Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

[Resolute]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Good morning from Honolulu!!

Was a beautiful day yesterday in Honolulu...very nice morning here too. Just a quick 'hello' and 'thank you' to the warm welcome as always. As I read through the posts, I'm reminded of the collective desire to beat something that, for me, has proved elusive. I'm thankful for the forums and am keeping all of your struggles in my thoughts as I run out the door this morning.

Till' tomorrow...take care, back on track!!

[elainey]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Hello

Late getting on the computer today. But did want to read this thread. Sunny, pleasant day here in GA. Thanks for the welcome and Happy Birthday Resolute. Today is day 5, and I am feeling confident that the weekend will be AF for me and hubby! Hope everyone has a great weekend!




Lainey

[Jacy]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

This is my first post in ODAt. I am on day 3 I am feeling tired but hopeful. It will be hard for me this weekend as this is my first in weekend in quite awhile AF. I am going Christmas shopping tomorrow and I always feel agitated by the time I am finished. I plan only to go for an hour or so I don't want to get overwhelmed.

Today I will take it ODAT as that is the only way I know how to deal with my drinking. So far I made it through 2 days AF working on number 3. I really am tired I think I will end hear and finish off my work day hopefully when I get home tonight I will be more awake. Take Care everyone.

Hi Charlee...

[charlee]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Jacy
Well done....and big congrats on day 3. Yes, the weekend can be difficult, sometimes Sat. and Sun. can be more of "15 minutes at a time", rather than ODAT!!!...take it minute by minute if you have to..just try to get thru each day, one by one.....not looking to far ahead......you will be so proud of yourself come Monday, when you can start a brand new week.....Tried online shopping?..works for me!!

[lilnev]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Meeting with my boss went reasonably well. And the whispering starts, "that means you can take tonight off. c'mon, there's plenty of time, let's get some beer and take advantage of this chance to relax...." I think one of my triggers is the release from stress. I've met this before -- getting home after a stressful family visit, for example, and long before the airport lands I've got two solid days of drinking planned "to unwind". I'm sure there's neurochemistry behind it. But I recognize it, and I'm NOT going to drink today.

Bah. Struggling....

peace,
lilnev

[Cinders]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Lilnev, Jacy,

Funny. I had to wrangle the beast this afternoon big time!! Sucker was whispering away in my ear telling me "go ahead have one or two."

However, I beat him back big time and drove him away!!

Yea!!

One more day sober and grateful as hell!!

Love to all,
Cindi

[FinallyRN]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Ok, I blew it. Yesterday I went out to lunch with my Dad. I didn't follow my own advice. Never get hungry, never get thirsty, never get bored. Well, I got hungry and we went to my favorite Mexican Restaurant and had their "kick ass" margarita. 2 to be exact. Then because I had already blown it, decided to continue when I got home. Believe it or not I didn't pass out drunk but had dinner, went to sleep. I woke up in the morning not hung over but certainly in a cloud, which took me half the day to wake up from. I realized something. I can't do AF right now, but will have to moderate until Dec is over. My downfall is social events. I don't seem to be able to handle those without alcohol. My mother always said it was anti-social and rude not to partake..........obviously a drinker herself. We were so close in age, ( she had me in her teens ) she wanted company I'm sure. Not passing blame but just venting. (I read what I just wrote and I sound so pathetic!) I know it sounds silly and I have told myself this over and over but admitting I have a problem to all those around me is hard. The stupid thing is, its not like its a secret! or they don't notice, why do I have such a hard time. I had a long period of AF 3 years ago at which point I changed everything, the way I socialized, who I hung out with etc. So I know I can do it. I became AF on my own. My own affair, no ones business. Its not something I want to talk about. Am I embarrassed I have a problem? Maybe huh? I also think that in all other aspects of my life I am in charge, head of the family, in charge at work......so you think this might have something to do with it? I want to show the world I'm in charge here too? Don't need to be gentle here, tell me like it is girls!
Anyway, will moderate all through Dec. then I guess a New Years resolution. How corny! How preditable! How many of you had the same resolution over how many years.

[Chief]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

So let me get this straight..... you slipped up 1 day and now you're just gonna say "fu*k it, I'm gonna drink for the month of December, then "I guess" a News Years Resolution..."
That sounds like a good plan. You sound like you're so happy with yourself when you're drinking. And your mother said it was anti-social and rude not to partake? You're kidding, right? Really grasping at straws aren't we?
Boy, The Beast sure did take over your thought process. Social events:" I don't seem to be able to handle those without alcohol." Of course you can. You might even enjoy them once you realise no one really cares whether you are drinking or not.
You said admitting you have a problem to all those around you is hard, and you want to show the world you are in charge. You don't have to admit anything to anyone. And the only ones you have to show who is in charge is you and The Beast.
You said not to be gentle, and I don't want you to get your feelings hurt and run into seclusion to drown your sorrows, but I've really enjoyed reading your previous posts. You're a very smart, strong and successful woman. You can't just let The Beast call the shots like that. Take charge. Take the power back. You will not be happy drinking for the next month and it will only make quitting harder. You know all this. Get back on the horse.

