Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

[rustop61]

Good morning everyone

Hope you all got through Friday night ok. Like the first few days the first week-end is the hardest when you are starting out. Do whatever it takes to get you through it. Go to a movie, volunteer to drive somewhere. My hubby still enjoys his wine so there is constantly alcohol in the house which presents its own challenge. When I did slip it was because it was there. If you can avoid having it in the house, do that, it makes it easier. However, I am the one with the problem not him so I am learning to deal with it. I stock up on AF wine (not great Bessie but sometimes helps) and AF beer which I think tastes better but I wasnt really a beer drinker. Last night I had a few AF beers while watching the movie and for a change I wasnt the one nodding off and watched it to the end and went to bed sober. Instead of feeling deprived at not having the wine I felt pride at being sober.

Enjoy the week-end everyone.

Rustop

[Suki411]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Good morning. Again, Rustop, thank you for your thread. Last night was very difficult for me. Have tried AF wine in the past. Will try AF beer.

Good luck to all today!

[universal]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Hi everyone, 6am here. I had a really rough night as those on chat can attest to. I went to my boyfriends house last night and found out that he doesn't think that after a year and a half that he can do the single mother/daughter thing - it's too serious for him......

Needless to say I am a wreck. I went 7 years single after my divorce, have completely held out on love and finally decided to give it a go again. The only other person I dated for over a year was my husband, I don't give my heart lightly. I am very sad and depressed right now.

Sorry RN, I lost the battle............I had been saving a bottle of wine for us for Valentines day - last night when I came home from his house I was so angry I said F### him and I drank it...........do I feel better? Not really but right now I am so depressed I don't care. I can't stop crying...........I am glad my daughter is at her dad's this weekend cause I don't think I could cope. The shitty thing is if this was alchohol related then at least I could say okay, well I f@@@@ up and it's my fault and I screwed up but no..........I did nothing wrong this time and life still sucks, ya know guys? It makes it hard when I'm trying to better myself and shit is getting thrown at me.....................

Sorry, I'm just so incredibly sad right now..........I don't know what to do........I don't think I'm going to have a very good weekend.......

[Cinders]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Uni,

I am so sorry you are going through this. :l

My daughter went through it for years. Men were "interested" until they realized they couldn't call her up on a whim and go out. She has a child for heaven's sakes, what were they thinking?

Today she is married to a man who has two children of his own from a previous marriage. They met at a bar -- sigh -- but he doesn't drink much at all and he fell in love with her at first sight.

They are as happy as two people can be, despite some really scary things going on with my daughter. It is so heartening to see them hug/kiss/love on each other and even more heartening to hear Destiny call him daddy. She loves him, too!!

I am NOT demeaning the pain you are going through right now. How difficult that is. More hugs :l :l

What I am saying to you is to remember your child is the MOST important part of your life. Absolutely. Yes, it does require sacrifice and disappointment but in the end you know as well as I do, you do not want to bring someone into his/her life that will not and cannot absolutely adore and care for them.

You will find someone who cares, and cares deeply for you and your baby.

Do not let this deter you from being a happy, sober, loving mommy.

Take heart. It does happen and will happen.

Love,
Cindi

ps Please pray for my daughter. She is very sick and her hubby, her daddy and I are so worried about her. She has found happiness and we want it to be for a long time. (She is MY baby..)

[Suki411]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Universal, so sorry that you are going through this, especially when you have been doing so well. Went through something similar last night, but with my best friend.

Listen to Cindi. She is so wise. Things will work out in time.

Cindi, you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Will be thinking of you both today.

Suki

[Suzanna]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Universal, I am so sorry... you did everything you could to guard yours and your child's heart, but there are no guarantees even when we take every precaution. Someone may still disappoint you and I know your heart is broken. You will get through this, better if you do not hurt yourself while you process all of this. Big hugs :l

Cindi, I pray that your daughter will be alright. I'm sending prayers from not so sunny Florida to you and yours.

Hubby didn't come home last night, he may have stayed at a friends. He doesn't drink except on weekends and if he has too much, he stays over. I was AF last night so gonna add to my drink tracker.

[universal]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

thanks guys..........I'm going to have a rough day I know.......Cin.......thanks for your support on chat this a.m.............I need all the help I can get right now........


I love you guys thanks for all of your support.........

[Suki411]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Universal, we are all here for you. Glad you were able to chat this morning.

Will be thinking of you and look forward to seeing how you are doing today. :hug: Big hugs to you today.

[rustop61]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Universal, Cindi, my thoughts and prayers are with you both. Keep strong we are all thinking of you.

Rustop

[Eastender]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Universal and Cindi,
Ditto to RU's post. I searched for some words of comfort, but don't know what to say .........just that my heart goes out to you both and your daughters.

Eastx

[rudemama]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

hello, hungover free this morning what a joy. Universal take care of yourself you and your daughter are so worth it. Peace rudemama

[flutterby]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Good morning,
I will be praying for us all today, especially for the health of Cindi's daughter.
Seems like it is a tough time of year for a lot of folks. My goal for today is to reach out to someone in need -- this keeps things in perspective and helps me to get through the day. (I get a break from thinking about my ex-friend AL). The plan is to attend a benefit for an acquaintance who's daughter passed away (unexpectedly) over the holidays. So sad --he was very close to her and it goes without saying that this is very hard for him. The benefit is to raise money for him to have surgery for his own life-threatening condition. It is inspiring to me that he remains hopeful that things will get better. I can relate to that-- stuff happens but things WILL get better! Tomorrow is another day.
Take care all,
Fby
___________________________________________
"Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
-verse from Desiderata

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Uni,
I am so sorry for your pain today. There isn't a magic pill (or drink, I guess), that will cure your heart... especially since you truly loved this guy. You gave him your heart and soul, and he says, "thanks, but no thanks"???

When I was 26, I was a single mom with an 18 month old and a 3 year old (quick detour- I was in the Army and deployed to Saudi during first Gulf War. I came home 6 months later and my husband of 4 years left the next day... with his new girlfriend. I suddenly became a single mom, living in Frankfurt Germany). My next relationship was different than yours, because, eventually, my new boyfriend was "married but intending to divorce". Well, after 6 months, I told him to poop or get off the pot, and guess what happened, Uni.... he stayed with his wife. Man, I was crushed. Two failures in a row. The only thing that kept me alive then was taking care of my precious girls. I left the Army, came back to the States, and got a job in the "real" world. Keeping my girls happy was my only priority and I shunned all advances.
My happily ever after ending eventually did happen, but it wasn't easy for my wonderful husband of 13 years. I was fiercely independent and kept him at arm's distance from my heart for close to a year... until one day, he said, "Patty, why won't you let me in? Can't you tell that I love you?" (And he's not a very mushy guy.)

Uni, you WILL find your soulmate. Not tonight, or before Valentine's Day. He's out there, waiting for you..... be patient. Your paths will cross.

In my Prayers today,

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Cindy and everyone else, I'd like to share with you my favorite poem.


Peace of heart will come
when you hardly notice...
like the first star in the evening sky...
you need not strive for it, or seek it.
It will find you as surely as light dawns,
as purely as water bubbles from a mountain spring.

Time passes, and peace of heart
tiptoes softly into your days
and whispers in the night.
Be still.
All will be well.
I am here.:flower:

[universal]

Newbies in need ODAT - Saturday

Thanks Not so happy...........that was really nice.........and it's nice to kmow I'm not alone cause I really feel alone today...........

I really appreciate your words and the poem