Logged and Labeled

[Doggygirl]

Logged and Labeled

Bashley, thanks for sharing. You have a wonderful way with words, and this chapter in your book so clearly illustrates the addictive thinking that we all share on some level.

How cool it is to get free of having most every moment of every day revolve around booze - even to the point of taking big risks.

Congratulations on your progress!!

DG

[Cinders]

Logged and Labeled

Bashley,

One other thing re checking out early.

In the states, our length of stay depends soley on how long our insurance will pay. Since I have health insurance through a company, I only got 14 days, those who were there on government subsidized insurance got to stay 21 to 28 days.

I actually wanted to stay longer. I knew the longer I stayed the more I would learn and the longer I would have for introspection and healing. However, reality is reality and I, too, am the primary bread winner for the family.

On the day of my departure, I was very nervous and scared. I knew I would be leaving a safe haven and going out into the "big world" where Al, the Beast, is roaming freely. One of my counselors took me aside and told me, "It is good to be afraid, it is the ones who are not afraid that worry me." She also said, "Relapse is not a requirement."

So, I left with renewed determination to join AA (because I really do get such benefit from physically being around others like myself that I can talk to) and jumping back on MWO where I have such good friends and support.

I also realized that not drinking is my first priority. If I let Al back into my life, everything else is going to go to hell.

MY last binge was a doozy. Coming to from a blackout where I realized I had flown through two airports, ridden trains, gotten bags, cleared security, all blacked out, and then the second I put the car keys in the ignition, I came to. Okay, I really screwed up after that and went and checked into a hotel at the airport and drank some more (it seemed like the thing to do) and woke up with a broken nose and blood all over the hotel bed.

In retrospect, it was the coming to at the crucial moment that I was about to drive my ancient Ford F150 Pickup with the 6" lift in a blacked out state that made me realize "My life had become unmanageable"

I shudder to think of the people I could have killed driving in that condition. I would not even have been aware I had done anything. I truly think there was an intervention from heaven working for me.

So, I checked into rehab. It was not a fancy place, we worked hard, up at 5:30 and in bed at 10:00, meds at specific times, sessions, lectures, AA meetings, meals eaten within 15 minutes, chores cleaning the facility, etc. It was worth every precious second of being around counselors who have been where we have been and beaten the beast; being around people going through the same tough struggle and seeing many valiant efforts to heal.

Yes. I will stay afraid, vigilant and hopeful. Relapse is not a requirement and I bring one more thing from Bradford, "What am I willing to do to stay sober?" It had better be anything, because if not, I am saying I am willing to put other innocent lives at risk. That I am not willing to do.

Sorry, just had to get this out.

Love and Respect for your recovery,
Cindi

[janka]

Logged and Labeled

Hi Bashley, I am so very glad you are okay and recovering from yet another adventure. Take very good care and keep posting, j

[Doggygirl]

Logged and Labeled

Cindi - thank you SO MUCH for sharing this from your heart. I have tears in my eyes. Tears of happiness for you that you did NOT drive your car, and that you checked into re-hab. Tears of sadness for the tragedies that occur when an intervention from heaven (or whatever an individual prefers to call it) does NOT occur. And a humbly grateful feeling that I haven't killed anyone personally.

This is probably coming out all wrong, but I think it is so important that ALL of us take your experience to heart and know that we cannot afford to goof around with this problem. We MUST solve our problems.

Love to you Cindi,

DG

[wakupmom]

Logged and Labeled

Loved your story Bashley
Such an inspiration.Take good care on your travels and come back soon xx
Cindi,your post was fab.Full of honesty,and substance.I really hope you keep beating back that beast.You so deserve it xx
Doggie great to see you too are getting right back on that horse.I know Saturdays are hard for you-sending you a specail push xx

[Chief]

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What a great thread......I never stop learning here at MWO..

[Bashley]

Logged and Labeled

Why Al Cindy?

Any relation, this Al bloke?

Jeezum girl - your last drive was a real doozy by all accounts! Thank your personal angel for bringing you and everyone involved through the nightmare, alive. It is not good to kill in the first place unless you have to, but to not remember the moment, would be unforgivable.

Congratulations on Day 20 - yes I count too and you are coming to the difficult monthly nuptial period. Did they give you anything to take apart from Peepee Banana and Sons to keep you a little bit calm?

In Campo Alegre, I met a Dutch woman visiting a Bazuko( dried coca leave paste, mixed with gasoline) addict who was her boyfiend. She had been alcohol free (AF is too easy) for more than a year having spent 2 months in a clinic in Hampshire, England. The daily bill, all included, was 1000 pounds sterling, and there were people in there on a long term basis! Down where you live that's a little over $ 60,000 a month. Pretty mind boggling. Her friend Danny had made a life of going in and out of rehab clinics from New Orleans to Colombia as had all the other inmates there with me. Rich parents or relatives were making it possible for them and they liked the daily routine.

RN
Love a spot of wine myself and see that you are recently back on the wagon. Chrimble is a tough time I guess, for guys n' gals like us - don't know personaly; as I haven't ever spent a Christmas, when not working, without a good buzz going. Going to try Becks Non-Alcoholic or Tonic, lime and bitters as a hand filler this year. Stocking stuffers are out - spent all my extra cash on rehab!! You can do it too and you know, we're all rooting for you. :goodjob:

Bashley

[Coldoc]

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Hola Bash!!

Always lurking down here in Yacuiba! Not much to read in English and I haven't checked in a few months. Great story man and liked the old ones too.
Sounds like you get around, wondered if you've been down this way to our gas fields? They say Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are buried not far from here in the mountains. Who knows - the station is old enough. You should come down it's like Colombia without the damned guerillas. Had a practise a few years back, in Honda but the aguardiente got the better of me. Now it's the Chufly monkey-rough shit. Talk about some dead brain cells.
Might try labeling some stuff gota do something
Keep writing man and no Tapa Roja for Papa Noel if you know what I mean.
Mas tarde tocaillo.
Doc

[magic]

Logged and Labeled

Hey Coldoc!

Welcome!

I too have been thinking about the labels, but in my house it would be to keep what's mine, mine.
It seems to be working for Bashley though, if you try it let us know!

magic xx