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[onthegrand]

Hi Everyone,

I don't know where to begin... I guess I have been in denial for a number of years and the drinking has just gotten worse and worse. I do hide it well, or at least I thought I did until this weekend. Saturday night my husband and I were sitting around having a few drinks (a few for me is now a whole bottle of wine and a couple of beer). My son got upset about something and I went to talk to him and he basically asked me "why do I have to be drunk every night?" That shattered my heart into a million pieces. Then, the next day my daughter and I were talking in the kitchen and she told me that here friend said to her that "your mom get's drunk alot" and my daughter said, "it is true mom, you do". Again, my heart shattered. I don't know how it got so out of control. I find that when 5:00 p.m. hits, that I start craving a drink. I truly want to stop. What kills me is that I take health very seriously, I exercise, eat properly and do all the right things but cannot control my drinking. Today I am taking the steps necessary to stop. I owe it to my family and to myslef to live a life where I don't need to drink to deal with daily stress.

[buckledown]

Would love support

welcome...my daughter has spoken with me too..it is heart breaking...the worst thing..i totally understand...i feel you have to get better for yourself first...but use them for help...read and post all you can..this is a great place...i cant say enough about it...blessings ...buckle

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

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"Would love support" - you will get it here in buckets full! Welcome and stay close.
J

[treeman]

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OTG....this is a great place to get your feet wet on your way to moderation or to alcohol free.....read as much as possible, utilize other sources and set your course....come here often....

i too had my son ask me how many and why i drink beer...hits home in a hurry...it is always difficult to talk to someone that you love about your flaws....

walk forward....

[janka]

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Hi Onthegrande and a big welcome to you. I have heard the same things from my own children and it tore my heart out, but not enough to stop. Very said. I aonly stopped when a medical emergency was involved and thank god I am here to say that. Your children are resilient and will be thrilled once you are sober!!! They will breathe a sigh of relief as will you. The first days are the hardest but it does get easier day by day. This website has been a godsend to me and the people here are so supportive, inspiring, informative, smart and funny from across the world!! Please read a lot and post and join us in chat. Take good care of your body and you will feel much better soon. God bless you and yours, j

[Gumby]

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You tell a very common story here...take all the necessary steps, read the book, do the supplements, and the hypno cds help also. Keep coming back and read and post and soon will discover a way to recovery. The nice thing here is it is individual and we support you no matter what choices you make. Forgive yourself, you are human, you are taking a step in the right direction. We have all stumbled, learn from them, keep posting. Remember why you are doing this....to better you which in turn betters your family relations! Good luck

[janka]

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Also OTG, please let us know how you are doing, j

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

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Hi On the Grand- did you happen to take a peek at my life story? You sound like me- I too, thought I was fooling everyone. My oldest daughter is 20. When she was 18, we got in a big fight, and I remember her lashing out that I was always drinking, and that she was embarrassed to have her friends over because I'd be drinking... now, she didn't say DRUNK, just "drinking".... so I shrugged it off. Isn't that horrible?

Welcome... you aren't alone. When I decided to "stop drinking", I only told my husband. I drank a lot of water and took a Vitamin B complex. My "beer o'clock" was always about 5:30 pm, so I changed my habits. If you can, do SOMETHING different- anything... when your witching hour starts. Get on this forum, read, go for a walk, call a friend, exercise. If you need to, get the alcohol OUT of the house- even if your husband still wants to drink, ask him to keep it stored (hey, if it's not opened, he can leave it in the trunk of his car, right? And it won't be forever- just for the first couple of weeks.)

Lastly, I have pictures of me with my kids (from about 5 years ago.... my "before").... quietly posted in places, so that I remember WHY I'm not drinking anymore: there's one in my car, one in my planner, one in my book, and one on my refrigerator. Just remember that this is a physical condition, and while your heart clearly says, "Stop", your body will say "GO! JUST a little one! " The alcohol demon will rationalize every thought, think of every reason to drink, and justify every little drop. It's a hungry, greedy demon. The ONLY way to get rid of it is to starve it to death. Once you are back in control, then YOU can decide if you want to drink, and YOU can decide when to stop. Most of the people here say to give yourself 90 days alcohol free.

I haven't drank since Thanksgiving, and that's not to say it's been easy. I waited a month before I told my girls, because if I "failed", I didn't want them to be ashamed of me. I bawled on my 17 years old's shoulder on New Years Eve, because I was afraid I'd drink (talk about role reversal at it's finest, huh? )


Don't worry, On the Grand... you aren't alone anymore. We are ALL in the same boat, rowing along, one day at a time.:l If you stay the course, every day gets easier. I promise!

[onthegrand]

Would love support

Thxs for the support

Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement. Well, let's just say, it is 8:00 p.m., my husband just left for work (he is a police detective) and I am sitting here trying to justify why a beer (just 1, I tell myself) would do me no harm..... Instead, I decided to log on and found all of your wonderful words of wisdom and I don't feel so alone. It truly is amazing how much my body is trying to talk me into having that drink. I will be strong tonight!!!

[FinallyRN]

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If there's one thing you'll discover here is that there's a lot of mothers who have had the same expereince. Let see......which story should I tell you............how about being absolutely smashed and picking my son up at a one of his parties. I really embarrassed him. ( I wasn't driving, don't worry ) Or the time I caught my son instant messaging one of his close friends and they were talking about what a heavy drinker I am........devastating. I could go on but I think you get the point. We all support each other and we're all learning and getting better. Its there if you want it. Welcome

[Cinders]

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otg,

Your body is really screaming for that drink and then another one, and then one more and then...

Tell your body to FO!!

It is time to take control of your body and mind and soul.

We will always be here for you. 24/7. That is what I love about this site.

So many caring, loving individuals.

Hang in there, MOM, GIRL, whatever.

You CAN do this!!

Love,
Cindi

[Miss October]

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:welcome: On The Grand !

Your story is just quite like alot of us here. I'm a wine lover, and have been drinking wine nightly for over 20 years. Too bad we can't stop at just one or two glasses. Life would be great ! But yes, the drinking just gets progressively worse over the years. The habitual drinking does bring on that magic "witching hour" when it times to pop the cork.

You will get a lot of support from this group of people. Buy the book "My Way Out" and then decide how you would like to start your journey on the road to sobriety, whether it is abstinence all the way, or moderation, your choice.

Check out the ODAT Thread. There are many of us just taking it One Day At A Time. Good luck, and looking foward to your future posts.

[auntiegriselda]

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Just want to add my welcome too, On the Grand. There are many people here who have months AF now and everyone is very supportive. I'm on Day 5 AF for the second time. It feels SO good not to be all fuzzy headed and guilty!
See you around!
Auntie

[rustop61]

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Hi Onthegrand and welcome. I second everything Ms October and the others say. I'm a 46 year old mother and wine drinker of 20 years. Had 120 alcohol free days last year and 90 the year before. It is progressive and it took years to get to where I was. I am now reversing the process. I am on Day 8 AF at the moment and am aiming for 30 Days in January. I am taking it one day at a time. There is a newbies thread ODAT, come and join us.

Rustop

[onthegrand]

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Hi Everyone, Just to let you know that I made it through last night and I woke up this morning feeling very optimistic!! I know the next few days are going to be rough as my husband will be away. I really appreciate all of your support and have to say that it totally got me through last night! A million thanks!!