FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

:l Morning Everyone it is bright sunny day here and Sweetpea feels in a good mood and hopes everyone is having a good day

Things are a bit manic in the Pea household at the moment so only a short post:H Do I ever do short posts!!!

YAY great to see you back Wakupmom we missed you and of course we wouldn't leave you out of the sailing trip xx

Maryann it is always lovely to get your posts late or not xx

Teardrop you know we wish you all the luck and courage in fighting big Al that goes without saying WE ARE ALL BEHIND YOU IN YOUR QUEST LOLovexx If we team up in two's for sailing we could always find a :beach: to meet up and have a picnic. How about it? xx

East as I said yesterday the song is really lovely. Thinking of you and have a great weekend. Hope your builders have left you all nice and tidy - HA HA - Yes I do live in the real world sometimes!!!!! IF they did leave you nice and tidy can I have their address because they will be a first!!

Rustop hope you had a good walk with the dogs this morning because it is nice and sunny

Erin hope your weekend goes well

RN missing your posts xx Hope you are OK

Suki remember we are here for you if you need us XX

FBY looking forward to some more words of inspiration

Finski hope your busy day had not tired you out too much xx

dowdbj hope you have a great weekend you deserve it with all your hard work on the AF front

All you crackers have an excellent weekend

Lots of Love Sweetpea :h xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Morning Firecrackers,
Teardrop. Well done on your 4 days AF. Of course I wish you luck, I too have to speak to myself in the mirror and sound convincing! It is hard to avert the urge to drink, I just think of the letter from my liver now,(posted recently.) Glad the song hit you in the same way it does me. Will look up the stle council record.

Wakeup mom .Great to hear from you, seems you are sharing you boat with Teardrop,think you may be crew, she lost a battle with mast last time look after her!

Cowgal. Yes change is hard,but as we all know, the only person we can change is ourselves.

Sweetpea. Beat you again on the post. Hope you are well and enjoy your weekend.
Mothers day is going to be a trigger for me, so wish me luck.

Great weekend everyone

Eastx

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Sorry Sweetpea,
You did beat me! Had trouble sending must have been cross posting.
Tidy builders, having a laugh are you:H

Eastx

[Sunbeam]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Thanks for all your support, and for inviting me to join this group. My AF weekend will include a gardening symposium, a ballet performance, and celebrating husband's birthday. I will be baking him a real poundcake, with a pound of butter and six eggs. He then likes to put chocolate frosting on it (Yuck - too much of a good thing).

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Morning All

Just to wish you all well and have a lovely day. Very sunny but cold here. It is mothers day here so pretty busy. Will post again later if I get the chance

:l:h Sweetpea xx

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Happy Mothers day Firecrackers,

Felt the need to post and read today, had a very emotional morning and feel like a drink, so one of my avoidance tactics to log on!
Had lovely day and evening yesterday/last night with middle daughter and bf, Chineses take away and 1 YES! I said ONE glass of wine, (that was only to be sociable because bless her, was part of my pressie!)

Part of my decluttering at the moment, I came across old school drawings? cards made by my kids whilst at school.
While most brought a smile to my face,one mothers day card from my now 26 year old son (made when he was around 9) has made me cry. Something I have not done since he left home two years ago.
I do not know to this day his reasoning, but on finding a girlfriend at 18 he changed into someone that I do not recognise. He got into a lot of debt and when myself and Mr East eventually stopped "helping him" out and refused to let him have it "easy" he left. Saying he wanted nothing to do with us.
So before I posted I was sat looking at a handmade card which says "To my very special Mum" in floods of tears and wanting to open a bottle.
Well that craving has passed now,I have put the card on the mantelpiece because thats how I want to remember him, that sweet little boy who loved his mum.
Whilst writing and I feel I have let off steam now. Do not want to upset anyone today, but, boy such mixed emotions.
"Dangerous" daughter still not out of bed, not speaking to me after an argument when arriving at 5am saturday morning. no idea where she had been or who with,she also had no intentions of telling me. So last two days very trying OH happy days!

