Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

[Mags]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

I don't do this very often but tough Mags is comin in here now. Stop all this nonsense talk about guns and all that. I can't listen to it anymore. You are all people whose lives are worth so much more than that. The holidays can really suck sometimes. Believe me I'm the queen of depression and I used to be the queen of the bottle. I damn near killed myself not with a gun but with that stinking bottle. I thought I could never ever live outside it. But now I live without the bottle
and am happy to be alive. You will get there too. It takes time, but never ever give up the hope. And never ever give up on yourself.

Tonight you are all gonna take mama Mags' prescription. You are going to stay home, drink some nice tea, some crappy soda, whatever - anything without booze. Then you're going to read the success stories on here and find out one of them will be you one day. It really can be. And then you are going to see if some people are on chat and go on chat, introduce yourself, and have a fun time and laugh a lot or have a serious conversation. - whatever. PM me if you want to go on chat later. I'm an old lady with nothing to do - I'll chat with you. You're going to make friends with each other and start PMing each other and helping each other out.

And you're going to do this!!!!

I love you guys. We're gonna all do this together. You are never alone.

[lukalee]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

You go Mags. That is the type of love I need. I NEVER want to drink again. If I come on here begging for a drink, will you give me swift kick in my ass please?

[Shikakai]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

Suki411;245069 wrote: S, thinking of you. I know my depression is definitely linked to my drinking, as the last 3 days are telling me. Drank and stayed in bed.

We can do it, kick AL in the butt. Did 7, 3, 5 days AF and felt incredible. Then the holidays hit.

Drinking isn't worth it. AF is such a gift. I plan to give myself that gift.

NOW. I NEED IT NOW.

My best to you, S.


Suki xxxxxxx

Thank you, Suki... I'm praying for you too... sounds like you are or have been... too many times have I just drank and drank and drank... ordered a pizza; looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. Make-up half on/off; dried tear streaks; hair like Manson and the whole nine1

I have still been drinking over the weekend and drank today, but it seems that my body has hit a "bottom". I actually feel... okay inside, but my joints hurt. My hips are bothering me and not long ago, my knees were bothering me

I wonder if I'm moving into another stage of my alcoholism where I'm not "sicky" inside, but other things go wrong.

Good news, though! My book FINALLY arrived! I am going to get a good night's sleep tonight; sleep in tomorrow since I'm off until next year, and read the entire book tomorrow!

I didn't know that Roberta was the author. She wrote me a nice and encouraging note when I joined the board. Thank you so much, Roberta, for this book. I skimmed a few pages of it when I opened the package, and I already feel uplifted.

Had to buy new tires today; got an estimate to get the car fixed (dents-$1200); have to call the insurance company and pray they don't have an "attitude"

Stress and depression... if I could go through a 30-45 day detox and come out and NEVER have to worry about life and its stresses... I would be fine. I know it!

Why am I HERE?

Anyway, I'll read the book tomorrow. I am praying for all of you. Happy New Year.

[Shikakai]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

lukalee33;245324 wrote: You go Mags. That is the type of love I need. I NEVER want to drink again. If I come on here begging for a drink, will you give me swift kick in my ass please?

Me too! Kick me in any body part that's visible... I have hope that the New Year will bring change... it's a new year, right? That means we can begin again...

I just hate I wasn't able to stop after I said I was.

Sometimes I do wonder if I will be able to kick it... how do you stop doing something you absolutely love?

Hopefully, the book will share the "secret" with me...

[Shikakai]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

jettagirl;245187 wrote: Shikakai,

It's understandable that you feel the way you do. Yes, it is very hard work to stop the insanity. Please remember that you are a person worthy of being alive and healthy. This is YOU we are talking about. A human being who deserves to live this life. Try to see yourself as a person to love. Treat yourself as a precious gift which IS who and what you are.

We all go into a spell when we drink, mine is more of a nothingness. Try to understand you CAN conquer this. You are worthy for the efforts it takes. People care about you. Please care about yourself.

I wish you the best.

Thank you... I am trying... I really am... every day is a new day... I will get through this. At least over the last two nights (including tonight) I haven't had thoughts of suicide... that's a blessing...

