How do you moderate?

[Shikakai]

I have tried to moderate, unsuccessfully.

What are your methods of moderation? Tips?

I know one thing, I can't drink ANYTHING with sulfites in it :bang

At least I've figured THAT much out. Sulfites hurt too much.

Any suggestions? Thanks!

[cuckoosnest83]

How do you moderate?

Hi Shikakai, I can't moderate so can offer you no help there. I know in the book it recommends doing 30 days AF before trying to moderate. Wishing you success.

Cuckoo

[Shikakai]

How do you moderate?

Oh! Thanks, Cuckoo... I didn't know that.

[KateH1]

How do you moderate?

Shikakai,
From what I have learned, not everyone is able to moderate. I have read some of your other post's, you have a lot of people very concerned about your extreme depression and talk of suicide and guns. You sound very fragile right now. I truly wish that you would see a Doctor in regards to your depression and also consider going AF for at least a month. Then, you can consider trying to mod if you still want to.

I am being straight up with you Shikakai, I think that is the most loving thing to do for you.

Best Wishes,
KateH

[betty boop]

How do you moderate?

Shikakai,

I haven't 'met' you yet, but have read your recent posts .......

Kate is right, tough love is the way to go, 30 days AF before you moderate is the best thing, you've talked about buying a gun!!! Suicide is NOT the way out!!!!

Satori has told you how good you will feel AF, listen to him, he is right. When I first found this place I was a mess...... drinking from 6am every morning ........

Life really does get better when you quit the drink ..... ask my family ....

Take care love,

BB xx

[Mattje]

How do you moderate?

I moderate by taking small steps--I plan to have a cup of tea before bed, and I plan on having a last drink at 8.

If I get home at 6 or so, that means I'll have 2 or 3 drinks. Not too bad for a start.

(I'm new here, just found this today. Talked with my wife about cutting down, so I'm going to start moderating, then go af for awhile.)

[memarcie]

How do you moderate?

I agree with the 30days AF. It is the best way to go. How else will you know if you can just have the occasional drink like "normal" drinkers if you can't give it up for a mere 30 days?

[trixietrack]

How do you moderate?

AF is the way to go when you first start out. I must say that moderating is not easy, it takes a lot of will to be able to have just one or 2 after being a heavy drinker.
I you suffer from depression this might even add to the difficulties of moderating.
AF is the way to start off.

much luck

Trix

[nancy]

How do you moderate?

I am with Kate on this one. Aside from the relationship problems caused by alcohol, which cause depression, drinking also causes physical changes that make you depressed.

You are best off taking a break and seeing if you feel better. And I bet you will!

[satori]

How do you moderate?

Shikakai,

I also found I needed to get "distance" from alcohol before I could make a rational decision re AF or moderation.

For what it is worth, I found Mods to be almost as stressful as when I was drinking.
I was STILL obsessing about alcohol, how much to drink, when and where I could "allow" myself to drink etc etc etc.
When I was moderating - I always felt like I was denying myself something - having to put the brakes on all the time.

After a couple of weeks AF - I realised how much easier it was to be AF -I only feel a sense of complete "freedom" now.
No more stressing / obsessing about alcohol - no more worrying if the moderation is not so moderate as it was etc.

I now know that I do not want to drink - even in moderation - life is SO much easier and nicer and more FUN AF

Just my experience - BUT - I found I didn't really understand all this until I had been AF for a while.

Try the 30 days - see where it leads.

Mine led to a brand new life!

(Interesting choice of username BTW!)

Satori

xxx

[Shikakai]

How do you moderate?

KateH1;245655 wrote: Shikakai,
From what I have learned, not everyone is able to moderate. I have read some of your other post's, you have a lot of people very concerned about your extreme depression and talk of suicide and guns. You sound very fragile right now. I truly wish that you would see a Doctor in regards to your depression and also consider going AF for at least a month. Then, you can consider trying to mod if you still want to.

I am being straight up with you Shikakai, I think that is the most loving thing to do for you.

Best Wishes,
KateH

I want to see someone about my depression, but I'm scared to because I'm afraid it will haunt me down the line. I work for attorneys and I see how they find out stuff about people. It's too embarassing/humiliating.

I tried to "moderate" last night... yea, ME! Uh huh! I feel like sh**! Over drank and am paying the price.

I am so afraid I will not be able to ever stop drinking. It's killing me and I don't even think I care anymore.

