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    #1

    This Damn Pity Party

    Today is day 9 and I started out so strong. ... The bottom fell out with great aplomb.

    Had so many stress triggers today that I cried all the way home from work ... then circled the liquor block numerous times just itching to grab a bottle for a big ol "drink-n-drown" session. Feels as though every nerve in my body is standing at attention.

    Maybe this is one of the big humps ... I pray to God I get through it unscathed.

    You know how you KEEP SCORE with emotional issues ... then use them as triggers? Got caught up in the Holidays at Christmas time ... giving and shopping and working and loving and smiling and doing ... Today it dawned on me that the man I have been in love with for ages never even got me a freakin card! Not a gift, nuttin, nada, zippo! I think I kept busy and repressed this issue ... and am now using the ALLIE anger as a trigger.

    He's an inconsiderate ass. :xxx: :argh: I deserve to treat myself with kindness ... even if he is blind to my true worth. Skru him. Maybe I'd better go to bed before I rush the liquor store in me jammies.

    What a pathetic piece of work in which I allowed this day to evolve. Stay strong everyone. Please say a prayer for me. I am pulling for all of us.

    :upset: - Masq (determined to get thru day 10 .....)
    Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karl Barth
    :wings: :huggy
    Tags: None
    #2
    This Damn Pity Party

    Masq...this seems to be a downer day for a lot of us...me included. However. I will not break here on day 9....I'm holding out for the 30 days. I'm pulling for you, too.

    Comment

      #3
      This Damn Pity Party

      Masq, I feel your pain. Instead of going to the liquor store, treat yourself to something special. A massage maybe? Take care of yourself and screw the asshole (uncensored for you). Hugs, Lee
      Goal 1: Today
      Goal 2: Tomorrow

      Comment

        #4
        This Damn Pity Party

        Masq, I agree with juli86, it does seem like a difficult day for everyone!!! You should be incredbily proud of yourself that you are on day 9. That is a wonderful accomplishment. Stay strong, I like you, think I will just go to bed as I am really feeling the urge and trust me, it's quite easy for me as the bar fridge is full of beer, I have a 2 bottles of red wine sitting on my kitchen counter and a cabinet full of liquor. Everytime I open the fridge, I see a nice cold beer staring me down!!!! Best of Luck!!!

        Comment

          #5
          This Damn Pity Party

          onthegrand you sure are brave having all that booze in your house. I could never tempt myself like that.

          Masq, why don't you get even with your boyfriend by not drinking. Show him how strong you are. Show him how much you care about yourself. Do it for you. Don't let someone else dictate how you act. Decide now that you are not going to drink, that is not the person you want to be. You will feel better in the morning and be able to handle the whole situation better.

          Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

          Comment

            #6
            This Damn Pity Party

            I think you are where I was when I first quit. The emotions came upon me like a tidal wave. Ride it out. You are strong, and this does get better - I promise. We suppress so much being 'numb' by the drink. Letting those tears flow is a great start in healing.

            Sending you strength!

            Comment

              #7
              This Damn Pity Party

              Masquerade,

              I ditto AFM. It really HURTS being AF because we are so very much used to numbing all the feelings with alcohol.

              I truly hope you made it past the crisis. You have done so well and I want you to KEEP doing well.

              I saw you on chat tonight and you seemed AF. so I am hoping and praying you are.

              Not because it is a prerequsite for being here, it is not, but it is important to you and important to me to be AF and get past this damned addiction.

              I am with you. Let's get this done with. One day at a time.

              Love,
              Cindi
              AF April 9, 2016

              Comment

                #8
                This Damn Pity Party

                Hang in there Masq!

                Day 9 is over.
                Let's look forward to day 10 of booze free bliss!
                One foot in front of the other, a step at a time.

                Hugs!
                K
                Nov 1 2006 avg 100 - 120 drinks/week
                April 29 2011 TSM avg 70 - 80/wk
                wks* 1- 6: 256/1AF (avg 42.6/wk)
                wks* 7-12: 229/3AF (avg 38.1/wk)
                wks 13-18: 192/5AF (avg 32.0/wk)
                wks 19-24: 176/1AF (avg 29.3/wk)
                wks 25-30: 154/10AF (avg 25.6/wk)
                wks 31-36: 30/37AF (avg 5/wk )

                I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
                http://www.thesinclairmethod.net/community/

                Comment

                  #9
                  This Damn Pity Party

                  Sometimes I think I'm the only, or one of the few guys on this site who are active in these threads. When I read about the problems some of you have with your guys I want to court all of you, but that would probably be illegal as well as getting me divorced very quickly:bigwink: I'm coming up on my 26th anniversary, so I guess my success at staying together with my wife somehow makes me think I'm onto something?? I haven't figured out what though. If there's anything I can say from a guys perspective, (other then "why are all men such assholes?" cuz I don't know) ask away. I'm sure no Dr. Phil, but I do care.:hug:
                  Morgan
                  "uch: When you kick youreslf in the butt, all you get is a sore butt and a tired foot"

                  Comment

                    #10
                    This Damn Pity Party

                    Morgan,

                    What a kind post.

                    We simply want you to be AF or moderate (many of us simply cannot be and after reading your posts, I figure you are in that place.)

                    However, Good on you for being married for 26 years. I know that is not an easy task, either. My hubby sure wonders at the wisdom of it right now. God love him.

                    You are such a kind person, though. I am positive you will make it with your goals, whatever they may be.

                    Love,
                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

                    Comment

                      #11
                      This Damn Pity Party

                      OH, Masq, I am so sorry that you had such a trigger filled day. It is true, emotions do run high as do nerves when we stop using alcohol to numb our feelings. You are right to be hurt and angry not recieving so much as a card from your long time love! Shame on him! But, he does not deserve to hurt you again by driving you to drink!

                      I am very proud of you only circling the liquor store and having the determination and courage to keep driving!!! WooHOO!! Day 10 is only a few hours away!

                      Love,
                      KateH
                      A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                      AF 12/6/2007

                      Comment

                        #12
                        This Damn Pity Party

                        You're doing so well, Masq....be proud of yourself:l

                        Adding alcohol to the situation won't help it......it will still be there next morning.

                        Maybe when you have some more AF under your belt (and you WILL feel better and stronger then) you could talk this over with your man.....maybe he doesn't even know that it hurts you if he doesn't give you a card and gift at Christmas? Is he just lazy? Thoughtless? Or just an ars*hole? :H If it's the latter....the more sober you are the more you will be able to see whether you need him in your life.

                        Keep strong XX


                        Suze x
                        Just hand me the chocolate and.........I'll consider my position. My solicitor has advised me to say no more than that.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          This Damn Pity Party

                          Avatar

                          Hi Masq...

                          I'm new here and not AF yet but just wanted to encourage you.

                          Love your avatar! Like that beautiful bird, you can soar above all the arsholes below you. Just spread your wings and let the wind lift you up.

                          Hang in there,
                          Raven

                          Comment

                            #14
                            This Damn Pity Party

                            Si Iowegian, why are guys such assholes anyway?
                            Goal 1: Today
                            Goal 2: Tomorrow

                            Comment

                              #15
                              This Damn Pity Party

                              I will pray for you Masquerade. Hang in there. Bad times do get better. Tell your man exactly how you feel.

                              Comment

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