Baby Steps

[Neurongirl]

Thanks to everyone who read my first post on detox, and to those who offered their suggestions. I'm so grateful to find a forum where I can "talk" with people and not carry all my worries and self-recrimination by myself all the time. I had a big scare last Wednesday, after a period of heavy drinking each night for a few weeks (stressors: maid of honor in my younger brother's wedding to a very young girl while I still deal with singleness at 37, came home from the wedding to find my beloved pet bird of 8 years had died, huge ongoing pressures at work, a gruelling out of town conference, mom went into the hospital and I had to take care of things, long-distance boyfriend still on the fence, etc. etc.). Wednesday morning I had all the symptoms of serious withdrawal and thought I was going to die since my heart was out of control...won't go into all the gory details, but I got myself to the doctor, got some initial help, and managed to get myself back home. I started Ativan that night to get me over the withdrawal until I could get into detox. Unfortunately there were no open beds the next day nor the next day and, so here I am 4.5 days withough alcohol and one day off the Ativan. It is a bit scary, since I don't know what to expect next. I've made an appointment to go to an outpatient center tomorrow to see what sort of ongoing program I might be able to enter. Truth be told, this whole experience seems sort of "out of body" and I keep thinking that this cannot possibly have happened to me...the "good girl" who never used to drink much ever, never tried drugs, and just tried to work hard and be tough and take care of myself all by myself. I'm so ashamed and so worried that I have become this thing: "a problem drinker, an alcoholic" when I just want to be me. I'm really sad and scared...

N

[Resolute]

Baby Steps

Certainly don't be ashamed...be thankful and proud of the fact that you're doing it!! You're taking a stand and now's the time to be tough...

You're NOT alone...this site and the MWO 'methods' do work. We're struggling alongside you too -- day by day.

Make this work...you've already gotten past the first few days!!

[dexterhead]

Baby Steps

NeuronGirl: Welcome .. you sound much like me ... used to be a relatively "normal" drinker, responsible good girl, until a series of nasty life turns turned me into a daily drinker . And I can SO relate about your bird. My sweet kittycat helped me thru a nasty divorce and aftermath ... then when I thought my life was getting back on track, he slipped on ice and fell from a 2nd-story porch .. and no, cats don't always land on their feet .. he broke his back .. spent a lot of money trying to save him to no avail. It felt like my heart was breaking into pieces .. our pets mean the world to us. But the pain of losing him did subside with time, slowly ... He was also 8 years old and I'd had him since he was a kitten.

We are with you in your struggle. I'm still struggling to quit. I know, I worry so much about physical damage I've done to myself. The people on this site are going to save my life and I think they will yours, too.

[trixietrack]

Baby Steps

please don't abuse yourself anymore than you already have. you are very brave having gone through such stress.
keep plugging away and know that we can be here for you if you need to vent, or if you have a question.
Welcome to MWO I have been here since March, and boy was I a wreck when I first arrived.
still got a way to go, but I get stronger little by little.
Trix

[Bettelove]

Baby Steps

Neurongirl
know that you're not alone. I can relate to the "good girl" that started out drink on occasionally, but alcohol became a coping mechanism and is now a bad habit. Hang in there, this is a great place to get support and share your fears and sadness. Reading the posts gives me hope and although I don't post much, when I do, I feel much better.

[Ripple]

Baby Steps

A good diaper change really makes a difference. Don't be ashamed, so many are in denial. Baby steps are what its about for all of us. :welcome:

Hang in there!
Ripple.
:l

[Suki411]

Baby Steps

Neuron'girl, you're lucky to be here. you'll soon find out that negative words or negative thoughts about yourself have no place in your vocabulary or in your life. Every experience is a learning experience, and will make where you want to be all that more special.

Dexter, so sorry about your kitty. One of mine, my oldest, jumped off the bed one night and broke his neck. The ones I have now (7 yo - 17 yo) are so sensitive to how I'm feeling. Better than therapists. Actually, they are therapists.

Ngirl, check in often, this place works miracles. It's your choice, it can be difficult, but it can also be heaven. Ther is unbelievable support here.
:welcome:

[HopefulNow]

Baby Steps

Neurongirl,

Welcome. You've definitely landed in an incredibly warm, helpful and supportive place. I think you'll find this to be true, and within time, and some more reading and posting, you'll start to feel better.

That, and reading the MWO book and experimenting with the recommended supps and, possibly, the various drug therapies -- as well as taking good care of yourself with good excercise and nutrition -- to find the right balance for you can also help tremendously.

Keep your chin up. You CAN do this. And we're all here to help.

-HopefulNow