Hope everyone having good day!

Eastx

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Update

Say, who out there knows me?
Just had text from my son wishing me Happy mothers day!:yay:

There are angels listening!!!!! :lilangel:
Eastx

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

To all FCers, hope all of you are well. Sorry I haven't been around. Didn't succeed at the Lent thing. But didn't go overboard. Missed posting, made a huge difference in my mood when I was posting. Hopefully, being back here will help. Will try to do March Madness.

Sweetpea, thank you so much for remembering me in your posts! Can't tell you what it means to me!

East, so happy that your son got in touch with you. You said that you had an emotional morning and wanted a drink. I had an emotional morning and had a drink. Wish I had read your post first.

My Mom and Dad went through the same thing with my brother. After he graduated from college, his girlfriend got pregnant. They lied about getting married. They stopped talking to everyone in the family. Once they had their two girls, they started to ask my parents for money. Mom and my dad finally realized that they were enabling him and shut off the money. He and his wife turned to me for money. Which I don 't have, and if I did, I would not give them a penny. Neither one of them work. They now rely on their two daughters for money.

After my mother passed away, I found every letter and card that my sister, brother and I sent to her. I also found copies of letters that she sent to him asking him why he turned against his family. After reading my Mom's words, I can understand how painful it would be to have a son turn against you. East, I am so happy for you that he contacted you today.

Now that I am in charge of my mom's estate (which hasn't been settled yet, two and a half years afer she passed away) he is calling me a lot, telling me he loves me. The brother who sexually abused me as a child, now wants to be my best friend, because I hold the power and access to any money he might get. The manipulative, morally-depraved, lying bastard can't hurt me any more.

Sorry to vent, can you tell I'm going through therapy? I have finally come to terms with why I have no self-esteem, why I drink, why I am alone, why I never experienced mother's day.

Again, I apologize for this post. Promise to be more upbeat in the future! Happy Mother's Day all.

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Suki,
Wonderful to see you posting again my friend. My PJ's with the baby polar still remind me of you!

NO apoligy is required for your post, it is me who should say sorry my post has picked at your wounds .

Yes , it IS extremely painful when your child turns against you,especially over money or material things...I had hoped that I brought him up better than that. Just hope the contact is not because he is in a bigger mess.....
Don't beat yourself up over having a drink today,especially as you have not been too bad with it as you say...
I can't tell you how glad I am to see you post on firecrackers, I have been thinking on you ever since your technical trouble.
Take all that you can from your therapy it sounds as if it is helping...
Please don't be a stranger, pop by and let us know how you are, I for one will always be pleased to hear from you.

God bless

Eastx

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

East, thank you! Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can't tell you how good it feels to be back posting. What was I thinking for staying away!

I'm glad you posted what you did. I've been suppressing my feelings for such a long time. It feels so good to let it all out.

I missed you, East. you too, Sweetpea, FBY, Rustop, Erin, wakeupmom, cowgal, teardrop, finski and all other firecrackers!

[wakupmom]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Happy mothers day firecrackers!!

Darling East,your post made me cry.I am without my babes as they are off skiing with their dad.Yes what is it that they do not get the meaning of mothers day.I only hope that when they become parents themselfs will they truly understand.Its not that you want a pressie..just an acknowledgement.Well i am sending you a mothers day hug xx

Suk,love to you too,glad your back xx

A big hug to all.Hope your sunday is going great. xx

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Wakeupmom,
So sorry that I made you cry, and your hug is gratefully received!I am sending one tenfold to you........

My elder daughter studied psychology at school and yesterday told me that I was an avoidant personality.
She said that I did not bond with my mother (she had nervous breakdown when I was a tot,probably post-natal depression as it is called now) My father went into national service for a few years also.
In my fear of being abandoned I have pushed people away as a coping mechanism in fear of being hurt. causing she says the thing I feared most which is abandonment, circle eh? Easy-peasy said my daughter!!