I will be back on tomorrow after I've read the book. Thanks for all responses. Some I didn't read yet, but I appreciate them.

[Suki411]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

mama Mags. Tough love is the best. Thank you so much.

You too lukalee.

I am so tired of taking care of everybody, while my f@#king brother and sister don't work, while I work 60 hours a week, plus trying to settle my mom's estate. Can you guess why she choose me as executrix?

All of a sudden my sister is concerned about. me Where was she two years ago, when she wanted to put my mom in a nursing home, when my mom wanted to stay in her own home. My mom stayed where she wanted to. While I took care of her, while my sister and her perfect family, spent the summer down on Cape Cod at my mom's place.

I guess I have a lot of anger to deal with.

[Dolly Sunshine]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

Shikakai;245331 wrote: Me too! Kick me in any body part that's visible... I have hope that the New Year will bring change... it's a new year, right? That means we can begin again...

I just hate I wasn't able to stop after I said I was.

Sometimes I do wonder if I will be able to kick it... how do you stop doing something you absolutely love?

Hopefully, the book will share the "secret" with me...

But do you absolutely love it? I don't think so. I thought I did too. Now being away from it I see the line between love and hate is very fine. As long as you are alive you can always begin again. That's the miracle of life.

[lukalee]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

Suki, You can only worry about your actions. Obviously your sister is not perfect. And yes, obviously your mother chose you because she knew you to be responsible and loving, and she could trust you after her departure from this human life.
Shikakai, What part of you really loves the drinking. For me, it is a very small part of me. It is the small part of my brain that wants to forget responsibility, hurt, loss, depression, and the stupidity in the world. But, there is so much more of me than that little piece of brain, and so are you. We are all kind, giving, opinionated, special, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, and spiritual beings. Hell, in my mind, I'm a stinking ROCK STAR.
But really, open your heart instead of that nasty little turd in your head that says that drinking is really that great, because obviously if you are thinking of suicide, it really is not your friend. The friends that I like to keep don't make me feel like shit, or guilty, or cry, or make my makeup smear across my face. What they do is hold me close when I am down. And then pick me up and lead me in the right direction.

[Shikakai]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

It feels good the first two or three drinks but by vodka martini number six or seven and continuing to count, I go into that "place" where my depression and anger collide and then I think about the gun.

If I could only satisfy myself with one or two drinks, I would be fine. But one drink is too many and the bar isn't nearly enough *cry*

Suki, sorry you're having family troubles. I also have a sister who has made my life and the lives of my parents (dad is gone now-rest his tired soul) a living hell since the day she showed up and then had the nerve to bring a son into it who is now driving my mother even crazier than my sister.

[Mattje]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

Mags;245278 wrote: drink some nice tea

Good advice, Mags. I've discovered there is a whole world of tea I had no idea about.

[vixta]

Well... I was doing okay for three days and then last night...

:new:
Hi everyone, just found this site, got me a laptop for xmas, am sat in bed awake yet again at 4.30am, I was reading through what everyones been saying when I came across Shikakai's post, girl, that aint you talking, alcohol is a powerful chemical depressant, thats whats making you feel like that, i have felt like that over the years. Don't let it beat you by taking your life away, dust yourself off, and stop feeling guilty, it's not your fault like it isn't anyones fault, I stopped drinking for a year once by reading Allen Carrs Easyway to stop, I started drinking again coz I thought I'll be able to stop again by reading the book, now when I read the book it only lasts for a week, then I'm drinking again!! So thanks everyone for being here and is that picture really you Shikakai, and can i call you Shik? It could be worse darling, you could also have a cannabis addiction like me to have to kick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and an eating disorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And loads of debt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Can anyone recommend any sites for my cannabis addiction similar to this one???????
What is this book you all speak of?
I'm going to take your advice mags and drink some nice tea tonight and read success stories on here and chat,quite excited actually to not get drunk, trouble is I won't sleep, open to suggestions. Happy to have found this site and all of you. To know I'm not alone, and not a bad person.
xx