Time Start Over!

[frustrated]

As my title states, " Time to Start Over"....

This my story about becomin friends with booze.....

Im 24 yrs old, about to turn 25 on 6 Jan 2008, and my life should be great, but it is'nt, due to the fact that i suffer with Bipolar disorder and drink....I started drinking at the age of 18, was always against the stuff, my mom drinks heavely and my dad was a alcholic, so i remember all the fights and unhappiness while growing up...:

After i matriculated, i went to Sun City with my best friend and mom....i was always shy around men, so when on a night out i was invited over for a "drink" with this hottie...i agreed to accept the offer...and i enjoyed the relaxing affect it had on me...it made me feel good...so at the end of that year i poloshed off my 1st bottle of Amarula, and loved the way i became..confident, attractive and full of fun....

I know that i am a alcholic, as when i get the chance to drink i can't say no after one drink...i just start craving more and more, till im unable to drive safely, pass out in strange places, my memory bombs out on me, and i suffer for days on end to recover, as i also take medication for my disorder....i know it's running my life, i've lost so many friends due to my behaviour while drinking, as i become aggressive, and talk the biggest load of sh1t....

So many times after my night of binging, i vow never to drink again...but as the weekend draws closer, i start all over again...maybe i enjoy the guilt after it, so that i can run myself down further, as i have a low self esteem....i wish i could stop...i have been lucky that i have'nt been raped or killed yet...it's not easy....

Thus i have joined this site to meet people in the same situation as me....i need a support group...i want to stop this abuse to my mind and body....

[nancy]

Time Start Over!

welcome!

Hi there

I think a lot of people will relate to your story. If you do a search for bipolar, you can read accounts from people who have struggled with that illness plus drinking (self-medication?).

You seem to have a strong desire to change and while things look grim now, you will be exposed to so many stories, advice and tools, that there is a chance you will start to get better.

You don't want to hurt yourself anymore, that is so clear.

take care and I hope to see you around the boards.:welcome:

[Victory]

Time Start Over!

Well done for the first step

Hi frustrated,
:welcome:
Have no experience with bi-polar, but sadly I am a very experienced drunk. Joined this site about 5 days ago and find it really helpful. There is really only one way and that is AF, getting there is easy but staying there is a challenge,:sigh:
This site will really help. It?s great you have realised so young, as such will probably short cut the 20 or more years of hating and shaming yourself that some of us have experienced. Please keep reading everyone?s stories and you will see that you are not alone. Well done for being brave enough to seek help.
:goodjob:

[maxman]

Time Start Over!

youve come to the right place, welcome! my brother had bi polar, so I can relate a bit what youre going through, have a crack at it , read someof our posts and dont be scared to ask any questions.

good luck

maxman

[Guest]

Time Start Over!

Hi frustrated and welcome.

I`m sorry that I too know very little of Bipolar. However, there are several sufferers on the site who will be able to give you advice as regards your condition.

It was almost painful to read your post........you are so very young......you MUST get a grip of your drinking now.........don`t end up like many of us who have wasted entire decades of our lives on the drink. And yes, as you are aware, drinking until you black out, especially in strange places puts you in a very precarious position.......as you said.......anything could happen to you.

I look back on my own drunken life, especially nights when I was so pissed that I would go home with a guy I`d just met.........crazy behaviour.......I could so easily have ended up cut up in bits........horrid, but a very true possibility of what could have happened to me on any of those nights. But!!!!, thankfully nothing untoward happened to me and to date, thankfully, nothing untoward has happened to you. That says that "someone" has been looking out for us........take that as a sign to muster the strength to tackle the booze.

It`s anything but easy to quit, but we`re all here for you. You are so young........please do not waste your life. Drink is a complete and utter waste in every respect.

Wishing you love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[hart]

Time Start Over!

Hi Frustrated. yup ur story is familiar. I do have bipolarism, and yes drinking is one of the things I started to self-medicate. My mom was an alcoholic w/bi-polarism herself. Many times tried to commit suicide when I was young, she and me.

You are very smart to tackle this thing NOW and not wait twenty years.


We both can do this. :welcome: :l