FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

[flutterby]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hello fireworkers,
Happy Thanksgiving to all on this side of the puddle. I'm still in the game but not feeling too chatty lately. Just wanted to check in and say hi. Hope to fill up on all good stuff today and leave no room for the beast.
Hugs to all,
Fby

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Good morning all

Sante, I could have written every word of your post myself. I have never liked the holidays, yesterday would have been my dad's birthday. I'm supposed to have dinner today with my moms sister and my three single cousins, not much fun, 5 single woman, two of my cousins don't talk to the third. They are going to a little county club where my parents belonged. Only good thing is that there will be no drinking.

Just don't feel like going. Never slept last night, listened to the cds. Did lots of soul-searching. I have been doing more drinking the last month than usual. But it's such a waste of time. Makes me feel horrible about myself. Skipped a therapist appointment yesterday (have been taking meds for my moods though). For what she charges me, I've been going since February, I would think that I would feel better about myself than I do.

My friend invited me up to her house for thanksgiving, with her Cuban mother, three crazy but fabulous kids, three even crazier dogs. Will be load, lots of laughs and great food.

this is the first thanksgiving since her husband died that she is not eating with her own sister and family and all of her crazy cuban aunts..

It will be a quick dinner. We talked last night, told her that I was not going to drink. She was supportive. After dinner will go for a walk, come back here and to laundry,paperwork, clean. Things I haven't done later.

Will listen to the cds and think of all of you, your successes, stories, support and slips and send my best wishes and blessings to all of you.

Finding MWO and this wonderful, inspiring, honest community is the best thing I have Done.

Checked my boothstars.com for my horoscope for:


Virgo (Aug. 23 ? Sept. 22)
Thursday, November 22, 2007
These are wonderfully exciting times despite appearances. An amazing life changing opportunity is sneaking up on you unannounced and without fanfare. Keep your senses highly tuned and alert. You are close to unearthing a treasure.

(Canadians can do great things in addition to hockey!)

Have a great AF day everyone. I plan to.:h :h :h

Eastender, how sad for your mom to have kept that inside of herself for so long. It must have been such a relief to discuss, share it with you. Your honesty is helping more yourself. :h You should be so proud of yourself for helping her.

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Suki411,
Its funny how we assume too much about one another, like I just thought my Mum was a killjoy but really she was covering up her hurt. Scared to talk.
I have always felt better being honest as long as I did not hurt anyone ( felt a fraud these last few years)
Talking to the folks on this website is like peeling away those 'covers' like skins on an onion( as Shrek would say.) without feeling so vulnerable and knowing the people reading can really understand.
You have a great thanksgiving (and all the folk across the pond!)


My daughter is a Virgo and the reading suits her as well, She has just started a new relationship and seems happy for the first time in a year (only 17 so a year is a long part of her life just now!)
Take care will be thinking of you all.

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Eastender

My mom called me one night several years before she died......I had been drinking with a friend and she flipped. I swear she could tell talking to me on the phone that I was even thinking of opening a bottle of wine.

She finally told me that her mom had a huge drinking problem. She never told us, kept it hidden from us. We (my sister, mom and me, my aunt and 3 cousins) used to go to my grandparents house every day after school,we were dropped off on saturday afternoon's so my parents could play golf, and went up every sunday for a family dinner.

It didn't bother me, my grandmother was one of the greatest people I've ever met. All of us cousins loved going up there, we had an amazing time. There were only two problems, we never developed friends outside of our cousins (and we very rarely see them anymore) and the main reason we went up there was to keep her from drinking until after 5 pm when we went home for dinner. But we didn't know that. Poor mum felt she had t hide it from us.

I too thought my mother was just a killjoy, but didn't realize what it must have been like to come home from grade school and find your mother drunk.

The last couple of years my mum still lived alone. She would call at anytime, such as 3 am, saying she couldn't breath. I never knew when I had to drive out. The first year after her death, I was consumed with selling her house, firing, suing her laywer, dealing with my bro. Now that most of it has been resolved, I think perhaps I've been drinking because my life seems so empty.

