Thankful

[time2change]

Hello to all
I have been reading posts here for a very long time. I hesitate to post again because the kast time I posted I said I was feeling like I could really stay AF, but of course I failed and didn't post again. I titled this post thankful because i decided on Thanksgiving to start again. I hope that on Thanksgiving next year I can say i am 1 year AF. Today is day 4 and even that is an accomplishment. I have been so inspired by the posts of many of you. I feel like I know some of you and you have no idea who I am. I have been drowning the pain of an unhappy marriage for the past 5 - 7 years with alcohol. I hide alone and drink in my room. Hiding empties, sneaking them to a dumpster......you all know what I mean. My kids have seen me drinking too ,amy times. I now know I will never be able to get myself out of this situation by staying drunk. I want to be happy again and drinking is not the way to get there. I need to deal with this relationship instead of hiding behind drinking. I have no freinds or family locally so I could really use your support. I have spent hours reading your posts in just starting out and general discussion as well as others. I hope I can make some freinds here who will help me through all this. i need to drive my son to college today(5 hour round trip) so that will keep me bust today. I find myself drinking out of boredom and lonliness, so I hop I can count on you all. I'm sorry for making this so long, but there is so much I need to get off my chest. Thanks for reading this and I hope we can all get to know each other better. I really want this. I have the supps and CD's but do not want to take med if I can help it. Best of luck to all of you who have succeeded and to those who are struggling. hAVE A GREAT af DAY.:new:

[betty boop]

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Hi time2change and :welcome: to MWO .......

Whatever your reasons for finding us, you really have come to the right place, If you truly want to stop drinking, then with the help of the lovely people here, you CAN do it ......

Please ask if you need any help, love & Hugs, BB xx

[AMELIA]

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Great to see that you are back and posting. I have been up and down with my AF/drinking, but have always come back to post. It keeps me 'mindful' even if I am drinking.
I know only too well what you describe about hiding empties, sneaking to the dumpster, feeling like absolute shit.....
Time2change, you simply must come online as often as you can. Tape your hands to the keyboard if necessary (at least you wont be holding a glass!!). No one here judges anyone because they are AF or not, so if in a week or a month or even an hour, if you have a slip, you just have to pick yourself up and carry on moving forward to a better place. If you are isolated, this forum is the perfect way for you to begin connecting to others who definately KNOW what you are and have been going through. You can count on the people here.
I am sorry your relationship isn't how you would like it to be, but maybe once you start to sort out your drinking problems, then you will be in a better place to sort that out too.

Hope your round trip went smoothly (5 hours - looooong drive!!).
Look forward to seeing more of your posts.
x

[retteacher]

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I second what Amelia says. Come here & post. It doesn't matter what stage you are in. I'm glad you made the decision. Wait until you see you wonderful life can be wo/booze. Mary

[USMgirl]

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I can relate to being somewhere without ANYBODY..not even kids and husband...it was a horrible depressing time....I know now that I was really clinically depressed and drank all the time to help it but of course, it was just a drunk/depressed/sick cycle I was in.....I made a decision to move back closer to my support/family. That helped the depression, but I have continued to drink....I want to encourage you to just get up and do something....even if it is taking your kid down the block for a walk....Movement/exercise of some kind always helps....and reaching out....
I'm new too....no days AF yet...but I'm close, I think. I don't plan on drinking today, just reading and staying close to home....I am seeing my doc tomorrow about meds. I've researced and think that may be something that will help....and I plan on reading and posting whenever I get the chance.
Good luck!

[The Londoner]

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Time2change
Welcome to MWO!
Those before me have said good things as will those after me, so I just want to send you a big hug, you will soon love MWO as much as we all do!
:welcome: Anna:h

[wakupmom]

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Hi,just wanted to say welcome,and well done for making that first move.You are amonst friends who really understand the pain of being a slave to the old hooch.Read,read,post buy the book and the supps.Hope to see you around xx

[time2change]

Thankful

Hi All
Just back from the trip back to college and could not wait to log in here. But now I feel like crying because of all the responses to my post. I recognize all of you from the many many times I have logged in to read, but decided not to post. Just the fact that you take the time to respond means alot, but your words are so important to me. My story is a long one I will share completely one day. I did not drink to excess until I was separated from my husband and diagnosed depressed. Iwas put on antidressants and that's when my problems began. I could not sleep and began having a few to help me sleep. That was about 5 years ago. I am 45. I stopped the antidressants(because they weren't working...I wonder why) shortly after I started and just self medicated. It has progressed and progressed and now it must stop. My husband has been abusing drugs and alcohol for a long time. I think he would just assume things stay the way they are because he will never admit the extent of his problems. (was aressted in 2003 and still denies a problem) I am responsible for everything to do with the house, kids, finances etc. I hold a good job and have never missed work, but I go to work most days feeling like crap. I hope that I can put an end to that. Now I just feel like crap because I didn't sleep for the last 3 nights. Thank you again for all of your support and kind words. I hope I can hop right in and join you all on this journey and I hope we all end up right where we want to be.

[paula]

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Hi and welcome time2,
sending you love and support, yes do join us on this journey, it's not easy
but so worthwhile and rewarding.
Good luck Paula.

[Archie]

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Thankful

are you actually me? i think you are. Your story echoes so much of mine, to the point it actually shocked me. good luck. hope we can maybe help each other.

A.

[time2change]

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Last I checked I lived in theUS not Ireland so i think we are not one in the same........I hope that you are doing well.

[buckledown]

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Hi and glad to see your posts...I too was on antidepressants and i felt that they made me drink more..there have been many posts about this...please never feel fearful to post no matter where you are in your journey..stay close and be strong...the doctors appointment will go well...Have an outstanding day and great job on 4 days...buckle

[janka]

Thankful

Hi Time2 and welcome to MWO!!!! I hear and very much feel your story so far, my situation is very, very similar in that I live in an impopssible marriage and have self-mediated with alcohol to alleviate anxiety, depression, loneliness and sleeplessness. I drank on binges over the past 5 to 6 years but am alcohol free now (over 50 af days staright, a three day binge prior to that, and another 39? prior to that). Anyway, my anxiety and depression are gone for now (anti-depressants did not work for me either, largely a result of my extremely challenging environment with hubby). I feel stronger and I have become way more patient with time and the changes that need to occur. I still have many personal challenges to face but am far, far better equipped to do that without alcohol. I do not miss it at all and am grateful that my fears and anxieties have eased tremendously. MWO has been a blessing, really inspiring, to me and hopefully will be to you too. Be patient, take good care of yourself, and come here when you need a helping hand, j

[satori]

Thankful

Hi Time, and welcome!

Your story is the same or similar to a lot of people here - oh sure some details may be different - but basically we all want to get off - and stay off this rolllercoaster we somehow managed to climb on without noticing!!

You have come to the right place - the folks here are something special.

I don't know if we have discovered a hitherto unknown fact that all people with alcohol problems are incredibly empathic and supportive, or if we are just lucky with the people here - whatever, this place can change your life if you want it to.

I know- it has changed mine.

Good luck on your journey to a new life!

Love :l

Satori

xxx

(133 AF days into MY new life! )