Starting out

[PAMN]

Starting out

Thanks Cheech

Good advice, thank you!

I am trying to understand my "triggers." I am finding them to be just about anything! Bad day at work, good day at work. Holidays. Kids doing well, kids doing not so well (I have two teen-age step-daughters, 16 and 18). Boredom (this is a big one).

My hubby and I spent all day yesterday shopping and decorating the house for the holidays - I sat on the front porch with a cup of hot chocolate rather than my usual glass of wine while he put up lights; surprisingly, it was ok!

I've made it through three social events this first week of sobriety and it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be. The first was my husband's ex-wife's wedding reception (you would think I could not have made it through THAT without a drink, eh?). The second was dinner with 10 friends - eveyrone drank wine but me, and one person even asked if I was pregnant because they have never known me not to drink; my husband came to the rescue and we made up some anxiety story and being on medication due to high stress (another story for another time). The third one was Thanksgiving, but since no one was drinking and there were tons of kids there, it wasn't bad at all.

Thanks again for the advice. I'm taking it one day at a time - the Campral seems to be helping - has anyone else tried Campral?

[USMgirl]

Starting out

dexterhead;226233 wrote: welcome Shelly! I am just starting out, like you. I, unfortunately, am a daily drinker, but I pretty much am always functional the next day, although often feeling like crap ... Maybe that has made it worse, allowed me to keep doing this self-destructive stuff. I still haven't gone AF (alchohol free) but I think with the support here I am going to try it this week.

Yes, log in and read every day, it is SO helpful. Until I found this site just days ago, I had no idea there were so many people like me with this secret problem !! Yes, and I also have been feeling so much shame for so long. so a godsend to find a place where I can get feedback from others with the same problem!!!!

dexterhead, after reading many posts...I chose to reply to you and make it my very first post...I relate to what you've written...I drink everyday, am able to function well, feel like crap but continue to self-destruct. I've know for a long time (at least 7 years) that I drink too much. I worry ALL THE TIME about what I've done to my liver...I'm a girl, and small, but out drink most men. Ugh. Anyway, I'm still drinking but want so bad to "make a plan to stop!" We have plans for the week-end (tonight) that will include drinking.....
What do you think???? Do we "set a date" like smokers do????
Advice please.....I'm so ready.

[wakupmom]

Starting out

Welcome USMgirl!
Well done for making that first move.All i can say is that this is agreat place to start,just read,read,post,read.Keep coming back.Today is as good as any to stop,have you got the book,supps they really do help xx

[pannakrysia]

Starting out

numbness

Hi all,

glad to have found this site (today). won't bore you with details, but want to know if anyone has experienced the numbness that I have. it's happened to me three times now in the past six months, and the latest one happened yesterday morning. it always happened as i was driving my car and my head & body completely started feeling strange... almost out of body experience and I had to slap myself and start chanting out loud to make it stop! the episode seemed to last forever... slapping made it stop, but then it would come back again.

i feel crazy. am guessing this is from the excessive amount of drinking. anyone else have this type of reaction?

panna

[USMgirl]

Starting out

wakupmom;228237 wrote: Welcome USMgirl!
Well done for making that first move.All i can say is that this is agreat place to start,just read,read,post,read.Keep coming back.Today is as good as any to stop,have you got the book,supps they really do help xx

I'm ordering the supps today....just feel good having done "something." Day in/Day out...it's always the same. I need something to be different...thanks for the welcome.
:thanks:

[PAMN]

Starting out

Pannakrysia, I have never had the numbness, but have had heart palpatations and shortness of breath. Not sure on your age, how long you've been drinking and how much, but I urge you to see a doctor ASAP and get a physical. My physical symptons scared the you-know-what out of me. Be 100% honest with your doctor about how much and how often you drink. Ask about Topamax or Campral or what he/she may recommend if you haven't started anything yet. Don't put this off - your health is nothing to play with!!

[USMgirl]

Starting out

OK...so I'm planning on seeing my doc tomorrow.....I think I'm just gonna be honest with him and say "doc, I need some meds to help me control my drinking..I drink too much." I'm gonna ask for Topa and will have some research with me when I see him...
I'm so tired of the struggle!!! But yesterday, as I was counting the number of days that my husband has not had a cigarette ( a HUGE thing for him)....it occured to me that if I worried about my liver the way I do about his lungs......I wouldn't have a problem....I would die if he were to get sick from lung cancer....why can't I put that same idea into my brain about ME????? I'm a smart girl.....no ALOT about health and wellness.....this is just CRAZY! How did I get to this point? Heck, I didn't even drink until I was 32 years old!#%!
:damn:

[PAMN]

Starting out

USMgirl, what triggered your drinking at 32?