Went up to my friend's house for an early dinner. He ex-boyfriend (she started to date her highschool boyfriend six months after her husband died) showed up unannounced, she ahd her kids weren't happy. He is a HUGE drinker 4 or so bottles at night and then would verbally abuse her. It took her some time, but she finally asked him to move out. Before he arrived, I was talking with her and her kids, 15, 18 and 22, told them that I decided to stop drinking for a while, that I had been drinking too much. They were al so cool, said that they would all help me, came over for hugs etc. I only wish I could be as honest with my family.

I don't know who mentioned today taking an l-gut to cut down on cravings, but I took one before going up there. She and her kids knew I didn't want to drink, but he automatically poured a huge glass of wine and placed it in front of me. I looked at it and handed it back.
Nick, the 18 year old kicked me under the table and gave me a wink.:hug:
It's a start.

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Suki411

Good girl!


You must be so proud of yourself that you had the strength to say No!
and you had allies....the wink says it all!
Since I have been AF I also have felt lost somehow and I did make my drinking fill that hole. But as in my starting out post my dad (of all people) had said that alcohol was no longer my 'friend'. That was coming from someone who could also not stop at one!
Maybe your friends boyfriend was trying to sabotage your efforts..... Well you showed him!
I am so happy for you , you stay strong, will be thinking of you.

In a way your Mum's honesty is what is helping you now, she obviously loved all her family and showed her concern the only way she knew how, just as my Mum did. I know that now.
Take care of yourself xx

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

I found out this morning about Avatars!!

Hi Everyone

It is true you don't know what you don't know because no ever told you or you have never come across it before. I have been dead jealous of all your sign in pictures and never knew the meaning of the word Avatar. I have just checked it in the dictionary for the actual meaning and it says "The descent to earth and incarnation of a deity":egad: I still wouldn't have connected - am I thick or stupid or what!! Am I the only one who didn't realize the significance


I found it by accident when I was looking at things on the user CP and was in a click happy frame of mind. I am not that computer literate and I just thought you had imported the images so you live and learn on a daily basis.

Anyway enough about my lack of abilities

How is every one

I managed another AF day yesterday so only have 2 more Danger days to live through to continue my journey to 30 AF days

What I say is :boxer: the beast right off this planet

Eastender thank you so much for those lovely words but you are helping me and everyone else just as much as we are helping you :l

Rustop hope your day yesterday wasn't too hectic. The lead up to Christmas can be a bit much at times but enjoyable when it finally arrives

Flutterby hope thanksgiving went well for you and you managed to keep the beast at bay

Suki likewise I hope you managed to keep the beast at bay while you were enjoying yourself with that lovely Cuban family and their crazy dogs. L-glut has certainly worked for me so I hope it had the desired effect for you. I soooooo love dogs but haven't got any of my own. Keep thinking about getting one but they are such a tie when you have such a busy social life. Reading around the boards it is amazing just how many of us come from families with drinking problems which goes to reinforce what said in the MWO book. Well done for handing that drink back. It was lovely that Nick gave you a nudge under the table and a wink some 18 year olds wouldn't have the understanding to be so supportive.

Looking back I don't think I have been fair to some of my friends that are not big drinkers. I was forever pouring more drink for them because it didn't single me out as being the only one who wanted to have another. Being AF at the moment is bringing lots of things into perspective. Still they are my friends because they are still around - thank goodness

Anyway hope you have a lovely day.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone. Keep posting

Much love Sweetpea XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
:groupluv:

******************* Day 19 AF

[Suki411]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Sweetpea

Sweetpea, you couldn't have picked a better picture, the puppy looks exactly like one of my friend's dogs, Charlie, a Chavilier King Charles Spaniel (she actually has two), the most loving, happy dog. Wants to sit on your lap, kiss and hug, tail wags all the time. I feel so happy and loved being around them.

I did not stay AF yesterday, but am not beating myself up. Spent yesterday afternoon doing a lot of thinking and reading posts here. I decided to take a break of seeing my therapist. I realized that I feel worse about myself since I started seeing her and have definitely been drinking more. Anyway, never showed up for an appointment on wednesday, that combined with handing the glass of wine back at dinner yesterday made me feel stronger and happier about myself than usually. (Last time I saw her, told her I was having problems paying her, because she was so expensive and my insurance didn't cover her. she said don't worry, you'll be coming into some money soon. That really made me think and, frankly, p#$sed me off.)

