just cant seem to get to grips!

[juney]

Why do i punish myself and hurt myself more and more each time?
Ive been on this site earlier this year and managed to stay AF for nearly 3 months and then something happened tho cant remember what and i went back on the slippery slope. Been on and off it ever since. Im ok during the week when i have to work but weekends are a blur sometimes and sometimes i just dont eat and drink drink drink. I am so ashamed my daughter taped my slurred speech and i am too embarassed to listen to it. I didnt even know she had done it or what the conversation was about. I drank almost 3 bottles of wine during the course of saturday and felt rotten all yesterday. Started the kudzu again yesterday so hope it helps. Also anyone any advice on how to stop shaking hands. Its not that obvious but i am so aware of it. I really want to kick this habit and be sober and enjoy my weekends instead of drinking through them and not enjoying my time off work. Ive been reading up on alcoholic poisoning and its so scary what can happen. Death! I dont want to die young. I dont want to die at all so why do i punish myself so. I dont have a happy home life with my husband. We have drifted apart. There is no love or affection any more and i so crave a cuddle and a kind word now and again. Maybe this is my excuse for drinking i dont know but i do know i cant go on like this. I mean 3 bottles of wine a day is wrong!!
Love xx

[Guest]

just cant seem to get to grips!

Hi Juney,
As you already know, 3 btls of wine won`t fix anything for you or wave a magic wand over your home life. I used to drink to escape all my problems.........I no longer drink, `cos drink cannot change a thing.

Stop looking for happiness at the bottom of a wine bottle.......it ain`t there. You`ve done 3 mths AF before, says you sure as Hell can do this. Get yourself back to AF and through your sobriety, you`ll discover your own personal happiness.

It`s not easy for any of us to give up the booze.......I simply adored my wine. But, as you already know from experience, it is so very worthwhile giving it up.

Love and strength to you,

Starlight Impress x

[discovermarisa]

just cant seem to get to grips!

I too drank all weekend and feel just horrible. Drank all day both days. Iknow whats gonna happen but I do it anyway. I just don't get it. I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY, I know that much. There is beer in the fridge and I refuse to touch it, to the point of crying when I stare through the open refrigerator door at it.

It's sad really.

[Guest]

just cant seem to get to grips!

We`ve all been sad marisa, through the state of our lives and selves as a result of the drink. Do yourself a favour and bin the booze that`s in the fridge. If it`s hubby`s and he really insists of having it in the house, don`t torture yourself by looking longingly at it.........that will only cause you to weaken and give in.......find something enjoyable to do to distract yourself from thinking about drinking.

You can do this tonight.........go for it!!!!!!

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[Victory]

just cant seem to get to grips!

Girls we need to stop hurting ourselves

Hi Juney, yep been there done that and always hate myself for doing it yet again. Not sure what?s worse the physical hang over or the shame and self-hatred that comes with it, but when you combine them all it becomes a living hell. Nothing feels as good as waking after a few days of AF. I agree with Starlight Impress you have been AF before and you can do it again. Beating up on yourself will just increase your pain. Make today Day 1 of AF. For the shakes drink lots of water and flush your system, shaking is all part of toxicity.
Discovermarisa, we do it again and again because we are addicts, please tip the beer out and don?t torture yourself at the fridge. Not preaching because I too have done it again and again and still scared I?ll do it again, but no booze in the fridge rule really helps.
:h

[paula]

just cant seem to get to grips!

Hi Juney,
I managed six months af this year, and still managed to lapse. I know exactly
how you feel, so we can do it again. Marisa I find it much easier without drink
in the house, so my husband agreed to go out when he felt like a drink.
Starlight and Victory you are so right in what you say. Keep up the good work.
Love Paula.xx