For all those whosw spouses do not drink...or drink normally...

[isthisme]

My dh has been the one supplying my wine these past several years. He doesn't mind me drinking because it may give him a night of "fun"!!! So he's basically been the enabler. But he wasn't totally aware of the fact that during the day I may have polished off the night before's left over wine...gone back to the store to buy a replacement bottle...then I would have to drink that one down to make it look like it WAS the bottle from the night before...then hide the old bottle of wine. And dh would be none the wiser. But really I had drank a whole bottle of wine, then be ready for the "after work drink" with him. Like I hadn't had anything all day...Whew...that was hard....LOL.

Anyway, for the past few nights, dh has been saying, "Can we have a 'date' night tonight?" So I finally said to him..."I hope this doesn't include any alcohol... because I'm not drinking anything!" He was shocked! What a change!

Not sure I really meant it...but I said it, and it felt great to be somewhat in control of the drinking.

[Doggygirl]

For all those whosw spouses do not drink...or drink normally...

I can really relate to the games we play with ourselves and others to try to hide how much we are really drinking.

Mr. Doggy rarely drinks - maybe the odd beer 'with the boys' out of obligation now and then. Oh how I wish I could do that! But I can't... anyway, I have been VERY honest with him every step of the way about my view of my problem, and what I think I need to do about it, and what support I need from him. I am thankful that he has been wonderful. It's a huge relief to be totally honest, if that's possible in your situation.

I have to laugh only at myself here. Around my house if Mr. Doggy said "can we have a date night?" That totally equals "Can we have sex today pretty please?" (it does NOT mean that he's dying to take me to a movie and then see what the evening brings LOL) Don't know if that's EXACTLY what it means at your house.

DG
DG Day 2 AF after the fall

[weemelonhead]

For all those whosw spouses do not drink...or drink normally...

Good on you Isthisme....make that statement loud and proud girl....
The more you tell yourself you are not GOING to drink, and you do not WANT to drink...the more the message will get into that cerebellum!!!!
You're not missing anything..you are giving yourself the option of a good, healthy life...don't let 'drinking brain' tell you that this is boring!!!!!
It is also a good job that the MR does not drink...enjoy your sober dates dear.....you''l get a lot more out of them
A LOT more if they're anything like the ones that dogster describes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[isthisme]

For all those whosw spouses do not drink...or drink normally...

Date night means sex night at my house. That's why the Mr. was always bringing home a bottle of wine, which I would drink then have to replace.

The sex life has been seriously lacking since being AF, but it's all for a good cause. I just hope I can continue. It is kind of exhilarating. Because I know my husband thinks I'm out of control with the drinking. So it was good to send the message to him, that I AM in control of this. I'm taking one day at a time.

I told myself 30 days. Managed that. And my new goal is after my physical. I know I can do that because I'm getting my liver tested. After that, I'll set a new short goal, like Thanksgiving.

ODAT!!!

[jane jane]

For all those whosw spouses do not drink...or drink normally...

This will be my first post with (I hope) my newly-selected avatar and signature, so let's see what happens! Isthisme, you are a hoot and a half, child! We use the "date" euphemism around here, too. And, yes, even after 25 years of marriage, it's a LOT easier to get a "date" with me after some gooooood wine! Also, oh, me oh my, do I EVER know what you're talking about, buying the "replacement bottle" and drinking it down to the previous night's level. And gee, I thought I invented that stratagem! YOU STOLE MY IDEA! I think what you'll find here, to your relief, is that none of us are "originals"---we all do (or have done) the same tricks, in secret. Until it's not secret, and we realize that it's not funny or fun anymore. Join our club!

Best,

[beatle]

For all those whosw spouses do not drink...or drink normally...

ha ha, I share the same bottle-replacement secret. I've done it for years. I even try to check how the cork is placed, so as not to give myself away.

good on you isthisme. Sounds like you are well on your way!