Oh boy. I am so glad I found this site. I have been reading through all kinds of threads and all the program info and feel like I finally found a place for me. I don't know how long I've had this horrible relationship with the bottle (probably about 6 years) but I know I want it to end.
The worst part is the shame. To everyone else - I'm a great mother, successful business owner, active in church and community and with my daughters girl scouts. But what would they think if they knew how many times I had a little something extra in my soda at a church meeting? or stopped at the store on the way home from girl scouts? or that every day pretty much around 4:00 it starts and the next day is a shock to see how much of that rum is gone?
I bought a book on nutrition last year and tried that - it worked for a few days. I went a whole 5 days in early December when I started a diet. Otherwise, its 2 - 3 days at the most and then I "slip."
My darling husband is a saint for sticking by me through every "this time" I've had but I want this to be THE time. I really hate the person I see in the mirror - both the outside with all the extra weight and wear of this hard living, and the inside for letting me be like this. I want to be in love with me again so I can maybe understand why my family still loves me through all this.
I called my doctor today and hopefully she is calling in Campral for me (she suggested that one when I asked her about it in November) without making me come in for an appointment. I know I can get through today on my own, but tomorrow is another story. I ordered the cds and downloaded the pdf of the book.
And knowing how many of you there are here - and reading stories of women who are like me - really means a lot. I hope to check in here a lot and report some successes here soon.
Wish me luck, and if you're of the praying nature, I'd appreciate being added to your list tonight.
The worst part is the shame. To everyone else - I'm a great mother, successful business owner, active in church and community and with my daughters girl scouts. But what would they think if they knew how many times I had a little something extra in my soda at a church meeting? or stopped at the store on the way home from girl scouts? or that every day pretty much around 4:00 it starts and the next day is a shock to see how much of that rum is gone?
I bought a book on nutrition last year and tried that - it worked for a few days. I went a whole 5 days in early December when I started a diet. Otherwise, its 2 - 3 days at the most and then I "slip."
My darling husband is a saint for sticking by me through every "this time" I've had but I want this to be THE time. I really hate the person I see in the mirror - both the outside with all the extra weight and wear of this hard living, and the inside for letting me be like this. I want to be in love with me again so I can maybe understand why my family still loves me through all this.
I called my doctor today and hopefully she is calling in Campral for me (she suggested that one when I asked her about it in November) without making me come in for an appointment. I know I can get through today on my own, but tomorrow is another story. I ordered the cds and downloaded the pdf of the book.
And knowing how many of you there are here - and reading stories of women who are like me - really means a lot. I hope to check in here a lot and report some successes here soon.
Wish me luck, and if you're of the praying nature, I'd appreciate being added to your list tonight.
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