But I tried to think about things I look forward to.
Remembering everything
Sleeping soundly
Being alert in the evening
Being relaxed when my husband gets home (not scrambling to hide a bottle or glass or chew something to try to mask the smells on my breath when i hear the garage door)
Not having to re-read something I read the night before because I don't remember it
Having energy to run around in the yard with my daughter
Losing weight
There are hundreds more but I want to find some things to look forward to and try to move from shame for all the things I've done to pride in the things I have overcome.
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