:new: I just found out about this program today by stumbling on it online. I recognize myself in so many people's stories ... I function well day-to-day but I have grown increasingly tired of alcohol ruling my life. Also, therapists have suggested AA but I just CANNOT seem to get myself to a meeting and now I am comforted that I am not the only one. I'm an intensely private person, and shy, and although I have planned time after time to go, I don't .. now finding out about this program gives me new hope.
NO ONE knows about my problem .. no one at all. I drink wine every night. I want to be healthy again, I want to get rid of some of the poundage I put on through this. What's a bit different about me is I didn't really have a problem until I was in my late 30s. Now it's seven years later. During that time, I went through an absolutely horrible divorce (my drinking was not the main factor, although certainly a huge contributor) and now I live alone. I have no kids, and I think the booze somehow keeps me company. very pathetic and sad I know !!
My main question, just starting out, is if anyone manages to do this without the Topamax??? I am already taking two psychotropic drugs, Zoloft, which I've been taking for years (yes, I do understand that I'm counteracting my antidepressant with a depressant when I drink), and for the past few months, Clonazepam, a supposedly nonaddictive anti-anxiety drug. I JUST saw my psychiatrist a few days ago to assess my progress. Of course, I have completely lied to him; when he perscribed the new drug, it was to help with terrible anxiety (I was unemployed) and when it seemed to work for me, I planned to have it help me come off the booze. (I did admit to him in my first visit about the binging.) In follow-up visits I have told him I don't drink anymore ... god, I know other people lie to their doctors, but I'm ashamed ... I just don't want to go back to him and tell him I've lied all these months and ask for yet another drug.
Anyway, I'm being very long-winded. but i'm wondering if the Topamax (not sure if I have the name right) is essential. I have stopped drinking several times before. And each time,the reason I go back is not the craving, I don't think, but in part just wanting to fill up that empty feeling with my familiar routine. It's pathetic, I know, and i know I need to get out more and fill up my time, but I've gotten into this awful rut.
If anyone has any helpful words, I would love it ..
NO ONE knows about my problem .. no one at all. I drink wine every night. I want to be healthy again, I want to get rid of some of the poundage I put on through this. What's a bit different about me is I didn't really have a problem until I was in my late 30s. Now it's seven years later. During that time, I went through an absolutely horrible divorce (my drinking was not the main factor, although certainly a huge contributor) and now I live alone. I have no kids, and I think the booze somehow keeps me company. very pathetic and sad I know !!
My main question, just starting out, is if anyone manages to do this without the Topamax??? I am already taking two psychotropic drugs, Zoloft, which I've been taking for years (yes, I do understand that I'm counteracting my antidepressant with a depressant when I drink), and for the past few months, Clonazepam, a supposedly nonaddictive anti-anxiety drug. I JUST saw my psychiatrist a few days ago to assess my progress. Of course, I have completely lied to him; when he perscribed the new drug, it was to help with terrible anxiety (I was unemployed) and when it seemed to work for me, I planned to have it help me come off the booze. (I did admit to him in my first visit about the binging.) In follow-up visits I have told him I don't drink anymore ... god, I know other people lie to their doctors, but I'm ashamed ... I just don't want to go back to him and tell him I've lied all these months and ask for yet another drug.
Anyway, I'm being very long-winded. but i'm wondering if the Topamax (not sure if I have the name right) is essential. I have stopped drinking several times before. And each time,the reason I go back is not the craving, I don't think, but in part just wanting to fill up that empty feeling with my familiar routine. It's pathetic, I know, and i know I need to get out more and fill up my time, but I've gotten into this awful rut.
If anyone has any helpful words, I would love it ..
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