FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Good morning Suki and all to come

Suki, sometimes the thought of doing something is worse than the actual doing. When you get stuck in and get it out of the way, you will feel much better. Try to ignore your toxic family, its not easy, I know. I am trying to do the same with my inlaws but every so often I get sucked in. My husband has it down to perfection, he just does not bother with any of them but I feel guilty especially regarding his Mom who is getting old and living alone.

There is tons of support here for you so keep on logging in and telling us how you are getting along. Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well. Catch you all later.

Rustop

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[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone

Teardrop thankyou for sharing all that with us it must be a relief to be able to get it out into the open. Keeping things bottled up is not a good idea. Keeping your sister at arms length is a wise thing to do, that way you will have no regrets in the future that maybe you should have kept in contact with her. But always make the contact on your terms and do not let her get under your skin again. Your right AF to Mods to AF again is scarey and everyone must make their own decision on whether it is for them or not. If you decide to stay AF we shall be supporting you all the way. I have not come to a definite decision yet I want to get to 30 days and see how I feel. One thing I know for certain I will do as many AF days as I can. 19 DAYS AF IS FANTASTIC YOU ARE A STAR


:armsaround: Suki hang on in there don't feel as if you are going through this by yourself. Tell your sister, her husband and your brother that you will do things in your own good time and to stop using bullying tactics. Make a list of what you have got to do to sort things out, top of the list is what you need to do for yourself ( because you are worth it ), next what you need to do for your 3 loyal cats, next what you have got to do to keep your employer happy and LAST what you got to do to sort out your mums stuff. Break everything down into manageable chunks you know you can achieve in a day, add up the days add 2/3 for luck and then tell sister and co what will be the earliest date and if they don't like it to lump it or get their finger out and HELP YOU. I agree with evergreen empty the booze down the sink

Evergreen:yay: Back in the saddle fantastic. I am as bad as you I am forever getting rejected for using too many images - but I like them and they lighten things up and make posts more personal and supportive

Rustop nice to hear from you. I agree that the doing can be less daunting than thinking about doing it

Take care everyone - Onwards and upwards - Keep strong - We are all there for each other

:h Sweetpea :h XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

The beast is looking at me can I be strong

:h HI

rustop61, db2fromala, gabby1go, Roz and Sis, cuckoosnest83, flutterby, cowgal, Finski, slightlysuze, evergreen, MissCheryl, Leebo, Amelia, wonderworld, CaptJBean, paula, debruce, Janice, Teardrop, exteacher, retteacher, Feeling Fortunate, betty boop, meditation mama, Cheebs, Veronica, xEmx, Start over, Izzie, Raoul, Janka, Rags, Eastender, Doggygirl, Livewire, Chief, blondie, Suki411,Victory and Wakeupmum

Got to day AF day 17 and the :alf: is sitting on my shoulder one minute giving me a sly grin and the next roaring with laughter anybody got a rifle so I can shoot the bl**dy thing. Tonight is the big test will I be able so say NOOOOOOOO a diet coke will be fine thankyou. Not only tonight but for the next 4 nights. It is just one social event after the other. I am feeling really, really nervous and worried about the whole prospect. The family has been very supportive over the past 17 days and have been congratulating me everyday on how well I am doing which just adds to the pressure

How are the rest of you doing?

God help us all to keep strong and focused. Love you all

:groupluv: Sweetpea XXXXXXXXXXXXX

:sofa: I am hiding from the Beast will that help?

___________________________________________

***************** Day 17 AF

[happydog]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi ALL,
Sweetpea well done 17days AF keep on going. I would love to shoot that bl**dy thing of for you and of mine. I have fallen of that big peddle stool of mine. my husband went to france with the lads come home with lots of booze for xmas. Just could not help myself. I feel like i want to blame him but it not his fault its my actions. Feel very disappointed and upset in myself. The good thing is i dont feel angry in myself, got to get my bearing together and get back on track some how. Maybe i have a kit kat break who knows. Just feel a little bit at a lost end. He has put the drinks in the shed and put the key away somewhere, the worst thing is one bottle of wine was not enough so took the dog for a walk and got some diamond white cider in the shop. Looking out for you guys doing those 30days keep going and dont stop. would never have done 18days without this thread there is so much support and love here.( i will not drink today.)

My star sign is cancer: Today i feel like a little crab that wants to crawl back into it shell.

Keep strong everyone with lots of love.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Teardrop.

[Long Road]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Sweetpea,

I don't know what time it is in your part of the world, but I've travelled the globe often and comprehensively, and I know for certain that there is no such thing as " The Witching Hour". All I can drink and anytime no matter what the clocks at Greenwich say. This disease knows no hours, the clocks are all 24/7.

