I am so happy I found this site!

[Shikakai]

I swear, if I had had a gun last night, I would have taken my life.

I started drinking when I was 17 years old. Once I became legal age, I stepped it up to drinking all weekend long.

As I got older, my life became more stressful. Getting older; more job demands; parents getting older; chaotic family life, etc. and I used alcohol to "deal".

All of a sudden, over the last few years, alcohol has begun to cease being "fun" anymore and it seems to be a dependency.

I realize now that everything I do has to have alcohol in it. From going to work to going to the bathroom. I can't even hold a phone conversation without a drink. Can't go to the post office without a drink; basically, can't do ANYTHING without a drink or unless I know I'm on my way to getting one somewhere.

Anyway, that's briefly what I have been going through recently. When I drink to excess, I become angry because I can't drink and feel good anymore and I want to stop. I can become violent and destroy my property; I've been depressed for years because I just CAN'T STOP and I want to.

Check out the AA website, but I can't go to any place like that... everybody looking and judging me. Can't do it.

It doesn't help either watching TV and movies showing people DRINKING! Oh God! What have I gotten myself into?

I know now that I am a full-blown alcoholic and I hope that this book (My Way Out) can lead me out of this life of HELL!

Thanks for reading :thanks:

[cuckoosnest83]

I am so happy I found this site!

:welcome: Hi, Shikakai. Your story sounds like mine. Started drinking at a young age, became a weekend warrior, and then more recently it took over my life. I've been on this site for a little over 2 months and have found that is has helped me. It works differently for different people but I find it immensely helpful and I think you will too. Please keep reading the posts and come back and post often. You will find a lot of people willing to help and offer you support and encouragement. Best of luck.

Cuckoo

[Shikakai]

I am so happy I found this site!

....

cuckoosnest83;241496 wrote: :welcome: Hi, Shikakai. Your story sounds like mine. Started drinking at a young age, became a weekend warrior, and then more recently it took over my life. I've been on this site for a little over 2 months and have found that is has helped me. It works differently for different people but I find it immensely helpful and I think you will too. Please keep reading the posts and come back and post often. You will find a lot of people willing to help and offer you support and encouragement. Best of luck.

Cuckoo

Thank you very much... I hope I can finally get some peace

[lucky 2.0]

I am so happy I found this site!

Welcome Shakakai,

This place can be addicting and very fun, as well as supportive. I hope you get as much out of it as I have.

Glad you are here and all the best to you-

lucky

[dexterhead]

I am so happy I found this site!

Shikakai: I am glad you found this site. I just found it recently too. There is so much support here and reading other people's stories has really helped me. For so long, I felt alone and so much shame about my problem and now I find so many others just like me! stick around ..

[zige]

I am so happy I found this site!

Hi Shikakai
You are in the right place for help.you are not alone with your hell.everyone is here to help you relieve some of the pain you are going through.just focus on today it will make it easier.If you want to get sober all the people here will help you.we will try to give you all the information and love that you need .we can feel your pain .here you are never alone.GB (Me).

[Mags]

I am so happy I found this site!

I just looked back and the first post I ever made was last March and the title was "I'm so happy I found you" - almost exactly the same as yours. And I too had been at a place in my life when I couldn't do anything at all without a drink. I have been here everyday since last March and can tell you that you will get lots and lots of help here. Your life can change dramatically (albeit the change may not happen overnight) if you work at it, stick with us and work with the program.

I am glad you have found us also.

:welcome:

[retteacher]

I am so happy I found this site!

Shikakai: Check out the Newbies in Need ODAT (one day at a time) daily thread. It's great. I've had more success w/MWO than any other method of trying to stop drinking. Mary

[MarinaBlue]

I am so happy I found this site!

Hi there Shikakai!

Welcome! You have come to a very good place for love and support when you most need it. There are the most amazing stories and people here...the book is a great start, it will give you really sound advice on how to get on with the program.

Let us know how you're doing girl! Hang in there!

Blue

[Accountable for Me]

I am so happy I found this site!

:welcome: Shikaki!

Glad you found us! I know that you will find lots of support and strength here.

[WA]

I am so happy I found this site!

Hi shikaki...felt the same.. only been AF and on this site for 11 days and my life has change so much it is great...stick with it ...its so so worth it
Jacqui

[Suki411]

I am so happy I found this site!

Welcome shikaki. This place, these people have transformed my life in the last month.

Keep reading, posting, if you feel like it, but I want you to know that I have learned so much about myself and I'm starting to regain my self-esteem.

Glad you joined us. It's a difficult journey, but with the love and support here, the results are priceless!

[paula]

I am so happy I found this site!

Welcome Shikakai,
you have come to the right place, you will get lots of support
on this site. Paula.

[Shikakai]

I am so happy I found this site!

Thank you, everyone...

I have been indoors all day because I just didn't think I would have the strength to leave the house without making a "stop". It feels good to know there are others that I can share this horrible time in my life with; I truly did feel alone, but I knew I couldn't possibly be the only one suffering.

I am going to "sneak" out and get some dinner. Thank God there aren't any liquor stores between here and there, since it's a suburban community.

I had to take a traffic school course (ticketed for non-alcoholic violation) and in the coursework it talks about alcohol being a drug. I had no idea... I am completely strung out.

Last night... omigod! I don't know how many drinks I had had starting at around 11:00 a.m. and ending somewhere around midnight. I was a complete mess!

Thanks again for the warm welcome and the support. This is going to be one LONG ride! LOL!

But I'll keep the faith... I just don't know how on EARTH this happened to ME! "Monkey on my back!"

GET OFF!

[Resolute]

I am so happy I found this site!

Just wanted to say welcome...

You're NOT alone...struggling alongside you too!!