FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

[finski]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi

Hello you all,
Just read the threads that i've missed againg over a couple of days..

There seem to be a fair few sad stories in the past and present for a number of us...
Someone here said that forgiveness helps, and i do agree with that. Unfortunately you cannot change people, even if they are your family, so the next best thing is to let them be the way they are and concentrate on your own life instead.

I've had my problems with my family and had anger towards my sister, not because she's bad, but because she's in a abusive relationship and wasting her life. But i've come to realize i cannot help her unless she wants to, so i simply stopped trying to change her and instead still listen to her problems, but in a more detached way now. I still love her very much, but i won't let the worrying make me feel ill or defeated. You have to put your priorities right, and the best way to start that is to look after yourself first!! If you feel healthy and balanced, you're much better equipped to deal with others. It's nothing to do with being selfish, just securing your sanity before reaching out. Besides we all deserve some "me-time" too, in a selfish way at times.

I hope you all are still doing well and keeping strong for this november.

I went out for dinner last night, first social gathering whilst af.. and it was lovely. Really enjoyed the food and the company. And it was nice to come back home and be able to watch a film without passing out in the middle of it..

It's now day 19 af... still going strong. Started finally to feel a bit more awake this week and had a little workout most days. I'm just surpried i didn't realize earlier how "easy" it is to be af.. But remember, my dear friends... i only have done it because of finding you lot!!!
Love you all for that.

Keep your heads up high and don't give up even if there are moments, and if you fall, just get straight back on it. We all here for each other.

Have a happy sunday.

Lots of love,
Finski :l :h

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Victory

I'm going to try this again, for the third time and try not to screw this up.

Tried responding to you Saturday morning, typed for 45 minutes, had a phone call, lost what I typed, blamed it on one of my cats, stepping on my laptop. Same thing tonight.

Your name is an inspiration. Your description of family as being toxic is brilliant. Don't you dare call yourself a serial liar, you have more honesty and integrity, then anyone else in your family. You are here with us, being honest. Continue with your education, there is so much grant money available in the US, some stupid, like Breck shampoo giving money to blonds. There must be some options in your country.

You are so strong, so honest sharing your story with us. You need to continue with you education. I know that I would hire you in a heartbeat.

Sorry that I haven't responded directly and congratulated so many of you of your successes and inspiration, Sweetpea, Finski, wonderworld, teardrop and everyone else. Finding this thread has been the most important empowering thing I've ever done.

I promise that I'll be more careful when typing. I usually do it in bed, and the cats start walking over the keyboard.

I need to copy and paste my boothstars.com horoscope for today.......


Virgo (Aug. 23 ? Sept. 22)
Sunday, November 18, 2007
The darkest hour is just before the dawn. It?s a lonely time that leaves us fearful of what is still to come. But as the first hopeful glow of the sun appears, hope and inspiration warms us. You are, now, about to cross that threshold.

My best to you all. We will do it!

Suki:h :h :h

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

FIREWORKERS DECEMBER ACTION PLAN

:wave: :wave: Hi Everyone

Got to my 15 AF day and cannot believe that I have got this far - all with your help and support I may add THANKS :l

It has got me to feeling that I REALLY REALLY WANT TO CARRY ON so as I said in a previous post I would come up with some sort of action plan for Party Time

Here goes


FIREWORKERS DECEMBER ACTION PLAN


• No more than 14 units for women and 21 for men a week
• Have a soft drink between every alcoholic one or have spritzers or low alcoholic
ones instead ( I prefer to alternate between alcohol and soft drinks)
• At least 4 AF days a week
• Keep taking the sups daily
• Keep posting and reading at least 4 days a week. More if you can manage it
• Commit NOW to 30 days AF in January

When you have got to alcohol drink number 3 keep telling yourself

I don’t need to drink to be happy MODERATE don’t undo the hard work

Any thoughts on the plan pleeeeeeeeease add your ideas. I have not gone from AF to Mod and back to AF again so I don't know the pitfalls. What I am trying to do with this plan is to make sure I don't undo all my hard work and set myself a realistic target that I will achieve.

Obviously anyone who want to remain AF after the 30 November days remember we are all behind you. Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Finski HI - 19 days FANTASTIC well done It is great to know that you can go out with friends not drink and still have a good time. I will be going out for the first time this week in company and really really hope I can stick to an AF evening.

Suki your horoscope could be adapted for all of us going through this journey together to

The darkest hour was just before we found MWO. WE WERE lonely and fearful of what was still to come. But as the first hopeful glow of the sun appeared, hope and inspiration from fellow comrades warmed us. We have crossed the threshold to a better place where we have found love, understanding, a sense of peace and know we will never be alone again

::h Sweetpea xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_____________________

*************** Day 15 AF

[finski]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hiya

Hi,
Sweetpea,, you're not far behind me.. well done to all of us!! Your december plan seems pretty good to me. I know the first weekend i will let my hair down as some of my big party friends are coming over for the weekend, but after that i will try to stick to your plan. Actually it sounds very healthy to me, but most of all, very achieable. You're a clever one!!! and it's an honour to know you. We all owe it to you. :h

And for the rest of you, i'm sorry i haven't posted any personal messages to anyone, just not had very much time here yet. But i shall send you all a very personal message soon.