You're added note says " Hiding from the beast".

There ain't no hiding from this beast. Call to your sword soldier, and fight!



Long Road

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Well said Long Road, it is a constant battle between us and the beast. Chief was telling us yesterday that after 100 days he still came calling but thankfully he kicked his butt. Dont beat yourself up Teardrop, you have done amazing and today is another day.

Hi Sweetpea, Suki, Evergreen and everyone else. To those of you in the US Happy Thanksgiving, hope you all have a great day.

Rustop

***********************

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

It's 6:30 am in Boston. I'm going into work today, but am having an incredible anxiety attack. It's trash day, emptied the bottle of vodka in the sink, the empty bottle is in the recycle bin. I hate the holidays, today would have been my dad's b-day.

There was a book written in the 60s called "Been down so long it feels like up to me". That's sort of how I feel right now. I checked out boothstars.com for today's thought and for my horoscope. The billiard balls in my life are colliding right now


Thought for the Day
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Some astrological configurations are calm and relaxing, but this is certainly not the case at this time. There is a sense of billiards balls scattering and colliding across the table after the initial break. The full moon approaches!

Virgo (Aug. 23 ? Sept. 22)
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
As the intensity of this full moon now culminates, you won?t feel very objective or impartial about an emotional quandary with which you are struggling. But you will find out who?s for you and who?s against you. And that will prove most interesting.

My best friend just called to see how I was doing. Haven't heard from my sis since Sunday. With all of you and my friend, I know that I c an get through this. Thank you all.

[evergreen]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hey Suki,
Guess what?? We are all for you!! Lots of us from all around the world!! Hang in there and Happy Thanksgiving!!! Way to go pouring that nasty stuff down the sink!! I always feel like recycling day is a fresh start!! Put my past sins on the curb!!:hug:

Teardrop,
This is me holding up my hand to pull you back up on the horse!! Wear your spurs. We have fallen and we CAN get up!!!:goodjob:

Sweetpea,
You win!! That is the most awesome smiley thingy!! Love the couch!! You are going strong and your family is with you. You are on the downside of 30 days!!!!
Rustop, Long Road - hi and keep at it:yougo:

Today is a tough one for me. Tonight it my main social event for thanksgiving. I want to mod but may be better off AF. We will see!!!!

:bat Lets keep kicking the beast to the curb!!!

Evergreen

[Sante]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Good Morning Everyone,

Wish I could say that i am looking forward to Thanksgiving, but that isn't the case. Maybe that is why I've been drinking so much in the last week. Who knows? Drinking always seems good to me, even though I hate it and what it makes of me. I've been in a down place for a while now. Stupidly I stopped taking some medication for mood swings. It's crazy what I do to myself sometimes. BUT today I'm going to really try to snap out of this, not drink, and try to push forward. I just can't go on this way anymore.

Sante

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone,
Its great to see everyone doing so well.
Have been getting my daily boost from reading posts daily, so much of what is said I can relate to including the Family problems.

My 21st day AF today and healthwise feel good,(had coldsore like others on the thread for the first week)
My husband has been working away from home for a few days each week for the last three weeks and I have been tempted to drink but somehow in different ways (mainly reading or posting at MWO ) have obstained.

I decided to visit my parents at the coast last weekend and knew that my Dad would stock up on wine for me.
It was the first time I ever said No to a drink and of course I was drilled for the reason.
My Mum is not a drinker (two glasses and she is whoosy is her answer) but I found myself telling them that my consumption of 1-2 bottles of wine a night meant I was out of control.They did not seem shocked because they knew how much I was capable of consuming but they did not realise how frequently.
I then told them about MWO. I had only just received the book and had started to read it on the train journey.
I had a few tears (and strangely enough some now whilst I write) I dont know why.
My mum was pleased that I was doing something about it and told me she had always hated drinking. When I asked why ?she told me the following
My mother now 71 the eldest of ten children was always expected to look after her siblings whilst my grandparents went out for a drink.
She had a sister of 4 months old left in her care (together with four others of different ages)when she was 15 .The baby got very sick over the evening whilst my grandparents were out drinking.
Sadly the baby died the next morning and my mother has always blamed herself and associated her sadness with the drink that her parents regularly had.
My father on the otherhand admitted that he was younger than me when he took his first drink. Nine years old he was sneaking Port from my Grandmothers drinks cabinet!
He, like me had not managed to stop at one or two and has often been my drinking partner. I think he felt sad at loosing a comrade somehow.
My favorite bottle of wine that my Dad had bought was to go home with me at first, but then my Dad said he would keep it until his annual visit at Christmas.
My Mum hugged me tight at the station when I left for home something she never does.
I dont know if I did the right thing telling them because they will worry and my Mum will watch me like a Hawk in the future. (she always does my Dad!)
When I got home I went and bought a bottle of the same wine , its still unopened in the chiller. I wanted to prove to myself that I would not touch it until after my 30 days.I dont think they trusted me! I wanted to know that I could trust myself.
I am pleased with my effort but I feel a bit empty and lost somehow at present Has anyone else experienced this?

