How do you know?

[pepper]

I got to wondering as I read some posts...

Some of you say you know you have to go with total abstinence. How do you know? Did you try moderation and end up going off the deep end? It is my hope that I can be a moderate drinker someday, but I'm not sure how I will know.

Pepper

[Janice]

How do you know?

Yep, did 42 days then planned to moderate - did so for two weeks then the old habits crept back..... Now on day 38 - abstinence is the only way. Janicexx

[amashed]

How do you know?

I just found that I couldn't do a couple of drinks if the opportunity for more was available. I might try to moderate one day, but a bit scared that I'll slip back.

I think it depends on your situation. I was having health problems due to drinking and it had to stop. If you feel that you are drinking too much but maybe don't have a problem (I was like this for many years until it all got too much) then moderation is probably a fair goal.

[trixietrack]

How do you know?

I think that if you have been a long term heavy drinker. It will be difficult to moderate right away.
going AF for a long period of time and working on cravings and triggers is the first step.
you need to be able to control your intake, no matter what the situation.

It's a long journey.
but well worth it.

Trix

[Finding My Self]

How do you know?

I did well over 120 days before trying....first AF beer to check the taste didn't trigger. Then (and now), I tried 70mls of wine (white, as I used to drink red!) and soda...sort of weak wine cordial....I am happy with that. I don't want more and yet I am not having to say anything more than, "Please could I just put some water with that? - I like it that way."

But I don't like being pickled any more....nasty feeling...so maybe I'm just lucky!

BUT, my humble opinion is that AT LEAST 90-120 days is necessary before trying to moderate.

Good luck.
Love FMS xx

(Measure 70 mls! We've got used to these buckets instead of glasses!!! It was 70-100mls in 1975!)

[slightlysuze]

How do you know?

Oh FMS...you're SO right about the buckets! :H

Pepper...I think it may depend on your reasons for drinking, how attached to it you are, whether you have physical dependency or emotional dependency on it. The thing is....for some of us just one drink is never enough - it always leads on to more. I did 40 days AF then 'experimented' with drinking on a holiday. I didn't do bad, but I could feel the old ways creeping back so I've gone AF again...and am enjoying it. I may try an odd glass of something in the future, although I doubt it...too much to lose. As others have said, AF helps you to identify your triggers and danger points for drinking. So if you do plan to moderate in the future at least you will know what you're up against and can (hopefully) realise not to drink at a trigger point. eg if a crisis makes you reach for a drink DON'T - but you may be able to moderate drinking happily with a meal. Does that make sense?

A stint of AF is always a good idea....clears the head and the body so you can think things through clearly.


Suze x

[Justin Time]

How do you know?

Pepper,

Moderation has been working for me and my wife and a lot of people on the MWO program. It does appear to be a personal thing.

Good luck!

[beatle]

How do you know?

Well, some can do mods, and some can't. The general consensus is to be AF for a while before you decide, and then to take it slowly. If you feel yourself unable to control yourself even once, you probably should be an AF person. But that's just my opinion.

[cowgal]

How do you know?

trying

Personally I am trying to not drink Mon-Thurs at least, stayed AF last Sunday, so this week will be Sun-Thur at least................then I have been trying to learn how to moderate on weekends, have done pretty well so far, friends help along w/ this site.................being able to talk to someone at any time is a wonderful thing

Whatever your choice, as was said before, good luck in your journey!!

MA:l :h

[Accountable for Me]

How do you know?

For me.... I went quite a long time (many months) being AF and then tried to moderate late in the Summer. I could feel that I was one drink away from a binge. You know. If you feel you cannot control it after one or two, or if you are drinking more often than you had planned then you more than likely would need to be AF.

[living proof]

How do you know?

In my himble opinion, knowing whether or not you can be moderate, is something that will eventually become crystal clear to you. Either you can or you can't. It's that simple. You will know, your heart and gut will tell you whether or not it is reasonable for you. More often then not, there are games and boundaries we play and set for ourselves and we find we cannot play the game or stay within the boundary. Don't fret my pet, your mind/body/heart will reveal to you in time if alcohol is something that you can allow in your life in balanced increments or not.

For me, it's a not. But, I understand that's not true for everyone.

[satori]

How do you know?

When I first got here I started by moderating - quite successfully - down to a couple of drinks on to nights of the week.

I sipped majorly on one occasion - and even after gettin back to "good" modding again , the number of drinks started gradually increasing etc etc.

I decided to try AF for 30 days - just to see if I could.

That was 113 days ago.

After being AF for several weeks it became clear that AF = Freedom.

Moderating was almost as stressful - for me - as drinking uncontrolledly.
I was still preoccupied with alcohol almost every minute of the day.

Being AF takes that hassle all away.
It is now clear to me that AF is the way to go for me. I now rarely even think about alcohol - even in the evenings - my worst time - oh I still get major cravings now and then - but I have gained enough "distance" from alcohol now that I know I do not have to act on the cravings - they will just pass.

Just my thoughts - but I think you will just "know" all by yourself when the time comes.

Love

satori

xxx