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here I go again...

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    here I go again...

    Hi All,

    Just stumbled on this site which is great.

    I was clean and sober for almost 16 months until the bottle got hold of me again about 6 weeks ago. I pretty much hit the bottle twice as hard this time around and today I bit the bullet and went to my doctor for an Antabuse script...start it tomorrow. I feel pretty hopeful tonight so I am ready for what the next chapter will present for me as those 16 months were the happiest of my 34 years after starting to drink and drug at 13.

    Has anyone had any experience with Antabuse? I would be really interested to hear feedback if you have any. I never thought that my abuse of the grog would ever get me to this stage but I am here...I feel very strange about taking a drug to kerb my habit. I used to really judge people that discussed it in my SMART recovery group and always felt that they just weren't serious about their motivations to become wel againl. Now thats me!

    Nice to be on board the sober train again. I feel very positive about it.

    SS:new:

    #2
    here I go again...

    SS,

    :welcome: and glad you are here.

    I do know about it getting worse and worse.

    I have never taken Antabuse but several here do. Hopefully they will see your post and jump in.

    In my mind, whatever it takes!! It is so odd, isn't it, that we feel so great when we are sober but our brain keeps telling us there is something better when we drink.

    I guess that is the nature of this beast.

    Best of luck to you and don't hesitate to post any time you need support.

    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

    Comment


      #3
      here I go again...

      Thanks for your words of encouragement Cindi...whatever it takes is enough for me! So thanks for that :thanks:

      It is funny how our mind plays those games on us. I have had alot of time to consider that very thing over the course of this week. That feeling of getting that first drink into me at 9am so it could just numb the events of the day before...the worst kind of vicious cycle huh. Somehow thinking that the pain will go away, only to return when you wake up the next day.

      I went to a meeting the other night with a friend and just had to leave...I felt so ashamed to be back here again. To have been in such an amazing place. Healthy, fit, happy...totally on top of things in my life...and mostly fulfilled. Long roads ahead but I am ready again for it...Antabuse in hand.

      Anyway, it is nice to feel that were not alone in this experience even though it has to be the most isolating experience to date I have ever been through.

      My recovery experiences from the last time I guess can only help to guide me so I dont feel that all is lost.

      Onwards and Upwards!!

      SS

      Comment


        #4
        here I go again...

        Welcome to you SS. Hope you like it here.

        There were a couple long threads in the meds forum on antabuse-- you will find so so much information on it there. Just do a search. I think they were in around June 2007. You can also just go on the meds forum and ask about antabuse.

        Sounds like you are dead serious-- good for you and I hope it works out.
        Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

        Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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          #5
          here I go again...

          Thanks v.much for your advice...I will head onto the Meds forum and check it out.
          :]

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            #6
            here I go again...

            Hi SS & welcome.
            You're a day ahead of me on the Antabuse front. I've got a doc's appt tomorrow morning and for the first time will say I've got a drink problem and need help. I'm doubly nervous because my usual doc, who is a really nice guy, is on hoilday for a month (nice work if you can get it!) and I have to see his partner, who I've only seen once before and really didn't like! Anyway, from what I've read about it, I think Antabuse would give me a psychological prop - especially over Xmas when I'll be spending time with very heavy drinkers - and I hope this doc will agree to prescribe it!
            I know exactly what you mean about feeling strange about taking an anti-alcohol drug. I always thought they were for hardcore alcoholics. I'm only just beginning to accept that maybe that's exactly what I am...
            Keep us posted on your progress.
            sigpic
            AF since December 22nd 2008
            Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

            Comment


              #7
              here I go again...

              Welcome

              Hi Ya simon_says, :welcome:
              don?t know about Antabuse, too scared to take it as so self destructive would probably drink with it just to make myself sick. You are in the right place, this site does help enormously. Keep reading and posting. See you round.
              Cheers Victory

              Comment


                #8
                here I go again...

                Good Morning SS,

                It's great to see your posts here this morning. This is a great group of loving and caring people. You won't be disappointed that you found us.

                Welcome Aboard:flower:
                Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.

                Comment


                  #9
                  here I go again...

                  Welcome Simon,
                  Glad to have you here. 16 months is an awesome achievement AF wise and I know 6 weeks of heavy drinking makes you feel like shit physically and mentally. However, like you said, you have 16months of experience of doing it right to draw on!!
                  Whatever it takes!!
                  Best wishes
                  x
                  Amelia

                  Sober since 30/06/10

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