Poured a small glass of wine last night. Took one sip and I thought why am I doing this, didn't even taste good. Put it down. Still sitting there.

For the first time in a long time I am looking forward to the weekend. Will get my supplements ready to stay consistent and be kind to myself.

Happy Friday!

love, s

[rustop61]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Good morning everyone

Well done Suki on handing the glass back that cant have been easy. You sound better in yourself so hopefully it will be onwards and upwards from here on.

Sweetpea, you are doing so good. Thanks for motivating the rest of us.

Everyone else have a great week-end.

Rustop

[happydog]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone,
Sweetpea it took me time to found out about avatars as well. Your not on your own. my dog looks just like your avatar. There is a thread just found out 2day called testbed may help with other things. 19days AF well done sweetpea and aslo Eastender 22day AF keep going. Suki, well done for refusing that drink good on you.
Sweetpea just make sure you have your sword beside for the next two days.
still trying to get back on track. may be sunday.
Have a good friday everyone.
Love
Teardrop.x

[finski]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hello all you lovely people

Hiya,
Been "hiding" again for a couple of days due to work.. Nice to read updates from all of you.
Everyone's doing so well dispite of minor lapses.. Don't dispair, the main thing is that you are trying and keep getting back on af's very quickly, which is more than anyone can ask for. Well done!!!

Myself, day 24 AF today. Still going strong. It just shows how much i really wanted to do this. But yet again, i repeat myself, i wouldn't have done this without you all!!!

I have to admit i'm looking forward to next weekend to ba able to have a drink and a bit of a party with my best friend. But i also am thinking of following sweetpeas december plan, 4 days af every week and hopefully moderating with the rest.. 21 units is about 3 and a bit bottles of wine for me, should really be more than enough, but we'll see. I will keep you posted how i get on.

Are you thinking of starting a new thread for December? Would be nice..

I'll catch up with you again sunday. Have a fab weekend and stay strong.
Not so long to go now.. We can all do it.

Lots of love,
Finski :l

[sweetpea]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

:h

Hi

Just a quick post to wish you all a great weekend. Have a house full this weekend so have not got much time at the moment but am thinking of you all

Keep strong and focused

:h Sweetpea :l xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[flutterby]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Sweetpea and all,
Staying strong here. Too busy to think (the key to my success!!)
Am having goosebumps in anticipation of Sweetpea's 30 day milestone!
Sweetpea-- in answer to your question (Am I thick, stupid or what?) I am sure you are neither. How many of us were avatar challenged when we first signed up? (Oh....Too many hands to count). Anyway -- you are truly an inspiration and that's what counts.
Later gators,
Fby

[cowgal]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

hi

Just wanted to check in for my first time on this thread, it is good reading, I feel as though I fit in perfectly, love what alot of you wrote!:thanks:

I wish you all a great day as I am off for a while, but I am really moved and happy I read this stuff, I needed it today.

love and hugs, :h

MA:l

[Eastender]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Hi Everyone,
Got through my dinner meeting daughters new beau, despite the fact that the wine bottles sat right beside me in an ice bucket!
I will do this ! 26 day AF today. Just get through weekend. Mr East just sat down with beer thought I would post and read some to take my mind off the wine in chiller.
Keep up the good work everybody.

[finski]

FIREWORKS - ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME FOR 30 DAYS AF

Oh dear..

Hi all,
Start of day 26 af now.. Just finished work and am sitting here drinking non alcoholic wine (rather nice tasting i must say). But i'm struggling.. i really really feel like having a some wine tonight just to wind down..Oh dear. I've just done 4 long night shifts, got just tonight off and then back to work for another 4 long nights. It's a daunting prospect.

Will i be counted as a failure if i give up today?? Just for the day, then complete the last 4 days??? Oh dear again. Not sure what to do. I think my biggest problem is, that there's no one else around to tell me not to think about it. I know you all are there to support me, but but.. Damn.

I will sign on later on after a bit of sleep.

Laters,
Finski :eeks: