Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

[rustop61]

Good morning everyone

Sorry I did not get to post yesterday as I spent the whole day at the hospital with my cousin. She's here with me now and I have to go get her breakfast so this is a quick hello. Managed to get my walk in with the doggies and that really sets me up for the day.

Well done Taking Control, Day 19 thats wonderful. I'm snapping at your heels as I am on Day 17.

Cowgirl stay strong we are all there for you.

A big welcome to all the newer newbies Pepper, Universal, Kanga.

Talk later


Rustop

[cowgal]

Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

good morning

I had a rough night last night, drank, feel like I cannot stop, that is my coping mechanism lately, but I know I can stop when I need to...............gotta go, they are turning my computer off:h

[cowgal]

Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

back up

The IT guy kicked me off the computer, don't know why, it was the entire office..........BUT
things are becoming clearer to me now that I will really have a rough time through this divorce thing..........Am I being wrong in wanting the house??? I don't think I could buy a house on my own, not w/ acreage, i really need to keep my horses, and the kids DEFINITELY want to be w/ me, so a house would be necessary for us........I think I will go off the deep end if he does anything more to take away my security, it is my fault for depending on him for everything in my life, I have NOOOOOOO clue what we even pay for our bills, he insisted on taking care of that years ago, so I am sooooooooooo scared that I won't make it on my own!?!? I feel so strong sometimes, but he shoots my confidence right down w/ some of his comments, and blows my self esteem, calls me ugly, fat, useless, etc................I need to get out, but I know it will be rough, will need to take a loan to just pay for the lawyer!!

love you all, thanks for letting me get that out:thanks:

MA:h :h

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

Good morning Rustop and Cowgal. Here I am again, dusting off my britches in the Fugly Green Suit. I'm trying to look at the bright side which is that for November, I'm roughly 50% AF which is a WHOLE lot better than I was prior to July of this year. Baby steps. I am NOT going to drink today - I don't give a rat's behind WHAT happens...good, bad or indifferent that will make me start thinkin' of drinkin'.

Rustop, obviously I've got catching up to do but I'm sorry to hear that your cousin is (was?) in the hospital. Hope that is all going OK for you.

Cowgal, I'm sure it is very difficult to get AL under control especially while you are going through what you are going through. Have you talked to a divorce lawyer at all yet? I would suggest at least getting out there for an initial consultation if you haven't. It will probably help you a lot just to have some idea of what lies ahead, and see what it will take to get someone on YOUR side fighting for YOUR rights (and your kids) since it sounds like hubby is ....well...I won't say what I'm thinking.

Anyway, I hope everyone meets their goals today!

DG
AF for today!

[meditation mama]

Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

Cowgirl~

Your posts are so emotional and I wish I could just scoop you up and take care of all your problems! Thus, I cannot, but I can say that it sounds like you are definatley doing the right thing. You absolutely deserve the house and the kids. I can tell how caring and loving you are. Once that negative aspect is gone from your life, everything will become easier. I know it seems like a lot right now, but trust me, I know where you are coming from. I threw my little girls dad out when she was 2 years old and lived in a town that I moved to just for him - all his friends. I knew no one. BUT, once he was gone, life settled down. I was able to quiestly sit and pay bills on the kitchen table in the mornings over coffee, slowely make sense of everything, spend more time with my daughter, and most importantly, there was no screaming, no alcohol, no negativity. We were fighting )the last time), and she was only two, but I remember her screaming at us - "STOP IT".. that was my last straw.

It gets better - so much better. Hold onto that.

Take care of your self, your kids and it will all settle into place. Don't let him get you russled, try not to drink, try to keep your head through this. it is going to be a bump, but then it will be over.

Thinking of you.

MM

[universal]

Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

MM you are so right - cowgal I am glad you are going to the lawyer next Tuesday - you will find out more about your options and I hope that will give you some clarity on where you can go and what you can do with your future. I've been through the divorce as well and had to start over in a new town with no friends, no family and a 3 month old child - it was rough but I made it - I have faith that you will make it to. You have family here on the boards and we will all be with you through this rough period in your life.

Love you all guys - here's to a great AF day for us all.

[Bettelove]

Newbies in need ODAT- Thursday

Cowgirl hand in there you can make it.