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    Hellloooo!

    This is my first entry so please indulge me. I feel so lucky to have found this site. I have so much to say and don't know where to start.
    As briefly as I can I tell you how I got here. Here's my story.

    My drinking didn't really get out of control until my late 20's. I grew up in Europe so the idea that you could possibly have a problem didn't occur to you unless you lost your job, family and were homeless. None of that happened to me. In fact the opposite. I was living my life, had a son and was working my way up the ladder. I was one of those who just became funnier as she consumed. Unfortunately as time went on I began getting sloppy, taking risks driving not to mention loosing inhibitions. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night having huge anxiety attacks or heart palpitations and skipped beats.
    I had a period of abstinence due to pregnancy, breast feeding, close to 2 yrs but then it gradually started escalating. I decided I needed help. I went to AA which was probably the hardest thing that I've ever done. Not because I had to admit or confess about my problem but because it just wasn't anonymous enough for me.....you see, I'm a RN who's specialty is Emergency Medicine. I never wanted to meet anyone that would show up at the local ER wondering "Did she have a drink today?" Know what I mean?
    Anyway, I did manage to stop drinking for 6 mths. That was 3 years ago now. I'm not as bad as I was, and truthfully I don;t know if I could ever go back to that place, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with it everyday and still slip up.
    I have pretty much changed my life in terms of who I hang out with and what my triggers are. I have not decided if I will be without completely or if I will be able to "control" my consumption and be a social drinker. We'll see. Being without doesn't scare me. But being european, its hard to imagine being social without it...........gotta work on that one. At least here saying "no" is ok.

    I could keep going forever now that I have an ear......I've waited so long for this. Until next time.

    #2
    Hellloooo!

    :welcome: Finally RN, glad you found the site. I'm relatively new here < 2 months and only working on 1 month AF but I have met a lot of wonderful, supportive people on this site as I am sure you will. Keep posting and read through the threads. Good luck, cuckoo.

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      #3
      Hellloooo!

      Welcome RN!!! I'm interested in your perspective as a European. I'm American but lived in Europe for two years. It seemed that the Europeans (at least, the Germans, French and Italians) had such a better relationship with alcohol than Americans .. just having it with meals, drinking socially etc. ... whereas here in the States, we have such messed-up ideas about alcohol (Prohibition era, etc.) and it's normal to spend your late teens and college years getting obnoxiously drunk as often as possible. Well, like you I could keep going forever .. I have kept my "secret" for so long and it's a relief to speak to others ..
      :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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        #4
        Hellloooo!

        Thanks for the encouragement. I know this website is going to be a lifesaver for me. Just being able to communicate on this level is huge.

        So, Dexterhead, in answer to your question. I lived in Europe from age 11 to 24 so my attitude to drinking was pretty much formed over there. I did my nurses training in a hospital that had a pub on the hospital premises!!!!! We use to join the MD's when we weren't too busy, have pint and go back to work. Sleeping pills were glasses of sherry for the little old ladies. Obviously a different attitude and culture. My drinking didn't escalate until I came to the US. Why? I'm not sure. My mother served me my first drink at 13, again, for all those out there horrified by my entry, different attitude, different culture.

        One of the things I began to wonder was if the "rat race has contributed to my abuse. Nurses are notorious partiers (sp?) but in Europe the balance of life is so completely different. 50 % work, 50% play, where as over here it seems to be really out of balance. More of 80-90% to 10? Tell me if you think I'm wrong. My theory is that because we work so hard and down time is so little, we, I, need immediate gratification, hence abuse be it alcohol or your drug of choice. Being able to unwind and only having a couple of hours in the evening to do it..............as I said, a theory only but I'd be interested to see if others feel the same.
        Also, family life is key over there. Dinner time very important. No such thing as everyone on different schedules eating at different times. You wait. I think that contributes to a security that we've lost over here.......Again, just my thoughts and opinions. I have only my own experience to go by.......All of you out there, feel free to tell me if you think I'm full of crap.
        To be continued.................

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          #5
          Hellloooo!

          Thanks

          cuckoosnest83;225712 wrote: :welcome: Finally RN, glad you found the site. I'm relatively new here < 2 months and only working on 1 month AF but I have met a lot of wonderful, supportive people on this site as I am sure you will. Keep posting and read through the threads. Good luck, cuckoo.
          Ok, what does AF mean?

          I'm so happy to have found this support. I know I will do well. Thanks for the encouragement:thanks: :thanks:

          Comment


            #6
            Hellloooo!

            Welcome to this site FinallyRN! Yes, you are right, it is nice to have an "ear" and be able to open up your worries, anxieties etc... without the worry of anyone knowing who you are! I am sure you will gain from finding MWO ...as I have. Having alcohol problems can be embarressing...it shouldnt be, but it can be. So let yourself go here!!!!!

            all the very best to you. Bella xxxx

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              #7
              Hellloooo!

              Hi RN and Welcome, AF is alcohol free...

              This is a great place to help you beat The Beast. Read, post, go to chat. There are plenty of great people who are ready to support you..

              Don

              Comment


                #8
                Hellloooo!

                Hi RN and welcome. I'm fairly new here also. I came here in the spring and stopped drinking for a while and started again and stopped coming to this site and am back now.

                I'm also from Europe and where I'm from the drinking was very different than here. People drank more, faster and got a lot drunker where I came from. Unfortunately I've not been able to moderate my drinking, but I've been trying and I'm still trying.

                I went to AA in my country and stopped drinking for 5 years. I don't like the AA here, I don't fit in at all and feel very uncomfortable. I also don't like the concept of the 'I"m an alcoholic and I am powerless" mantra. I believe that I do have power to make the right choices for myself. I don't always do it, but the choice is always mine to take that drink or not.

                I quit smoking 6 months ago. I still get cravings but I just enjoy observing the craving come and go. I don't need to act on it. I'm intending to tackle my alcohol addiction the same way. Just watch the craving as it comes and feel proud of the fact that I am in control. I have the choice to either take the drink or not. If I don't I'll feel so much better the next day, just like with the cigarettes. I'm always so happy that I don't give into the craving. A craving is just a craving, it comes and goes and it comes less and less the less energy you give it.

                Sorry for my rambling. I'm just starting out here again and it's not that easy for me all the time, I wish it were. But when I remind myself of these things it does make it easier. I wish you luck. I'm going for moderation at least until the end of the year, then I'm going AF. I'm going to be AF today.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hellloooo!

                  I love what you wrote, Adaptable. Thank-you. I like your attitude on how you handle your cravings.........Its your choice. You can either give into it or you can take control of it. You're in charge here. I know this is true and have even said it to myself but I didn't look at it that way. HE was not going to win. I'm going to be stronger than the craving. Its me against HIM. As you said the whole "giving in" admitting you are powerless from AA was something I just didn't like.
                  Thanks. I feel empowered.........Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Remember that one?
                  I too will continue with moderation until the New Year. I would love to join you and anyone taking on the AF after that. I'm ready.

                  RN

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