FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

[evergreen]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Teardrop - Hang in there. It seems to me that you have come so far from where you were a year ago. Lots more posts of successful AF times. Hang in there . . . Monday is coming. One day at a time. We can all relate.

Massai - my condolences on the death of your parents. It does bring comfort to have a place to go to reflect and honor your loved ones.

Rustop - great advice.

FJ - My heart goes out to you. Is there somewhere you can go for help? A doctor or counselor? This is a disease. We all need help with it.

I had a bad night last night. I had been 15 days AF and ended up drinking wine . . . too much at book club. Though I could mod . . . NOT. I could kick myself. Starting over again . . . ARGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Happy Friday Firecrackers!!

EG

[fjones]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Evergreen thanks for your note. I am seeing my counsellor Tuesday and will go to AA Saturday and Sunday but today will have to suffer the withdrawals and sleep tonight. I feel crap and just want to cry but can't because I am at work and I don't want people to know. So tired of this.

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone

Wow we all seem to be struggling big time - in fact it was this time last year that I started this thread Hmmmm wonder if it is the change in seasons that gets us all going.Honest answer is that I don't know. All I do know is without MWO over the last year I would have really lost it. Thank you all so much for supporting not only me but the rest of the crackers. I have been so so much better for the support so it is onwards and upwards with this constant struggle with AL. I seem to be able to mod most of the time BUT the time that I can't I am beginning to wonder if it is worth the heartache. I suppose it is a journey I have to make and find out for myself BUT I AM SO SO MUCH BETTER THAN I WAS:l:h

Teardrop never appologise you are such a supportive person and we are all there with you against this fight with al. Take care my friend pm me any time you wantxx

Maasia we all grieve in different ways and if you get comfort from laying a small foundation then I think you are really doing the right thing for you. I have lost my parents and know what a huge gap has been left in my life. Congratualations on being af for so long. Well done you are an inspiration

Rustop great advice as always. Have a great weekend - Have you finished the decorating yet? xx

fjones great to hear from you again. I am so sorry you are having such a bad time of it at the moment. Keep reading and posting and keep close to the boards. Have you tried any of the supplements or meds that RJ suggests in her book. I found them to be brilliant. Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing. Remeber you are not on your own and we are all here to help each other

Evergreen remeber ODAT so draw a line under yesterday and start again :l

East thinking of you xx

All you other crackers hope you are doing ok and reaching your repsective goals. Either way let us know so we can be of help.

Loads of love Sweetpea xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[57Shelby]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Good Morning Crackers, Veterans and Newbies!
Sorry I have been away for so long. I have thought of you all often. Needed to take a break from the site, and it has proven to be not such a good idea. While I have made great changes in my life, I am still drinking. I joined a gym and have been working out regularly. Feeling better, but the AL is preventing me from losing weight as I should. Things change after menopause, too and contribute to making it more difficult to lose.

It is good to see that the fierce strength and support are still a constant on this thread. A great group here. I can't say I will post daily or as frequently as I had in the past, but I just wanted to pop in and say hello and let you all know I still care and think about you all.

Smiles,
Shelby

[lukalee]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Where is my resolve? Told myself that I wasn't going to drink for 30 days, made it past 3 days. My goodness, this sucks. Today I start a new day, and I wont let the beast kill me.

[evergreen]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Lukalee,
I am starting a new day as well . . let's do it together!!! We are stronger than the beast!

57Shelby - Hi! I have been working out and dealing with the hormone related change in metabolism as well. It is tough and you are right the AL doesn't help!

Sweetpea - thanks as always for the wisdom. This is a frustrating roller coaster ride!

EG

[fjones]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

One more hour and I can leave the office. I have been worse than useless all day. The sweats are starting at the back of my neck so tonight will be sweaty as I detox yet one more time. I have a good four hour train journey ahead of me so by the time I get home I will be in a state of near collapse. I can't even moderate - never could, never will - as soon as it is in me I am off and I drink to blackout or collapse. It has become very dangerous yet despite that awareness when I feel really stressed and depressed with the PTSD a four hour bender seems like a good idea which of course is nuts and irrational - and I can't recall the pain of the last bender or the dreadful state I get into - because my stress level is higher the next day coupled with foul withdrawal and all that guilt, shame and remorse. Thanks for your posts and I will stay close now - it's going to be a detox unit if I don't get this sorted once and for all.

[happydog]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi everyone,
Shelby you are so right this is a great group here.......everyone has hep me in so many way. Just getting a strong urge that i want to stop today i hope i can.
Fjones... let us know how you are. i know there are some people here that keep a diary on how bad they feel and look bad on it, to remind them never to go down that road again.

