Supposed to be my second night...

[discovermarisa]

But I'm having a really hard time. Dinner's in the oven, kids are watching a movie, all my night time chores are done...and I'm pacing the house telling myself NOT to go the store. But it sure does sound good right now.

[universal]

Supposed to be my second night...

Try to find something else to keep your mind occupied - you can do it!

[Preciouspinot]

Supposed to be my second night...

Hang in there Marisa!!

[go2goal]

Supposed to be my second night...

discovermarisa;224007 wrote: But I'm having a really hard time. Dinner's in the oven, kids are watching a movie, all my night time chores are done...and I'm pacing the house telling myself NOT to go the store. But it sure does sound good right now.

Hi Discover -

I just copied my earlier post here because I too was struggling with getting the bottle out when I usually do at night (dinner time)........thought you could see there are others right in your boat. Hang in there with me......Sorry if this is too long.

Couldn't get here til now and being that I'm just only Day 4, its been a challenge. I thought I was all "just do it" and "wow, this is pretty easy' til this Day4. It was not a horrible day, pretty usual, but constant little things tugging & pulling on me to where I was thinking that that Chardonnay or Pinot in my cupboard might not sit unopend tonite.

Day 4 and I almost didn't make it, but I think I'm past it. Just couldn't find any 'Peace" all day. Started at 7 AM struggling getting my son & all his stuff (backpacks, guitars, basketball bag) out the door - never on time - always a couple minutes late. Then work form me with constant sidetracks, so that I never could 'gather' myself. Finally at 6:30 Pm I am in the car waiting for my son after his piano lesson and I have 5 minutes. I am REALLY contemplating that wine - how else can I find some peace when I get home and have all that there? Dinner, dishes, laundry.....when do I do Pilates, ride my bike - the things i know I need to survive. Its a constant demonand (notice this typo - meant to be demand, but its demon) from one thing to the next.

AT least there is a revelation with this day - this feeling, whatever it is, is one main reason that I go for the wine - a chance to sit and enjoy the sweet nectar and gather myself to stop, to slow down, to just be. I began thinking, "Did I decide I would NEVER drink wine again? I never said that....I can just have some wine tonite, people all over the world have wine at night....(hehe)"

But I am knowing I would have to chuck these 4 days - I couldn't get them back. I am still not sure I need or want to stop FOREVER, but I really don't want to give in...yet...it will seems like failure, even though I haven't really defined the goal yet. I KNOW YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT - its so confusing.

But here I am, I snuck away behind a door - I have 15 minutes before the next demand and I am sipping some Lemon tea with honey and getting this down, out, off.....

SO I'm still with you AFers and I'm closing in on DAY 4 - PHEW! Seems I read somewhere that 4-5 can be a rough bridge, but a bridge - to another side. I don't know what that is, but I'm going there.

Rambling again,
G2G

[discovermarisa]

Supposed to be my second night...

yes, I just fixed myself some tea. Right after I guzzled about a gallon of water. I need something to fill the hole, ya know.

I had such hope this time. I guess I always do. But man it's hard. Just trying to get through the night, then I can go to sleep. You can't drink when you sleep, right?:sigh:

[iluvdesert]

Supposed to be my second night...

You are funny Marisa! This time of the night is always so hard. Early evening. If I can get thru it tonight you can! Deal? I am eating a big bowl of fruit with some yogurt while hubby is outside bbqing and drinking beer. I used to always join him but I would hang out inside and putz around drink tequila till I was too buzzed to even remember eating dinner! Really a stupid habit I got into. Man I wish I knew how to pace. That would solve all my problems. Anyway, hope you're doing better by now and have made it thru the evening! Good luck! I only started this journey 10 days ago and it's still so tough but so rewarding when I wake up in the morning knowing I made it through one more night!

[Cheech66]

Supposed to be my second night...

Marisa,

I am also on day 2 and am beat really tired but cant seem to sleep!! All I know is that I am here on MWO and really feel more at ease that I am not the only one!! Drop a line if you want someone to bounce stuff off of. I am here for a bit longer and will check back tomm. Good luck remember almost 2 days in you can do it, I will at least guarantee you I will go 2 days AF!!

Cheech66

[happydog]

Supposed to be my second night...

Hi marisa
I'm on day12 AF and it has been hard. Always starting again on and of. My first week i was really tired during the day so i would go to bed at 8oclock so i would not think about drinking. i would make sure i would have a warm drink before bedtime to calm the nerves.
I still do think about drinking but it does get that little bit easier each day at a time.
wishing you all the best of luck.
love
Teardrop.x

[Cashregister]

Supposed to be my second night...

Hi Marisa,

You are doing really well. Distraction is the best thing - do you have a good dvd or something you could watch, or do you have time for a nice bath b4 bed, or a good book to read?

Keep drinking that water! I used to drink chilled water with bedford's lime cordial in a wine glass - helped break the "habit" side of things.

Good luck and have a lovely sleep (you never really sleep properly with alcohol in your system so enjoy).

Cashy

[trixietrack]

Supposed to be my second night...

I drink mint and lemongrass tea. it's amazing how much of that I can put down