Skid Row - Crashed

[Skid Row]

Just wrote a massive speal and then deleted it, so I guess I can't be that much beyond saving, however, mightily hacked off about slipping. Did put up a fight yesterday, but not much of a fight today, if I am honest, with myself. Sought of decided I deserved a party, tomorrow will tell if it was worth it. At the moment feeling a little dispondent, a little negative, and massively like I failed. Check in tomorrow when sober, don't want to ramble when gubbed.
But my suspicion, as I sit here trying to type when a (little intoxicated), to say the least is that, a. I am still alone. b. Tomorrow I will look like shit. c. Being pissed doesn't make alone more interesting. d. Being pissed doesn't stop the man you love from going to bed. (e. Being sober doesn't either so dont get hung up on that one). f. Tomorrow you will not only feel shite, you will look it too. f. If I hadn't bothered I may have found out that the tree and the house may have been decorated with as much joy in my heart as it was tonight. I am truly in agony. I decided I was going to nail this deamon, and hey, here I am, same old same old. I am not a stupid person, I can see what is happening and here I am, back again, same old place, same old feelings and guess what completely ALONE. (excpet for my cyber mates). Which, and you may well laugh at me, because guess what, I would have laughed a couple of weeks ago, actually I probably would have done a little lip curle thing, like a snear, but slightly less derogatory because I would have realised I wasn't qualified to judge, but would have had a go at judging anyway, as is a ladies will. But, here I sit, full of I am not entirely sure what, full of failure, full of understanding, full of (wine) and full to my eye teeth of feeling like a plum.

Bugger. Skid Row Blew It. Ouch my life hearts, and tomorrow I guess it will be my heads turn.

[Guest]

Skid Row - Crashed

Hi Skid........you`re mad at yourself.........GOOD!!!!!, `cos that feeling will see you win this battle in the end. Get a good night`s sleep and get up in the morning knowing that tomorrow you will win. :l

Starlight Impress x

[dexterhead]

Skid Row - Crashed

Don't beat yourself up Skid. It's still early here and there's a lot of time for us Yanks to do a lot of damage to ourselves!

[lilnev]

Skid Row - Crashed

I know very much how you feel, Skid, because that was me yesterday. Again. And yes, I've the headache and the general lousiness today. And yes, I'm pretty disgusted with myself. I know it's a hole. Why do I keep falling into it anyway? And yes, I'm lonely. That's the big hole that I've never learned how to fix, only hide from. Bah.

Not drinking tonight. I generally don't feel like it when I'm completely hung, anyway. I'm not quitting the fight against alcohol; I'll be back. But I do know you mean about the disappointment and the senselessness of it.

peace,
lilnev

[laura anne]

Skid Row - Crashed

Skid - pick yourself up, brush yourself off, tomorrow's another day. No one ever said it was easy. It one step forward and two steps back. Try and remember your successes.

[meditation mama]

Skid Row - Crashed

Hey, Skid!

Hope your little head is resting now, as it will be very busy tomorrow! We have all been where you are, or we wouldn't be here at MYO. As lovely as this family is, I would like it if I didn't really need this support - but I do! And, that my friend, is why we are here. So, my advise is to get up in the morning, get moving (exercise), drink plenty of fluids, maybe do some journaling (here), and start over. You must start over as many times as it takes. Never, ever give up. It will click - I promise, but you have to keep working at it. Learn something from this.. you had the right idea last night writing the reasons it didn't help, even if you did use "f." twice - LOL - just giving you shit! Anyway, my friend, we are here for you! Make a new resolve get back on your path and we will help you along the way.

Namaste

MM

[Bashley]

Skid Row - Crashed

Brit to Brit

By the time of your mail I'd say you've probably followed him to bed by now-does he drink like you?. Your going to feel like crap tomorrow, you and I both know it.
Try getting past mid-day without a hair of the dog and see how you go. There must be some snow somewhere around or even a dry run in Glouster or near Clarkes. Go for a blast of frigid English air and avoid the gluwein part of apres ski !
Do you work?

By the way this will be the hardest thing you've ever done. If it was easy, why would so many of us fall down.
Lurking and pitying the pityfull

B

[Suzanna]

Skid Row - Crashed

now

Hi Skidrow, you thought you would, then you did, it was like something brewing earlier today. We've been/are at that place, in our heads, our chemistry, whatever! Like Star said, stay here, it will click in place, that is why I am here. :h Suz

[dreambeliever]

Skid Row - Crashed

Hi Skid

Sorry you feel bad, if youre like me itll always feel bad when you drink. Just keep trying, thats all you can do :l :l :l

[Skid Row]

Skid Row - Crashed

Hey, shes back, and a quick thanks for all your kind words. Had a bath, feeling rubbish and just even more determined than ever now. By gum, that was a really silly mistake. AND, I sort of new it was going to happen. Just new. NEVER, again. Yep, sounds sort of familiar, but said, this time, with true conviction. Oh, and sincerely sorry about the wow is wow is post I had my party hat on and no-one here wanted to play, all went to bed and I was a little bit lonely, so climbed completely in to the wine bottle and just couldn't manage to climb out, fortunately didn't have any more in the house, or I reckon I would have drank that too, and if I had done that you probably would still be reading my drivel. (lucky escape huh)
Anyway, Day 1 (damn), just ditched my very smart line of little "o"s which I am really sad about, but could be worse I guess. Kind of glad I have a rotten hang over, at least it's a genuine reminder of why I don't want to do this anymore. Thanks again, keep walking forward. Skid

[charlee]

Skid Row - Crashed

Skid
A new day, a new start, a new committment, a new accumulation of "0"'s.....you can do this!!!

[betty boop]

Skid Row - Crashed

Hi Skid, At least you have the line of 'O' s so well done for that!!!!!!

Chin up chuck .........:l

BB xx

[Eastender]

Skid Row - Crashed

Hi Skid ,
Am joining you with ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL (just bored with day one)

Slipped last night out of curiousity, (how stupid) maybe a cat in last life who knows.......

Glad your on the wagon.

[Bashley]

Skid Row - Crashed

tkeene;232234 wrote: Skid Row, we've all been there and done that...just don't do it again. You have got to find something, anything to keep busy with when al comes a knockin. I had a hard time too yesterday and I baked a cake and made chicken stew. I used to love to cook till al ruined my life, now I'm starting a slow return to LIFE and loving it. You have to fight hard and win those arguments in your head and eventually (hopefully) they will go away.

MM, I didn't see any "f" words???

I must be really thick.

Thanks tk for the heads up on who "al" is. I actually asked Cindy if this "Al" fellah was related!! No offence Cindy.

Bashley