To all firecrackers i love you all.x:l

Take care

Love
Teardrop.x

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Firecrackers

FJones and anyone else struggling, hope you are doing ok. It's a constant battle for all of us but when you do manage to get some AF time under your belt you feel so, so, much better.

Loosing weight seems to be something else we all have in common. I am on a 1000 a day calorie diet, lots of fruit and veg, no Al. Feel better but again it takes time and comitment. I had the blood tests last month to see how the hormones were doing and it seems I'm not even perimenapausal!! Thought I could use that as an excuse for the metabolism slowing down, no such luck. On the positive side the doctor also tested Thyroid, Kidney and Liver and all were normal. I was pleased about that especially the liver, given the amount of wine I have been drinking.

Doing the finishing touches to the decorating and should soon be finished. Better get back to it, have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop

[fjones]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi All, day 2 and its six in the evening here in London. My mood has dropped severely this afternoon and I am very anxious. I can't relapse again. I was drunk with my brother this Wednesday and went into a violent, aggressive rage about my PTSD and family history - this is the third time I have done this with him in the last two years. He said he was surprised that th police weren't called - that's a very low place to be. So now I am both a danger to myself and others. Did do an AA meeting this morning and it helps - I was sober through AA for 19 years but my past overwhelmed me and I have been drinking for the last 4 years - with gradual increase in volume and deterioation in quality of life and behaviour. Also did a Cost benefit analysis from the SMART recovery site - and guess what - there were no benefits on the list. I hope that you all had a good day and thanks for being there. Freddie

[fjones]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Here I go at Day 3 - bad sweaty night kept waking bathed in sleep and too much dreaming. Feel crap and very stressed due to being exhausted. Also my relationship has been cracking for a while due to my drinking and lack of commitment from my boyfriend - even though he has been supportive for 4 years and not totally rejected me due to alcohol , my depression or PTSD - until I did a huge out of control bender a couple of weeks ago. We decided just to be friends but I cant do that and last night told him that to do so is too stressful and too painful. All is a big mess I think. Hope you all have a better day than I am going to have. Freddie

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone

A manic day for me so just a quick pop in

Freddie hang on in there. Keep your resolve and you will get there. Keep posting and close to the boards. Are you taking any of the suggested supplemnets from RJ's book. Will post more tomorrow but in the meantime think about the things that have helped you in the past and see if you can revisit them

Loads of love to all the crackers

Sorry i am in such a hurry 2day

Sweetpea xxxxx:l:h

[evergreen]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Firecrackers!

Freddie, hang in there. Every day is one day closer to feeling better.

Rustop - only 1000 calories? That seems awful low. Sometimes if you go too low your metabolism shuts down as well. I was blaming my extra lbs on the wine but saw no difference in the scale when I stopped for 15 days. Must have been compensating some way. Perhaps in ice cream! Argh!!

Sweatpea - had a manic weekend as well. Hope you had a good one!

Teardrop - Hi!! The diary idea is great! I have been trying to do more journaling this year!!

Trying to make a fresh Monday start!! Have fallen off a bit. That is what always seems to happen. I slip from a fairly long stretch AF and then can't seem to get back on! Ugh!! Any suggestions!! At least I am being honest on my drink tracking and posting!!

EG

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Firecrackers,

Still struggling on day 2 af (again) desperately want to get determined this week and stick with it!
Last week youngest daughter came home from holiday with bf, he dumped her the day after returning in the middle of a shopping centre. Poor love, I could not console her, three days and nights she cried was heartbroken. Has not been eating, this is the third nasty relationship and still only 18! Never liked the guy anyway, mums have a funny sixth sense when it comes to partners for their kids. I am really the mum in law from hell but it is so hard to see them so lost and fragile! Sons car busted too guess who is baling him out, Bank of Mum & Dad again.
Freddie hope you are feeling better today it saddens me to think how many people are suffering so bad at the moment. Keep posting and let us know how you are.
Moderated well on wine whilst out to dinner but was Lemoncello after dinner what tempted me again this weekend. just small shot glasses but like nitro glycerine!!!!!!
Today is a new day, you are right Rustop getting caught up in the counting can make you crazy. ODAT for me. I envy you and the decorating wish I could get going, seeing consultant thursday for check up after my spaying, not looking forward to it.
Keep well everyone and take care

Eastx

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Firecrackers

Had a manic week-end, good to be back in routine again. One bedroom practically finished and I must say it looks really good (cream, aqua and purple). Other daughters furniture has not arrived yet and I still have to paint the deep purple wall, maybe today!!

Fjones hope you got through the week-end ok. If you managed to stay AF for so long I am sure you will do it again. Everyone else big hello. Have a great week, catch you all later.

Rustop