No more gun talk because my mother would never survive it. She's the only reason I'm still here.

I'm not making anymore promises; I wish I could do a 30-day detox; maybe "check-in" somewhere, but I do not have the means or the time.

[Shikakai]

How do you moderate?

MM;245679 wrote: I moderate by taking small steps--I plan to have a cup of tea before bed, and I plan on having a last drink at 8.

If I get home at 6 or so, that means I'll have 2 or 3 drinks. Not too bad for a start.

(I'm new here, just found this today. Talked with my wife about cutting down, so I'm going to start moderating, then go af for awhile.)

I keep trying to find ways to "moderate" and they have all failed... at least I am off until the New Year... maybe I can pull myself together. Still haven't thought seriously about taking any meds to reduce the cravings.

Still have thoughts of experimentation, but nothing seems to work with me moderating.

Good luck to you. I was watching a court reality show today and the guy said he had been sober 120 days... I cried wishing it were me.

[Shikakai]

How do you moderate?

memarcie;245683 wrote: I agree with the 30days AF. It is the best way to go. How else will you know if you can just have the occasional drink like "normal" drinkers if you can't give it up for a mere 30 days?

Yea, HOW is right. I can't seem to give it up for 300 minutes.

I wish I was normal... I wish...

[Shikakai]

How do you moderate?

Satori... I just don't see 30 days... I tried very hard not to drink yesterday, but the closer I came to leaving the house, the stronger the "pull" was. I was supposed to read the book before leaving... I'm not even sure where I put it.

Today is a new day. It's almost 5am here in Cali. I have to take the car to the service department, and I better be sober then. My head is KILLING me and I didn't exercise yesterday and it's doubtful I'll exercise today with everything I'm feeling right now.

Didn't wash my face last night; didn't put my hair away; contact lenses are only God knows where. Hope I parked my car in its proper position.

I don't know. Maybe with the New Year I can try and do the 30 day thing. If I can just get past day three... that seems to be my limit. I'm not even thinking of moderating. That's out!

Thanks to all of you... I wonder if me expressing my continual pain is good for others who are struggling, though.

[satori]

How do you moderate?

Don't think about 30 days then - just.......... today!

Yep - day 3/4/5 are bad - but after that it DOES get easier.
About day 3-5 your addiction is trying its hardest to reel you back in!
After that - you have cracked it!

The 30 days will then be here before you know it.



You CAN do it - if I can YOU can!

You obviously hate the way you are living now.

Think of it like Chief said - it is really just like a dose of the flu - you feel crap for a few days - and then it passes.

When you recover from THIS flu tho' you are not just like you were before - you have a wonderful, healthy enjoyable life - FREE from the addiction that is ruining your life at the moment.

A Craving for alcohol will not kill you - sit down and really look at what you are feeling - NOT what you are thinking.

Craving just feels like a strange achey crawly feeling in your stomach - that is ALL.
Nothing more than that going on physically.
You can cope with THAT!

The problem is not the feeling - it is the THOUGHTS that go with it.
If you allow yourself to give in to the mental rubbish like "I feel awful" "I really need a drink" "I can't stand this" "Its not fair" etc etc
THAT is what makes you fail.
You fail because you believe the mental rubbish your brain is producing.
Just sit down and look at these thoughts as they arise - and realise - these are ONLY THOUGHTS - it is NOT - I repeat NOT compulsory to act on them!

See them for what they are - transitory "noise" being played in your head in response to your addiction.
When they arise - see them for what they are - and gently replace them with something more appropriate. (like "OK - another thought about alcohol - time to go tidy out that drawer I have been meaning to do for ages" or - "time to exercise"
And then turn your attention to that.

Another trick is to FULLY occupy your consciousness by INTENTLY concentrating on every little thing you are doing when a craving starts.

What brand of toothpaste do you use? How full is the tube? What colour is the toothpaste? What colour / patterns are on yout toothbrush? Do you start brushing your teeth top left / bottom left etc of your mouth? Do you leave the water running while you brush? What is the temperature of the water? What does the water smell like? What does the toothpaste REALLY taste like? Try to brush your teeth with your other hand - what is that like?? etc etc etc ....... and that was just while brushing your teeth - think what you could do with your whole day.

Most of us go thru the whole day on automatic pilot - not really being there - because we are listening to the incessant mental chatter from our brains instead of actually experiencing our lives.


Don't WISH you could do it - Just.....DO it ........you have the power - we all do!


Love

Satori

xxx