Don

[FinallyRN]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Chief,
Thanks for your input. Just want to say one thing before I continue................if I had slipped up just one day I wouldn't be on this site.........its been a lot of "one" days, but I asked for honesty. I'm just trying to figure out what my triggers are, where I slip up, as most on this site. I wonder if its in some small part due to my upbringing, where I grew up, an attitude. Maybe I believe that if I got an answer for why my drinking had accerlated I could go "oh yeaaahhhhh, I get it!" And I'd be cured. I don't know. And maybe THAT's my problem..........I want an answer and maybe there will never be one.
The one thing I liked that you said was taking charge of the beast.
Don't worry, it'll take a lot more than a proverbial slap in the face for me to go away.

[Chief]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

I don't think we can figure out why we drink to excess while we're still drinking. Our thought process is skewed. Bad wiring. I think only after we're sober for a while, can we start to clear the cobwebs and start to look at the reasons why we drink and what it is we're trying to drown.

[dexterhead]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

FinallyRN: I don't think it's so bloody terrible to say you'll moderate through December. You know yourself and what you can handle. (Look at me, I said "bloody" and I'm an American.)
As to "triggers," I don't know ... as to upbringing, my great-grandfather ran a brewery and distillery, solid German-Americans ... my mom thinks it's not a family meal without wine, BUT she never has more than one and to her the idea of getting drunk .. well, at least, one of her daughters getting drunk.... is horrifying ... So I was raised to think that a glass of wine with dinner is OK but that moderation is crucial. But, I grew up in the U.S. with its pretty twisted ideas of alcohol and in a pretty hard-drinking state (Wisconsin) so we all started binge-drinking in high school.
After living two years in Germany, land of my forefathers, I am really interested in how our cultures affect our ideas about alcohol. Over there, having a drink is a part of daily life, but acting drunk is pretty taboo, unless it's Fasching or Oktoberfest.
Oh hell, I am rambling. just stay strong RN .. December is one tough month!

[Winefree]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

New to all this too. Trying to say this isn;t me, but it is. Making excusing for drinking, without an avenue for relief. helping for help.

[FinallyRN]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Thanks so much Dexterhead............I REALLY appreciate your entry because I think you understand what I was trying to say. I grew up in Spain. I was there from 11 to 18 then the UK for 4 years therefore most of my attitudes about alcohol were formed there. Dinner without wine? Unheard of. If you had more than one glass, so what, wine was in every aspect of our lives, socializing, part of dinner and just because. Funny thing is none of my abuse started until I got back to the US at 24. Why? ( there I go again asking questions )
I certainly had a hard time adjusting to the US. I've said before that life here is very stressful and so far as I'm concerned unbalanced. 80-90% work and whats left is play. I think thats why abuse starts. Hell, sometimes I have only 2 hours to unwind, have dinner, go to bed because at 0700 am I'm back in the hospital. But don't encourage me, I could start and fill my own thread on my thoughts and theories.
I also understand what Chief was saying and he did make me realize that I am in control if I want to be. This isn't easy and I need to wrestle the beast down to the ground and pin him down. It just won't be in Dec. I never wanted to sound like I was making excuses for not committing, but he also had another point about thinking with a clear head. More food for thought. I will consume MOD, keep you informed honestly about how I'm doing day to day. Tomorrow night I have a dinner party which will be easy to MOD because the host is a huge drinker, ( she makes me look like I'm sober ) and ends up so sloppy it puts me off my own wine............. I look at her and ask myself....."do I look like that?" Makes me sad. And just in case you're wondering, this is a business related dinner/x-mas party.

[dexterhead]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

RN: I know what you're saying about the U.S. Livng in Europe for two years gave me a totally different perspective. In Europe, people aren't ashamed of wanting good quality of life. Six weeks vaca minimum!! Here, for some people it's a badge of honor to never use any of your vacation. so ridiculous. Life here is stressful ... more and more having to do with our very sick health insurance system. My sister has a very high-paying job but is in a financial mess because her health coverage was so poor. There were a lot of things I hated about Germany (not least the sound of my very bad American-accented German !! ), but it opened my eyes to a lot of things about my own country. There's also kind of an "all or nothing" attitude about alcohol. I have friends who would never dream of having a glass of wine with dinner, because alcohol is for partying in the tavern!!!! So many people don't drink at all due to religion, etc., but for those who do, the norm when you're a teen or young adult is to get falling-down drunk and then brag about how drunk you were the next day ....
I was talking to a good friend last night (who has no idea about my problem) about losing weight. She said and I've heard from others that you have to get to the right place in your own head before you can be successful. I think going AF is somewhat like that.

[FinallyRN]

Newbies in need ODAT - Friday

Its funny, when I first got back to the US, my half brother who was 20 asked if I would get him some beer. Why not, I thought, so he took me to the liquer store and asked for a keg! (sp ) I didn't even know what that was. Obviously, it was not just for his consumption, but for a party. "Any celebration in particular?" "No, we're just gonna get drunk"........I never forgot that. That was over 20 years ago..........I never heard of that being a sole purpose for drinking.
But enough of that...............I'm in this for the long hall and I plan to succeed.