So thinking about her diagnosis, my drowning emotions in wine and spirits will never help any more than temporarily, I have to let out my feelings to prevent the abandonment! I feel incredibly safe venting here, because to vent my real feelings will sometimes hurt the ones I love.
I sincerly apologise if I am picking at anyone elses scabs.

Sadly my intelligent daughter has no intention of having children or marrying (by choice) so although she is dealing with her bf three daughters I don't think the meaning will happen for her.

My other daughter seems hell bent on populating the planet,so I may see some justice you never know!

Eastx

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

East, it is good to vent. Especially to us.

I am sorry that you experienced what you did as a child. I am an avoidant personality too. (Thank your daughter for me for the diagnosis!) I also pushed people away as a coping mechanism. But I was afraid of being hurt by someone that I had trusted. Easy-peasy. Love the term.

You are right, wine and vodka make things easier, for the moment. But it masks what you need to deal with, what you need to face.

Last weekend, after the last call from my brother, I shredded every picture I had of him, his wife and two daughters. It felt so good.

I am off on an adventure. I'm going to Copley Place, in downtown Boston, and am going to spend some money on myself, buying some new clothes. Screw my brother who told me years ago that I was worthless, that he would kill me if I told my parents. Why did I believe him?

Venting is good, East. I LOVE TO VENT.

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Suki.
What I experienced as a child was no ones fault , my Mum had ,and still has a lot of sadness in her life My dad also had a family history of depression/suicides although he did not suffer with it himself.
I hate to think I push people away, I never thought I did, butthat action still does not stop any pain, So you are right, change the strategy.
Enjoy your adventure you deserve to, wish I could come with you shopping.....Ummmm Sweetpea wanted to come too. would'nt it be great!
I will be with you in spirit.
In answer to your question you were just a child as I was and send you the following words........


Twelve things to always remember and one thing to never forget

Your presence is a present to the world
You're unique and one of a kind
Your life can be what you want it to be
Take the days just one at a time

Count your blessings not your troubles
You'll make it through whatever comes along
Within you are so many answers
Understand have courage be strong

Realise that its never too late
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way
Have health hope and happiness
Take the time to wish upon a star
And don't ever forget
for even a day....
How very special you are.
-Collin McCarty


I'll be back-The Ventilator (AKA Eastx and ant East)

Hi Fby - miss you loads

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Morning Firecrackers

:lSuki so pleased to see you posting again we missed you. I am happy that the therapy is being of use to you because you have been through so much and you deserve to find some peace and happiness. East and I would love to be with you in spirit while you shop and spoil yourself - go for it

East I am sorry I was not around and here for you yesterday when you sent your first post:l but I was really pleased to then read on that your son had sent a text. As you say the angels must have been listening xx The whole purpose of MWO is to be able to say what we want so vent away because we will always be here for you. The twelve things to remember poem is so lovely thank you for sharing it with us xx

Wakupmom thank you for the mothers day hug. Yes I had a lovely day even though I didn't get to see my kids - had nice phone calls though

Amelia, betty boop, blondie, Bookmum, CaptJBean, Cheebs, Chief, Cindi, Cowgal, Croft, cuckoosnest83, debruce, Determinator, Doggygirl, Dowjbw, Elainey, Evergreen, exteacher, Ezekiel37, Feeling Fortunate, Finally RN, Finski, fjones, flutterby, gabby!go, Gator, Had12many, headless1, Hope365, indiamike57, Izzie, Janice , Janka, LauraAnn, Leebo, Livewire, Long Road, Lucy Van Pelt, Lou, LukaleeMattje, MDbiker, meditation mama, MissCheryl, Noelle, Paula, Rags, Raoul, Redgal, retteacher, Rosalind, Roz and sister, Rudemama, Rustop61, Sante, Slightlysuze, Sparkey77, Start over, Suki411, Teardrop, Veronica, Victory, Wakupmom, wonderworld, xEmx, 9 lives and anyone I may have missed I hope you all have a really good March and reach your respective goals

On a personal note February was not too bad for me but I am going to try even harder in march

Sending you all loads of love Sweetpea xxxxx :hug: