Hi, New and after advice!

[hazel180]

Hi, Myself and my partner are new to all of this forum stuff so please excuse any mistakes.
Im 30 year old male who has been drinking pretty much every day for 10 years and my partner of 12 years is 37 years old and has been the same for give or take 20 years.
We are both desperate to quit in the new year but very afraid of effects.My mother died last year from liver failure due to drink, but it only kicked in when she suddenley quit the beer. Is it dangerous to stop dead after all this time? Had varying opinions from people.
If gradually cutting down is the answer then by how much and how often?
Neither of would ever admit or talk to Dr's, so are hoping for some good advice from you guys.
Many thanks in advance.
:new:

[Cinders]

Hi, New and after advice!

Hazel,

I am definitely not a doctor, so I cannot speak to the suddenly quitting causing liver failure. I can speculate that she suddenly quit because she knew by her symptoms that she was already very sick. I am so very sorry for your loss.

As to how to best quit? If you can quit cold turkey without meds, that is best. Period.

However, there is danger in quitting cold turkey if you are in an advanced alcoholic stage and some simple meds taken for a week or two will keep you safe.

If you refuse to go to a doctor (why, oh why are we like this?) and you are in an advanced stage, cutting back is one way to go. Several on this site have done it but most who try it fail. It is called alcoholism. We take the "dose" and the poison is in our body and affecting our mind and off we go on another binge. This ends up being pretty destructive.

You know, I went to a doctor who did not know me at first. I told them I did not have insurance and paid cash for the visit. This alleviates all the worries about anonymity. I then went to a pharmacy I did not frequent and paid cash for the meds.

Unfortunately or actually very fortunately, I ended up finally having to go the whole route and getting into rehab. I am a serious alcoholic and so serious measures must be taken, brooking no worries about anonymity. I am not ready to die yet.

My wishes for the best for you and your partner. You can beat this and if you do, you will both be so grateful you did.

Strength to you both,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Hi, New and after advice!

Hazel,

I am definitely not a doctor, so I cannot speak to the suddenly quitting causing liver failure. I can speculate that she suddenly quit because she knew by her symptoms that she was already very sick. I am so very sorry for your loss.

As to how to best quit? If you can quit cold turkey without meds, that is best. Period.

However, there is danger in quitting cold turkey if you are in an advanced alcoholic stage and some simple meds taken for a week or two will keep you safe.

If you refuse to go to a doctor (why, oh why are we like this?) and you are in an advanced stage, cutting back is one way to go. Several on this site have done it but most who try it fail. It is called alcoholism. We take the "dose" and the poison is in our body and affecting our mind and off we go on another binge. This ends up being pretty destructive.

You know, I went to a doctor who does not know me at first. I told them I did not have insurance and paid cash for the visit. This alleviates all the worries about anonymity.

Unfortunately, I ended up finally having to go the whole route and getting into rehab. I am a serious alcoholic and so serious measures must be taken, brooking no worries about anonymity.

My wishes for the best for you and your partner. You can beat this and if you do, you will both be so grateful you did.

Strength to you both,
Cindi

[betty boop]

Hi, New and after advice!

Hi Hazel and partner :welcome: to MWO .....

Depending on how much you are drinking will determine how bad the cold turkey will be, there are some links on the need help section regarding withdrawal ......

All that I can say is that it is possible to kick it, this site is amazing there are people here who can really help ....

Keep reading and posting and keep us informed .......

BB xx

[Mags]

Hi, New and after advice!

Welcome Hazel and partner

If you go back one click to where all the forums are listed you will see that two forums down from this one is the Need Help ASAP (or something like that) forum. Click on that and you will see that the very first thread is titled something about for those who may be in withdrawl. Click on that. There is lots of very important and useful information there about withdrawl. You should read that before quitting cold turkey if you have concerns. At least it will give you the warning signs of potential problems you may encounter and give you some idea what to expect.

You may choose to cut down slowly to go cold turkey. You should spend some time reading here and definitely keep in close touch with us the whole time. We are here to help every step of the way. Also please download and read RJ's book and since you don't want to see a doctor for prescriptions, think seriously about taking the supplements RJ recommends, especially the kudzu and the L-glutamine which you can order very inexpensively from this site.

Whatever you do, please keep in touch. Good luck. You can do this and we will definitely do all we can to help.

:welcome:

[Chief]

Hi, New and after advice!

Hi Hazel and Welcome to MWO...

If you have been drinking a lot for a very long time, quitting cold turkey can be a serious health threat. You can have DT's and seizures. If you think that's the case then talk to a doctor.

Now, that being said, the majority of people can quit drinking cold turkey without medical supervision. I was a heavy drinker for 30 years. When I quit I was drinking about 15 beers a day and had been for a long time.

I read the MWO book, took the recommended vitamins and supplements, along with l-glut and kudzu, and I listened to the cd's. Drink lots of water, too. You are flushing and purging all the toxins and poisons you have put into your body.

The first 3-5 days are the hardest. You are going through the physical withdrawl. You might experience nervousness, anxiety, chills, sweats, and just an uncomfortable, uneasy feeling. But you can get through it. You have to make a committment that you will not take a drink no matter what you think or feel, and I mean no matter what. Having your partner do this with you can really be helpful. You can support one another.
During the first few days, if you are getting antsy, find something to do. Any form of exercise really helps. I would go to the gym or go running if I was having a hard time. I also lived on this site. Come on here and read and post..go into chat...whatever it takes to keep you busy and away from the drink. There are always people here who will help you get through the rough patches.