[USMgirl]

Starting out

PAMN;228662 wrote: USMgirl, what triggered your drinking at 32?

I guess I thought I was finally old enough to handle it.....I drank a little as a teen-ager but had a child at 16 (my only) and just "made the decision" to raise him in an abstinent household. My father died at 50, complications of alcohol and drugs and my siblings are all sick....considering the family history, I did pretty good getting that far! HA! I'm glad I can smile about that!
I had just graduated college and coming out into a much more wordly environment than I had been in with my marriage and such. It made me feel good..... and I just never stopped.....boy, could that bring up a real good discussion about genetics?????
I will not be turning 52 like this....

[slightlysuze]

Starting out

Hi Everyone on this thread.....welcome....you've found a great place for helpful, non-judgemental support.

From reading all your posts I would say that the most important thing is to think through why you drink and what the outcome is. Identifying your triggers is a must.....is it anxiety? feeling low? feeling high? family? job? boredom? fear of loss? grief? the list is endless and most of us have several we could say yes to! So the process is that the trigger happens and you deal with it by drinking alcohol. What happens then? You drink and the next day you feel?.....ill, dehydrated, headache, fat (!), miserable, defeated etc but you mostly cope with the day ahead. Then you repeat the cycle again the next night or so. Be honest.....has the alcohol helped whatever the problem was, in any way at all? Is the family situation better or worse or no change? is the the job better or worse or no change? are you still bored? fearful? depressed? My guess is that the answer is you haven't even started to deal with the problems and you still feel like sh*t! Am I right?

I repeated this ridiculous cycle for many years, until I came to MWO. Finally, I realised that I was medicating problems with alcohol.....but the problems were still there and I had added bad health to the equation too. How stupid is that? I am now learning to deal with life without using alcohol.......it was hard at first.....but the amazing thing is that I am dealing with those issues and making progress! and I feel better about myself than I have for years!

So....my advice is....be honest with yourself, think about and make an honest inventory of what 'makes' you want to drink, make a plan to try some AF days and keep coming here for support. So what if you fail at first? So what if you fail loads of times? We've all done that.....BUT...if you persist you will make progress.

Now, think about it.....what do you want out of your life? And how are you going to get alcohol under control so that it doesn't control your life?

Good Luck.....stay close!

Suze xx

[FinallyRN]

Starting out

Identifying the triggers is a must, and while you are making that inventory list, these are some things that I've learned to help with cravings.
I went to AA a few years back and they said, never get hungry, never get thirsty, and never get bored.......I found that to be true, that and I use to keep M&M's on hand for the sugar lows.
I have been here for about a week now. You all have given me inspiration. I'm ready to go AF ODAT. I'll keep you posted

[USMgirl]

Starting out

One day down

My husband just asked me what I did today....he was gone most of the day......I said "stayed sober."""" I feel ok, just probably won't sleep tonight. Sometimes I can tell early in the evening. That means crappy sleep and feeling bad tomorrow...but I won't be in a fog....I hope I feel like going to the gym tomorrow....my usual evening is coming home, drinking while we cook and then bed. I want to try and replace some of that behavior and pattern.
Best wishes to all. I've spent most of my day just resting and reading posts on here. I'm so glad I found this site......:armsaround:

[sad in beijing]

Starting out

Swami;227047 wrote: Shelly,

Yes, I do the same thing quite frequently. If I eat before drinking I often either will not drink or will have one beer. If I don't eat prior to drinking I binge.

In fact, in my situation...I would say eating is the single most critical thing for me and moderation.

-Swami

This seems like such an obvious point, EVERY manual about responsible drinking advises not drinking on an empty stomach, but for me it is absolutely one of the main reasons I end up out of control. This is a weight issue for me too- dieting and not wanting to eat to much (or no-carbs!) then drinking just a glass or two of wine that goes straight to your head, and gets you right to that point where you can't make the right decision anymore. I need to remember- eating= good.

[2nd chance]

Starting out

I also started out one or two nights a week, and I couldn't function the next day either. I dont know when that all changed but like Dexter I became a "functionable" drinker.
I call it a "learned behavior" I had to learn how to drink everyday and still function the next. I got really good at it too. You could say that I became a professional drinker.
I have been A/F for 15 days now, I feel great and I tell myself that I learned how to become an everyday drinker, now I have to learn how not to drink everyday.

Good Luck this is a great site