1st day ...again

[discovermarisa]

This weekend I woke up each morning and started drinking. I managed to get the house clean and the laundry done. I took my kids on a bike ride. My husband doesn't think that my problem is all that bad, but I am dying inside.

I just want it to end before it gets worse. Which it has progressively. I haven't lost a job or had too many problems with my husband or family. No jail time from drinking. But how long until it all crashes down.

I read some of the posts and think why haven't these things happened to me yet?

I am lucky so far.

Anyway, my mom is coming to town with my sisters for Thankgiving. My mom has been 12+ years sober. So Ireally try to 'Cut Down'

Advice I get from my closest people (family, friends) are "Well drink a beer you'll feel better." My kids don't ever say anything.

So I am doing this for me. Trying again on day one. We'll see how it goes.

[Victory]

1st day ...again

Dont give in and never give up

Discovermarisa, I read your post for Juney and responded to you there. RE: the advice of so-called friends and your family of, ?drink a beer you?ll feel better? is just plain ignorant on their part and must be ignored. Doesn?t matter how many day 1?s we have as long as we never give up. This drink: pain, shame, guilt, humiliation, physical damage cycle is just a living hell and we all deserve more.

[universal]

1st day ...again

Marisa, you're doing great! You keep coming back for support and you want to do well - you have the heart and the drive - just keep trying. It's an uphill battle for some of us but look at your mom - 12+ years - I'm sure it was hard for her too but she did it. So can you - just take it ODAT and if you slip, just pick yourself back up, brush yourself off and try again.

We love you and want to help you succeed in your journey towards sobreity.

[FinallyRN]

1st day ...again

Oh my goodness..................I thought you were talking about MY family. The trouble is most think that as long as you're functioning there is no problem. I run 3-4 miles every week, 3 x week, I have a job, but I have a problem too. I can so relate to the "dying inside". I use to think that I was horrible, no good, ashamed. If anyone found out what I was really like they wouldn't like me. Part of the depression that accompanies this addiction.
I asked my mother if she thought I drank too much, ( still wanting to be convinced that I didn't ) she said something I never forgot and repeat to others when they have any doubts........"Does it bother you?"....... Hell yeah! Its not the amount or if you function, How do YOU feel about it? You're living it.

:new:

[chefette]

1st day ...again

marissa that sounds like me to only i have problems with my partner. we are about to separate. he deserves better than me and my problems. my child is safe. for the time being. i have started the supps today and hope they will help. good luck:l

[paula]

1st day ...again

Nobody can tell you if you drink too much, I agree it is how you feel that counts.
If you drink a litre of booze a day and you feel ok about it, then that's fine. Personally
if I have just one drink I feel guilty, because I am not likely to stop at one, I don't have
to get drunk to feel anxiety, humiliation etc. it's just part of the problem. I know I can
never moderate, Iv'e tried so many times and it just doesn't work for me. I wouldn't
think drinking a litre of wine a day would be very good for anybody's liver, so I wouldn't
recommend it.
Well done Marisa your doing fine. Odat.
Love Paula. x

[rustop61]

1st day ...again

Good luck Discovermarsia. Lots of us are like you, functional on the outside and dying inside. Try and get some AF time under your belt, its amazing how much better and stronger you will feel. Lots of people are going for 30 days but if that seems too much of a challenge take it in smaller steps. Check in with us in newbies under ODAT, one day at a time. To quote Doggie "I will keep quitting the booze until I dont suck at quitting the booze any more". Good luck.

Rustop