It's all about your attitude and your committment. You have to go into it with the idea that failure is not an option. Taking a drink is not on the table. The first few days, it's a battle, so treat it that way....play to win.

The initial 3-5 days are physical withdrawl...but it's no worse than having the flu. Look at it that way. If you have the flu, you take care of yourself, let it run it's course, and it will go away. Same here. Don't make it bigger than it is. Most people come out of it and say it wasn't THAT bad. We are pretty tough when it comes down to it...

So, you and your partner talk about this. You can download the MWO book if you want. Make a committment to yourself and eachother to change your life. Arm yourself with info and attitude. Then just do it.

You can do this. I'm no stronger than you and I did it. You just have to want it...

We're all here to help and support you..

Have a Happy New Year

Don

Day 143 AF

[Shikakai]

Hi, New and after advice!

So your mom got ill AFTER she stopped drinking? Are you saying if she had continued to drink, she would have been okay? That's a terrifying thought!

I don't have any advice, but I wish you and your partner the best... God knows this is going to be the hardest thing ANY of us will ever have to face. QUITTING!

[Shikakai]

Hi, New and after advice!

Thanks for that wonderful advice, Don... man, I needed that!

No plans to drink, I don't care what day it is. It's just an excuse to get slammed, and I'm not participating in that sh** anymore!

I feel anxious already imagining going places sober... going to work sober... going to my mom's house sober... going anywhere. I feel nervous. I don't know how to "act" sober.

[jaxbungee]

Hi, New and after advice!

cutting back/quitting

I found the kudzu supplements to be helpful, recommended from a non-US site (which happened to be the first one I found). They recommended 1 pill, 3 times per day - and if I started them in the afternoon - even washing them down with my first (or first couple) mixed drinks, they certainly cut the urges.

When I switched, later in the evening to straight booze, they didn't work so well.

Yesterday, I decided that when my bottle was empty, it would be the last time I'll ever quit booze again. I didn't drink in college, and only started 8 years ago when I started a new relationship.

I figure I'll come back here and read the message boards when I feel the urge to slip; I also plan to join a gym, and in the meantime pull out the bike or the dog leashes.

- Good luck

[Lou]

Hi, New and after advice!

Hi Hazel and partner and welcome,
Its hard to advise you healthwise as im not a doctor...when i was at my worst when i first came here i was drinking a bottle of vodka a day and had been for quite a while. so my withdrawals were pretty severe when i just tried to stop with no help.
I ended up in hospital and they were actualy quite helpful, i was kept in and given a drug called librium to aliviate the symptoms of withdrawal and i was also given a very strong vitamin B complex to take each day as alcohol seriously depleats this much needed vitamin making us feel even worse. My liver and kidneys were given an ultrasound each day to check the damage....and the progress of my recovery.
The liver can recover remarcably well if its treated correctly.

I would say give it a go and try stopping but bear in mind that this can be dangerous depending on the levels of dependancy you both have...and if things get too tough for you seek help...i know youve said you dont want to do this but i was exactly the same and believe me if your prescribed medication that can take all those horrid feelings of withdrawal away its worth swallowing your pride and doing it.

If seeking medical help really isnt an option for you id say...invest in really strong vitamin B and thiamin complex tablets....also milk thistle both will help to heal your liver. As for the physical withrawals i found the best thing that helped me was to bathe in epsom salts...as they help to remove all the toxins from your body.

Just be good to yourselves....chill out and let it work its way out of your system.

Hope this helps and best of luck to you both...stay here...keep reading and posting, its a great place.

Love

Lou-Lou x x x

[kingfisher]

Hi, New and after advice!

:welcome: Hazel & company. Kinda in the same vote as you. My brother in law (who drank heavily for 30t years, bit the big one about 8 years after he quite drinking) (for various medical reasons.) It all happened very unexpectedly (almost overnight.) I ask myself, If he never quite drinking would he still be around.(SCARRY THOUGHT). The way I see it, Ive been drinking heavely for 25t years now. The drinking just keaps getting more & more as time go's on. If I continue the way Iv'e been going, I'd be lucky to live a couple more years before my luck runs out, or my body gives in. For me it's an nobrainer, go for it, Stop Drinking, I don't want to spend whatever time I have left Drunk , stupid,hungover,unreliable,uncaring,unfeeling,etc, etc,etc,not good for much, feeling like a bag of :soapbox:anyway .Hope it helps. HAPPY NEW YEAR. K F

[FinallyRN]

Hi, New and after advice!

Welcome Hazel and Co,

I just want to say one thing. You mother would have had liver failure either way.............cutting back or cold turkey. The damage was done over years and not because she all of a sudden changed her habit. I am sorry for your loss.
This is my opinion but cutting back is not going to work because if it did, you'd be doing that already and therefore could control your comsumption..doesn't sound like thats the case. If withdrawls becomes too much you will need to seek medical attention.
Take the vitamin supplements recommended, they helped me in the past. Also drink lots of water. I see you're writing from the UK. Look for vitamin drinks that restore sodium potassium, minerals, the stuff you drink after excercising or being sick. It'll help. And again we're here.
Good luck