In the meantime, once again, keep your heads up high and keep thinking that you can do this, we are all in it together.

Catch up soon.

lots of love from,.
Finski :l

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Sweetpea

You are such an inspiraion. I got up a 5 am yesterday morning, went to where I was renting a storage place after selling my mom's condo. Putting things that i just couldn't bear to throw away or donate somewhere. Packed up my car, drove down to cape cod. as I was driving over the bridge, kept remembering my mom use t say how she hated heights, but everytime she crossed the cape cod canal, she felt like a new person. So did I yesterday.

Got down to her small condo, bringing things that were important to me, pillows that she needlepointed, blankets or quilts that I made. After she died, rented a moving van, took the dining room table from my mom's house to the cape, took the one from the cape back to my mom's house, because my sister wanted it.

When I got down there yesterday, called my sister to tell her how good I felt being there. Her comment was, it's probably because I (she) spent so much time cleaning it up after you (me) left it in such a mess. I was the one that set everything up and cleaned things.

Victory, I think your sister and mine are clones. They say things to set us off.

I was the one who took time off from work, rent a moving van, drive it (frightening experience) donate the 30 year old bedding somewhere only to have her turn it against me. So at 10:30am yesterday, poured a glass of diet coke and topped it off with vodka. I'm not proud of myself, but I realize that this is a process. I am discovering what sets me off. Mostly my selfish, self-absorbed sister and my brother who abused me. Victory, toxic is the right word. .

I did spend 4 days AF and am sure that I can do it again, and for longer. Being here with all of you means more to me than spending time or corresponding with my family. It will take me time, but this road of self-discovery is so important. Thank you all.

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Sweetpea

I accept your challenge for your December plan and for being January being AF!

You are the best and such an inspiration.:thanks: :thanks: :h :h

[evergreen]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi all,

My girls have been monopolizing the computer so I have not posted or read in awhile and I am catching up.

I slipped yesterday for no explicable reason. The beast had been whispering in my ear for several days . . . very quietly not a raging craving. I opened a bottle of red wine. Truthfully, it did not even taste that good. I did not finish it and even threw away more of it than I would usually do but I am really disappointed in myself. Yesterday would have been day 18!! I really could have made 30 days!!!! I made myself get on the computer this morning. I have got to make this work!!!

Sweetpea - I LOVE the December plan!!! I had really thought about doing (at that time I thought it was another) 30 day stretch in January. Much of my holiday stuff starts this week with Thanksgiving so I may start my December now. Is that a cop out??? Right now I am looking forward to some AF days. I may see how it goes. Feel free to challenge my rationalizations!!

Suki - noone can set us off like family. Rise above it!!!! Don't let your sister veer you from your path.

Victory, Finski, Teardrop and all - hello and hugs!

Evergreen

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

monday

It's monday morning, I should have been been at work by 7:30, it's now 8:00 am.

I'm not happy with myself, since I just had a big drink, how can I be happy with myself if I can't get through one day.

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

:armsaround: Suki don't beat yourself up too much. This is the hardest time of the year and you are still grieving for you mum. On top of that you have the TOXIC family from hell. PLease try not to let them get to you and well done for realising they are the trigger that sets you off. Try to have as little contact as possible with them. When you need to talk post here or ring a trusted friend who loves you.

You know YOU CAN DO IT because you have done 4 days AF which was really really good. Just take ODAT and draw a line uder the previous day if you have slipped up. Post here and get all the support you deserve. WE are here for you :l

Finski glad you like the plan and think it is achievable. It is lovely to hear from you and I hope the weekend with your friends goes really well

Evergreen not a cop out at all. 17 days AF was really great and you should be proud of yourself so if you need to start the December plan earlier that is fine AND throwing the rest of the bottle away was the right thing to do. You are being true and honest to yourself and us which is the main thing so get as many AF days in as you can

:h :h Sweetpea xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi everyone

Thanks for posting the December plan. I had been wondering what to do. On the one hand I would love an AF xmas and to keep on clocking up AF days but there are a few parties coming up. I never overdo it socially, my problem is the wine at home particularly when drinking alone. I'll see how it goes but I'm defnitely signing up for January. If I get 29 more AF days between now and end December that will be 120 AF days this year!!! I did 90 last year so progress has been made, long may it continue.

