This is my first time looking into quitting drinking and fortunately this is the first place I came across, it seems like a good program and everyone on the boards seems intelligent I'm 22.5 and have been drinking heavily since I was 13. The very first time I drank it was an entire bottle of Vodka at 13, went to the hospital, got pumped, and happened to come out alright. I resumed my drinking shortly after that, I began getting into trouble, all things drinking related, anywhere from public intoxication to a DUI a week after I was 17. I think my parents gave up on me since they never really saw it. That was the last although I have come close many times since then. This summer I passed out walking home and was forced into an ambulance ride, but they let me leave the hospital with no checkup because i was going berserk. I've probably spent tens of thousands of dollars on drinking, missed work, getting in trouble, etc. Up until a couple of months ago I kept it a weekend thing drinking upwards of 25 drinks a night just at night. If I didn't black out I considered it a good weekend. I would be hungover until Wednesday or Thursday it seemed, but I felt like if I didn't go out and party and get wasted i felt like I was missing out on something. I started doing Friday through Sunday non stop and every day during the week and I don't know why. I chose my screen name because thats what I feel like when I have a moment of clarity. I've lost my girlfriend who I was madly in love with and quit my job I've had since I was 17. I feel my health and intelligence have deteriorated and even eating seems painful sometimes. Everything feels pointless and I feel lost. I don't know what I want or what I'm doing. I know my problem is alcohol but I don't know why I can't resist it. I think I may head to the bookstore and buy the book.
Thank you for listening. I hope someone can make some sense out of it.
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