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[bald headed old guy]

:new:
Ok, I'm a mid-50's married male with a drinking problem. I have been looking for some solution to my addition for a period of time now; my wife, although very understanding, is getting tired of my drinking too much, as am I. I do drink just about every evening, sometimes only one or two, other times more than that. I have been able to continue to hold my job, etc. However, to really compound the mix, I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer and am having surgery on next Monday. I have looked at aa, but it really does not look like it would work for me. So I'm going to camp out here for a while and see if I can lean some things, perhaps after my operation I will look into the book and the program. I have not yet talked about this problem with my doctor, although I might after a while if I feel I need the drugs to assist in getting to moderation (which is where I want to end up). So any input anyone can send me would be appreciated.

[dexterhead]

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Hi BHOG! you've come to the right place to get lots of information. sorry to hear about your prostate cancer. don't have a lot of wisdom yet myself, but many others here do, it is an amazing group! keep posting

[slightlysuze]

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Hi BHOG....(love that handle!).....I would think that post-op is a good time to go AF.... and a spell of no drink at all is very helpful for restructuring what you do, whether it's full AF or moderating. Your body will need lots of tlc...so stock up on juices, supplements, lots of fruit and veg and rest yourself from the 'sauce'......maybe see how it feels after 10 days?

Good luck with the op.

Suze x

Dex....your avatar still makes me feel weird! :bonkers:

[bald headed old guy]

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Yeah, this past year was real rocky for us. We had to put my mother in a lockdown facility due to her inability to remember where she was, etc., had to sell her house. Then the cancer was initally diaganosed in August and we have been working through all the insurance loops to get treated. On theCan't bright side, our son, (youngest at 24) got marrried on new Years Day. and wife keeps telling me this will be a good year...but it is starting out pretty rough.

[bald headed old guy]

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Suze, I am thinking that i will not be doing any drinking after the operation..they don't serve martinis in the hospital! And that was part of my thought process, maybe the "forced" AF will help me get past the cravings stage. I see a lot of people on here write about the 5 day marker. Perhaps I can do that...we will see.

[Suzanna]

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Hi BHOG, welcome to MWO, we're glad to have you here. You will find that there are alot of folks in the same boat as you as far as the drinking concerns. There is alot you can do to be proactive while you await your surgery, ordering the book and supps. This year may have started rocky but I bet it will end very positively for you all. :welcome:

[bald headed old guy]

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It always seems so easy, on the way home from work, to decide I want to go home and have a drink. During the day I am pretty much OK, don't think too much about it (unlesss my head is hurting) and I even promise myself today will be the evening I don't drink. Then I get home, and, well, you all know the rest of the story. I get frustrated because there are things wife and I want to accomplish in our lives, and there are physical things I need to get done around the house (like finish two end tables I started a month ago) but it is so easy to sit down with a glass of wine or a cocktail. Wife normally does not drink very much, most evenings she does not drink any booze at all, just watches me try to make a fool of myself. So after all is said and done, I get upset at myself for being so weak and out of control, promise myself I won't do it again, go to sleep and the cycle starts over. Frankly, I'm tired of waking up uncomfortable; tired of choosing booze over health; tired of most of what has become my life. I guess I'm pretty patethic (sp). Come on, it's so bad I am talking to a group of strangers about it, from my hiding place behind a nickname! My mental state is pretty bad, and I want to crawl under a rock and stay there.

[KateH1]

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Hi OBG! Wow, all we need is the GYN! OOps! sorry.....just trying to make you smile!!

Well, welcome...glad you are here. First of all, getting the diagnosis "C", is not the end of life. I know this, as I am soon to be an 8 year survivor! Actually I consider my self more of a thrivor than survivor!

The more healthy, you are, body, mind and spirit, going into this, the quicker you recover. Why not start sooner than later. It is so easy to continue to put off the alcohol. We can be so crafty about stopping. Think of all sorts of "reasons" to put it off. But there is no better day to begin than today!

I hope that you stick around and that you gain the support that you need here!
Best,
KateH

[Growler]

Another new person

First, there's no judgement to be passed. You are to be commended for looking for a solution. The good news: YOU CAN DO THIS!!

I can tell you from experience that sometimes a small physical change can have a profound psychological effect.

Try this: If like me, you get to the evening hours feeling like you've 'earned' a period of relaxation on the couch which turns into a prolonged drinking exercise, move the television to a different room, or get rid of it altogether. In other words, make it inconvenient to do whatever you do when you start drinking.

I moved the tv out of the main living area in our house and started walking the dog at night as well as in the morning. The extra two and a half miles a day is doing some good, and there is no incentive to plop down and start drinking.

The most important thing is that you can't fail at this! The worst that can happen is that you start over more than once. In fact, what has been working for me is to forget about goals regarding abstinence. All I can say about drinking and the future is that I'm not drinking today. I might decide to have a drink tomorrow. But, that's a decision for tomorrow. I've decided to simplify my life and just deal with today. Having to carry the load for a decision that will affect the rest of your life is really too much to ask of anyone.

[Accountable for Me]

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:welcome: BHOG!

So sorry you have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. I hope everything goes well with you and your surgery.

[Ripple]

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Hi, I'm Ripple.....welcome to the forum. See you around.

Luv Ripple~
Shirl.:h

[Miss October]

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Welcome BHOG :welcome:

Consider today your lucky day. You have come to the right place. Most will not even consider AA (some have and do like it), but this community is full of compassionate and inspirational people. We are all here together on a journey to either quit or to moderate from alcohol. It is a personal choice. You will also see people slip, but get right back on their feet and start again. We are not giving up, until we have control over the BEAST.

Also I would like to say, one.....you are not old (the bald part I'm not sure of :H ) (did I get a smile from you ? )......two.....you are not pathethic (unless you walk around with your booze in a brown paper bag). You are no different than anyone of us. During the day we are fine, but when we get home from work, the beast is waiting for us.

I wish you the best of luck on your surgery. My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you can, order the book "My Way Out" and read it before the surgery, or afterwards while you are recovering. It will give you alot to think about.

And also congrats to you son who just got married. It will be a good year for you. Keep the faith !

One more thing, keep reading and posting, and before you know it, we will not be strangers to you any more.......we will be cyber friends

[bald headed old guy]

Another new person

Thanks to everyone for the support! And yes, Miss October, I am pretty much bald; the nickname comes from my son who calls my best fridnd and I "two bald headed old guys" and refers to me as BHOG on humorus occiasions.

[memarcie]

Another new person

BHOG - Welcome!

Your nickname reminds me the nickname my Dad had at work - FROG, Fricking Really Old Guy(Although a slightly different version :H ).

You can do this, why don't you start working on that table tonight after work - BEFORE you grab something to drink. You need to change your routine as well, do things to keep yourself busy and your mind busy.

[janka]

Another new person

Welcome BHOG! Yes, please visit chat in the evenings. When I first started, I could not wait to come home and chat with my MWO friends ... kept me busy, inspired and away from beer. Hope to chat with you soon, j