittt). Which, is why I think I got to the place where Evergreen is at: wanting to keep it to myself for too many reasons to explain. In so many ways we are a like and so many ways different too, which is why it is so important to keep sharing our experiences in this journey.

Good luck! My 30 day will be up Nov. 17th and then I will see where I am going from there; maybe I will join you there for another 10 days.

[free bird]

My Long Introduction

p.s. Don't be mad if he looses more weight than you. They always do.

[LBJ]

My Long Introduction

Free bird -- thanks for the chuckle. Oh, wouldn't that just be the frosting the cake if he not only AF'd better than I, but lost more weight, too!!!

Awesome on YOUR goal. You must be so proud.

I hope you join me on Monday...