Happy New Year

[HollyBerry]

This is my first post, it is a new year, and after several attempts to quit drinking- here I am trying again.
I am 50 years old, have been drinking since teens, some years problematic, others not so. The worst thing is hearing from my husband about things I did, and don't remember. I only hope my three sons don't have too awful memories, as most of my drinking was done when they were in bed. It's odd - I wake up in the morning, (don't suffer from hangovers much - most would be a headache) and have no need for alcohol, even the thought of it doesn't appeal -
I wouldn't dream of drinking during the day, but it's like an alarm goes off in my body around 6pm - ding - cocktail time - and even though the first taste of alcohol is not pleasant, I still carry on - i drink by myself - have extra bottles stashed away - to make out that I am a normal drinker - but have that extra stash to "top myself up" as other people don't need as much as I
Hope this is a happy new year for all who post here - and best wishes and good luck for the forthcoming year
:new:

[rustop61]

Happy New Year

Hi HollyBerry and :welcome:

You have come to a great place. You sound just like me, 46, drank since teens. A lot of the drinking done while the kids were in bed but now as they are older they see more. Like you would never drink during the day but once pm comes its like a bell goes off. Drank every day for about 12 years but since finding MWO, had 90 Days AF in 2006 and 120 in 2007. I would love to be AF 99% of the time but be able to enjoy a nice glass of wine with a meal when we go out. Achieved that a few times in December but I was driving so knew I could not have more than half to one glass. The more AF time you get under your belt the easier it gets. I plan to be AF for all of January. There are loads of 30 Day threads on the boards and there is also a ODAT, one day at a time thread. Read, read and join in, there is loads of support there.

Rustop

[slightlysuze]

Happy New Year

:welcome: HollyBerry

Oh that rings a bell lol! I think so many of us here can relate to that time in the late afternoon when you hear that 'ding'.......and off you go! I found the first few days/weeks of AF I would still hear the ding but managed not to do my usual response...luckily after a while the ding sound gets quieter and quieter and although it wouldn't do to be complacent about it I can honestly say that 5pm (my witching hour!) goes by now without me noticing it....it's a matter of sticking power and really sorting out what you want in your life....SO....Good Luck for 2008, Hollyberry.....you will find loads of support here to help you on your way!



Suze xx

[betty boop]

Happy New Year

Hollyberry :welcome:

I spent years doing exactly the same, but 18months ago started drinking during the day as well, that scared me but I didn't get my act together properly till this time last year. I thought that I didn't suffer from hangovers but when you go AF and find out how good you feel in the morning you actually realise that you did have hangovers after all.

I now choose to Mod rather than AF, and I realised today that the last time that I was really drunk was new years eve 2006!!!!!

You CAN do this ....

All the best, BB xx

[Eastender]

Happy New Year

Hi Hollyberry and:welcome:

I too am 50 years old and have same story, since joining MWO in October have managed to get 51 days AF ,I am so grateful for that. I am starting a 30day AF from today and would like to go further but I prefer to take ODAT to cope. They soon mount up!

Good luck to you

Eastx

[Winefree]

Happy New Year

Welcome Hollyberry

Mid fifties here. Joined in November. Still working on the ODAT and not always succeeding. Hoping the New Year will improve my outlook and give me strength. Drinking in the PM for years to help me sleep at night. Try to limit what AL is in the house, since it all goes down too fast. Every morning I say I'll make it through the day, but that ding goes off for me too and I cannot make it home without stopping for AL.
I am hoping this year I will be more winefree.

[dexterhead]

Happy New Year

Hi Hollyberry: similar story for me .. also pretty much a nighttime drinker. so tired of the damage it's doing, etc.... I am going to try very hard this month. We will all prop each other up!!!!
Winefree: your post rang a bell ..one of my great fears is not being able to sleep without AL. always had a lot of trouble with insomnia before I started drinking every day. sorry to hijack thread ... maybe I'll start another

[Gumby]

Happy New Year

This is the place to be. You will soon find that there are alot people with the same type of habitual drinking you are talking about. I call it habitual because like you said ,don't really need it most of the time it is just what we do after 5 pm. When you try to interfere with that habit, your mind gets a little cranky and obsessed with the thought of having a drink...mine was wine. One thing I have learned since being here is there will be times you have set higher expectations for yourself only to fall short and then you say well i guess this was going to work but I guess it's not. So back to square one. Remember you came here for a reason, you want to change and the older we get the harder it is, but you are taking a step in the right direction. Make them small and you will find a greater sense of achievement. The road will be bumpy, just keep coming back and reading. No room for shame here we have all been there and are still experiencing it. Feels good to let go here. Just ramble and this reply is a fine example of rambling.....sorry. Your story just struck such a similar chord with me I need to ramble a little.So good luck to you!!