Keep up the good work and take care everyone.

[bookmom]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Eastender,
What a brave thing to do to address your parents. I know what you mean about feeling watched. I feel like now that my family knows (actually they probably knew for a while) everyone is staring at me at family functions. I know there has talk behind my back and I had told family members I wanted to handle things on my own. I am worrked about tomorrow Thanksgiving dinner. You should be very proud of yourself for bringing things out in the open. Hang in there!

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Thanks for your reply Bookmom,
We do not have thanksgiving in England but I have a dinner on Friday night to meet my daughters boyfriend at a favorite Restaurant. Like you I am dreading the occasion because the restaurant are well aware that our drinks bill is always the most expensive part of the bill! My daughter knows that I am not drinking at present and has offerred to drink mine! Not a good idea I said.
Keep strong and dont let them get you down, I wish you luck!

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone and Happy Thanksgiving to my US friends

:wow: I actually managed to last the evening without resorting to filling a glass with wine. Don't know how I did it? A mystery to me but I just kept thinking about you all and the night passed without me weakening. It must have been the good vibs you were sending me yesterday - thanks everyone. I have now got to do the same for the next 3 nights but ODAT - today I am not going to have a drink

Teardrop you did fantastically well to go 18 days. Don't beat yourself up ODAT as Evergreen says grab hold of her hand and pull yourself back into the saddle. Today is a new beginning

Welcome Longroad thanks for the advice and I will not try to hide from the beast but meet him head on with sword in hand. I feel a little bit more positive today having managed the first hurdle without weakening

Rustop I suppose the reality is that the beast will never go completely away, well done to chief. What I must do is find every strategy to keep him where he belongs - like on a desert Island in a cage where he can't interfer with peoples lives and destroy their happiness. Are the yellow stars your current AF days? If so brilliant and very well done. I have a habit of enlarging mine, not to show off, but to try and motivate myself to keep going and keep focused - This is so hard but we all know that - thanks for your support

Suki How did work go? Anxiety attacks are the pits and can manifest themselves in different ways. When I am in that state I cannot feel my hands and feel that I am looking down on myself - Scarey. But as long as you recognise the symptoms it helps them to pass a little quicker. Do you have any relaxation dvds/tapes. When I am going through a really bad time I find they help. Our parents birthdays are engraved on our minds. It never gets any better but we learn to deal with it a little better as time passes. Good job on pouring the booze down the sink - well done


Evergreen How did last night go? Just keep kicking that beast away

Welcome Sante. Being in that down place is very debilitating. Take strength from our love and support we are here for you. The first step is realising that you do not want to keep feeling the way you do. Keep posting, keep focused and together we will all help each other get to a better place and be happier

:h Eastender It is obvious your parents love you very much and want to support you all the way. Being honest with your mum has enabled her to unlock a very painful memory. The hug at the station says it all. This may be a new begining for all of you. Yes your mum may watch you like a hawk but she will only be doing it because she loves you. Yes your dad has lost a drinking partner but you will be doing him a favour because he will respect your desire not to drink heavily and may moderate his own habits which can only be a good thing. 21 days AF is fantastic so take heart and keep that bottle in the chiller till after the 30 AF days - it will taste all the better. I know how you feel about being lost and empty - that is why I am spending so much time on this website. It is giving me a purpose to my day and if I can help at least one person a day with words of encouragement I feel as if I am doing something positive with my day.

Bookmum welcome. Hope today goes well for you. My friends last night have never seen me without a glass in my hand so I imagine there will be phone calls flying around today!! We are doing this for ourselves to find peace and happiness. So let them talk they will soon get bored and find something else to talk about when it is no longer news. Have a lovely thanksgiving dinner

:hug: Sweetpea :h xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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****************** Day AF

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Sweetpea,
My favourite flower colourful strong longreaching and cheerful(I have them in my garden)
The name so suits I can only say that your personal note to me not only brought tears but was so lovely.
Just wanted to say to you that you have helped me and so many others, THANK YOU.xXx

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Happy Thanksgiving to all our US friends. Hope you all have a wonderful AF day. Hi to everyone else, this is just a quick check in as I am going shopping!!

Rustop