Newbies in need - ODAT
Babies I'm Amazed!
:new: Dear one and all,
Forgive if this arrives to you funky, but, I am learning here. I believel this is how to "post". I have clicked on Quick Reply to some Threads and I disappear, so, am not sure where these words will end up.
AF 3 days, to this moment.
It is unmentionable, or so it seems, how/when I drank and how much.
I am female and felt like an animal, crazed. All in secret/ privately in room where anyone outside my door was oblivious while I sank into my oblivion. They knew about "it" over these last 5+ years, but, now, I and this force to recon with tumble in battle in the dark until its got me by the throat and I awake the next day in enough fluids left to survive, yet, another day.
The suppliments, esp, the Kudzo are a help that are baffeling and up and comming to my glorious whats left of it, new life, today.
I can't believe I made it through one day, let alone , this being the 3 day.
Yes, "it" taunts me, snickering and mocking me that tomorrow and the next are "the "days off where I daze off into its grips and it bleeds me dry (what a dicotomy).
While saturated I am bled dry, but, this is the beautiful but I have.....and that is, all of you. Each and everyone of y o u precious, bright and loving souls.
I have been slipping into your light for about a month now. Gazing and learning, listening and crying from places that seem ancient. Especially these 3 AF days.
I like this. I like you, and am here as my eyes adjust to the light as I live this hell in total silent with not anyone in my public life really knowing , after years of me being in the familys judmental public eye.
What I have done in blackouts still renders me amazed and ashamed.
I am reading Turnabout by Jean Kirkpatick and it is so helpfull.
I am not alone.
If there is a way to respond to this and if I can find out how to find your response and my replies, I hope to hear "how" to do some of this.
I once received emails in private? How?
I have wanted to do the same, but, don't know how.
Is this called a new "thread"?
I know of all the drama that surrounds this condition, and I share with you that it is hard to find the words to state correctly how reclusive I am and lonely and yet, if you met me at the job place you would recieve me in my "mask" while I would cry out from the depths of my healing(scared too, for it paces in the outskirts of reason) that I want love and all its mysteries to welcome me amongst my own people.
Love,
Karen:h
Babies I'm Amazed!
:new: Dear one and all,
Forgive if this arrives to you funky, but, I am learning here. I believel this is how to "post". I have clicked on Quick Reply to some Threads and I disappear, so, am not sure where these words will end up.
AF 3 days, to this moment.
It is unmentionable, or so it seems, how/when I drank and how much.
I am female and felt like an animal, crazed. All in secret/ privately in room where anyone outside my door was oblivious while I sank into my oblivion. They knew about "it" over these last 5+ years, but, now, I and this force to recon with tumble in battle in the dark until its got me by the throat and I awake the next day in enough fluids left to survive, yet, another day.
The suppliments, esp, the Kudzo are a help that are baffeling and up and comming to my glorious whats left of it, new life, today.
I can't believe I made it through one day, let alone , this being the 3 day.
Yes, "it" taunts me, snickering and mocking me that tomorrow and the next are "the "days off where I daze off into its grips and it bleeds me dry (what a dicotomy).
While saturated I am bled dry, but, this is the beautiful but I have.....and that is, all of you. Each and everyone of y o u precious, bright and loving souls.
I have been slipping into your light for about a month now. Gazing and learning, listening and crying from places that seem ancient. Especially these 3 AF days.
I like this. I like you, and am here as my eyes adjust to the light as I live this hell in total silent with not anyone in my public life really knowing , after years of me being in the familys judmental public eye.
What I have done in blackouts still renders me amazed and ashamed.
I am reading Turnabout by Jean Kirkpatick and it is so helpfull.
I am not alone.
If there is a way to respond to this and if I can find out how to find your response and my replies, I hope to hear "how" to do some of this.
I once received emails in private? How?
I have wanted to do the same, but, don't know how.
Is this called a new "thread"?
I know of all the drama that surrounds this condition, and I share with you that it is hard to find the words to state correctly how reclusive I am and lonely and yet, if you met me at the job place you would recieve me in my "mask" while I would cry out from the depths of my healing(scared too, for it paces in the outskirts of reason) that I want love and all its mysteries to welcome me amongst my own people.
Love,
Karen:h
eace:
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