[mountainmama]

Happy New Year

I'm glad you are here. I will pray for you to find the strength to beat this. I can relate to your story as well. I get antsy by six pm if I haven't had my first beer. My kids think its normal for mommies and daddys to drink this much. Today is day 1 for me, and I'm dreading tonight. Planning to go see I am Legend at the theater. Hoping changing the routine a little will help. Good luck to you, post often, it instills hope to have so much support!
Krystal

[Rags]

Happy New Year

Good Morning Holly berry,
Well, what a similar story we seem to have. The 6 pm drinking mechanism kicks in every time!! I too started in early twenties, and am now in my late fifties, but sisnce joining MWO have had a reasonable success in AF days and moderating. My aim is to go completely AF. This will happen within 2 months.
Having the confidence and belief that YOU have control, and taking things in small slices has worked for me. And not beating up on yourself if you have a slip...... that only heightens and emphasises our feeling of unworthiness, remorse etc etc.
So, welcome, and best wishes that you will achieve your aims.

[Fat Cat]

Happy New Year

Hi HollyBerry
This is my fisrt post too.
My story could mirror yours almost.
I'm forty in a few weeks, been drinking heavily for past 10 years, binging for a few before that since my mid twenties. In fact, now I reflect, I haven't had a day AF for around 8 years.
Oh yes, the afternoon alarm - so true.
Never wanted a drink in the daytime. If I work late shifts (unfortunately don't do many of those now) and don't get home until say 11pm, I'm not bothered or thinking about it, but as soon as I get through the door - I'm drawn to the wine or whisky. Why can't I just go to bed? I can drink wine like cordial while making the evening meal.
Never got hangovers - although I suppose the raging thirst when I get up is hangover.
Can drink a lot but never like to get drunk. So far never made myself ill through alcohol as I'm phobic about throwing up. However, it seems to me the last few weeks I have had time off work and going out with husband, drinking from lunchtime, I feel jittery and tremulous the next day - great when I get up at 6am - it comes on a few hours after I get up - say 10am. I'm in bed by 9pm generally - do have blackouts where I don't remember some of the previous evening or what I ate for dinner, although I function and don't literally collapse or aything. And I have been getting overwhelming sweats and nausea. Wake up call I think!!
I'm considered a successful person who has everything - even more shamefully I work with people with alcohol dependency among other mental illnesses - people think just because you are a trained professional, you shouln't or wouldn't have any such problems or behaviours - but we are human and it gets all of us - there are plenty of health professionals out there with the problem - I know because I deal with them sometimes. Makes me a hypocrite? I don't lecture or judge - that wouldn't be therapeutic - but I can sincerely empathise - but I have to hide my problem all the more I feel. Could not seek help locally. I'm a harsh judge of myself for not having the control.
Would like to moderate, with most days per week AF. I'm jealous of those who can enkoy a glass of wine or two with a meal and be satisfied.
I even have a private stash sometimes, so I can top up and it not look like I'm drinking more than anyone else. What shameful behaviour.
This has also made me obese and I hate everything about the hold it has on me.
So it starts today.
Wish me luck.
Didn't mea to hjack your thread Hollyberry, just identifying with you then got carried away. Bee afraid to post before.
Best wishes to all in 2008 on our personal journeys.

[HollyBerry]

Happy New Year

Thanks to all of you for your messages of support- you are right - it does help to know that there are others in the same boat, and that you are not such a bad person after all
Will keep an eye on the message boards, - and a happy and hopeful new year to all
Best wishes

[cmhguy3]

Happy New Year

I was sporatic AF thru Dec, but today is my fourth day of my first 30 I plan on being AF. I am finding so much comfort and encouragement from all the postings I have read today including yours. It is not just me! I to have that inner 6 o'clock ding. I also realized today what it is to not wake up hungover! WOW what a feeling!

Good Luck, we can all help each other. The best thread I read today that hit home was "What I hate about drinking". It will make you laugh and cry and maybe see yourself all at the same time...

AF 2008!

:goodjob:

[Harlequin]

Happy New Year

Boy! Do I ever hear the same bell! Mine goes "ding" about 4 PM every day. If I can manage to get through till about 7 PM it goes away, oddly enough. It's just that 3-hour time period that is such a terrible struggle.

Harlequin
:new: too!

[Cinders]

Happy New Year

Harlequin,

:welcome:

We are glad you are here. Wow, if you only have a three hour window to get through, you can definitely do this!!

Nip it in the bud before it becomes a 24 hour window, please? It gets much harder.

Love and Strength to all of you,
Cindi