Rustop

[happydog]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone,
The weather here is raining and dark, give me a bit of frost and sun need to kill the germs in the air.
Suki- please be gentle with yourself, it is still early days. like sweetpea said you have done 4day AF and that is really good take one day at a time or 1hour at a time. be good to yourself.
Finski- Totally agree with you sweetpea is a honour to know such a inspiration.
Evergreen- you have done so well be proud of yourself 17days is good in my books well done for coming back.
Sweetpea- well done 15 days AF. Love the horoscrope.
Just like to say a BIG Thank to all - 18days AF.

Love
Teardrop.x

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

:cheering Hi Everyone

I have got to 16 days AF but got a couple of hectic days ahead with the lead up to party time. Hope I can keep strong and focused but I will not drink today, I will not drink today ODAT. How is it that the beast seems to sit on your shoulder at certain points on a 30 day AF plan - Think I might make a voodoo doll and stick pins in the beast or think of some other fate for him HE MUST BE THE MOST HATED THING EVER!!!!

KEEP POSITIVE KEEP POSITIVE KEEP POSITIVE WE WILL NOT DRINK TODAY

Thinking of my December Party Time Mod plan is keeping me focused as well. One thing for certain is that it will show me whether I am able to go to AF to Mod back to AF. Having not been at this point before I have no clue but with your support I will do the best I can

HOW IS EVERYONE

RUSTOP like you I would love to have an AF Christmas - It would be the first since I was a child I think - coming from an alcoholic family I wonder. Even as a baby my mothers ideas of curing teething problems or any illness was to stick my dummy in the Brandy and then give it to me!!!!! Maybe that is why my drinking problems started!!! Still like you even with my action plan I still want as many AF days as I can manage. The goal of 120 AF days this year is a great achievment for you. Go for it and well done

Teradrop well done on 18 days AF. The weather here is pretty dismal as well but we will be strong and not try to warm ourselves with a hot Toddy like in the pre MWO days

Love and strength to you all Keep posting

:hug: Sweetpea XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

______________________________

**************** DAY 16 AF

[happydog]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

I also have a sister from HELL

Hi good morning everyone,

Like suki and victory, I actually have a sister from hell as well. The think that sticks in my mind is when my dad was on his death bed in hospital. my sister was arguing with my brother at the end of the bed. my brother had to walkout.
Even though my dad was not the perfect dad towards us. But i would know where to draw the line. When my dad past away, my sister wanted her work firm to deal with my dad WILL. Six months down the road nothing was done. so in the end i went to my dad solicitors. Good thing i did. my sister work firm never had my dad will, but they wanted my dad solicitor to forward it on to them. But could not without me and my brother signatures.
Anyway we had two solicitors involved.
My sister wanted my dad house for half the asking price. We never had no happy memories there. All she wanted was to get the house and sell it and make triple her money. I was glad we sold the house always had nightmares in that house.
we stop talking for 7years it was a relief, not having no phone calls from her no arguing. we do talk now but once in a bluemoon. I can only take her in small doses, other wise she does my head in.I'm the youngest out the four of us (well three now). I never got told nothing but always got picked on to do the heavy load. I have a half brother some where in israel only found out after my dad past way.
Had to share that with you today.

Sweetpea- it does make me think if i can go AF to mod to AF a bit scary really.
I think you are all so wonderfull.
Have a good day.
19day AF and feeling alive again.
Love
TEardrop.x

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

it's about 6:30 am, poured a drink, but left it in the kitchen, am now in bed, watching the news. i need to get up, get ready for work, but am a bit nervous since i didn't show up yesterday.

2 of my cats are sitting on top of me, now it's 3. they know when i'm down.

I'm so overwhelmed with what I have to do to settle my mom's stuff before the end of the year, just to please my sister, her husband and my brother.

I thank all of you for your stories and your support. i guess i have to hit bottom before i can go forward. i think i'm there, i hope i am.:thanks: :h :h

[evergreen]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Suki - Hang in there girl!!! The drink is in the kitchen which is close to the sink - a good place for it. If it is too late then the next drink is sink bound. Take it one day at a time. I, too have been where you are with all the family crap!!! We can't control how people act but we can try to control what we do with it. Don't let someone else dictate what you have to do. If they want it done quickly, they can help!! At any rate, you are still coming here which speaks volumes!!!!!!!!! You are on the right path, the right direction . . ODAT!!!:l

Sweetpea - thank you SOOO much for your kind words and inspiration. 16 days!!! Wohoo!!!! :yougo:

Rustop - thank you also for your support. We have a tremendous amount in common - I actually may change my name to Evergreen62. I also do pretty well at social functions. My issue is being home alone with my wine!!!:hug:

Teardrop - this is me taking my hat off to 18 days!!!! That despite not feeling well last week!!! You are on the downhill slope to 30!!!!!!!:racer:

Suki - another final hug . . . . . cats are known to have very discriminating tastes. They know a quality lap!!!:

Love ya'll!!!
Evergreen62

I'm back in the saddle again . . . . .

I'm back to these smiley thingys again . . . .

Ha - my message just got rejected for using too many images!!!!!