Day 7 and Want to Drink!

[GottaChange]

Hi,

I would say it isn't all physical. Probably 25/75. What is pinging my brain is the fact that I haven't drank in 7 days and I really miss the complete abyss of drinking- of getting lost in it. Savoring each drink until I no longer can focus. I love it when the kids are asleep and my husband is out of the house and I can drink without restaint knowing that there is little to worry over(except the empty cans or bottles, the things I might have broken, bruises acquired during the night, the horrible hangover I will have in the morning, the unwillingness to get off the couch all day, the look of disgust from my husband etc...)

It is so easy to be adamant about quiting drinking and mean it the night after embarrassing and potentially dangerous things happen. But seven days later, when the moment has passed, it is so hard to remember how horrible you felt that day and convince yourself of how horrible you will feel tomorrow if you get drunk.

I wish there was a way to keep those feelings fresh, without feeling horrible everyday.

Struggling, but hoping to make it.

GC

[meditation mama]

Day 7 and Want to Drink!

Hi Gotta Change.. Yes I know. When the fog clears we only see the good. Amazing how that haze is alway there to keep us hell-bent on beating ourselves up. But when we are clear, the romance, the "I'm OKs" start back up. So keep making those lists for the next while - make them every day. Read and re-read them. All the reason you don't want to drink and on the other side all the reason you want to be free from alcohol. It's very important to keep this dialog going. Don't just hope to make it. We know hope doesn't work for us very well. We are far too strong and our minds ar much to cunning for that. Hope is OK for many things, but we can't just hope not to drink. We have to do more...

You can do this, Change!

xoxoxox

MM

[laura anne]

Day 7 and Want to Drink!

Hi GottaChange. I know what you mean. Its so easy to forget how that hangover feels. We have to try and focus only on the negative aspects of drinking. Just replay them over and over and like mm said keep the list going and look at it often. I have a book called "100 reasons not to drink" and it helps me to remember why I don't want to drink.

[meditation mama]

Day 7 and Want to Drink!

laura anne - what is that book.. curoius??

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Day 7 and Want to Drink!

Gotta change- you're so right! About all of it, even this:

except the empty cans or bottles,
the things I might have broken,
bruises acquired during the night,
the horrible hangover I will have in the morning,
the unwillingness to get off the couch all day,
the look of disgust from my husband etc...

Go find your original post and print it out... remember these feelings?
I have never done anything like this before and am JUST SICK at the thought jeopordizing my marriage and all of our friendships. At this point I am scared sober. Your body is healing, and Mr A. has lost his control, physically. Now, it's mind over matter: Just because I have gotten out of another embarrassing moment cannot allow me to go back. I am so determined to do this. It has been three days and I am doing fine. It has been SO GREAT waking up the last three mornings refreshed and full of energy.

Write affirmations... they can be in code, if you wish.
Place them where you need them- in your car; in your kitchen; in your bathroom? as a bookmark?
I have them taped onto the back of a picture of my family from about 5 years ago, to help me remember why I'm doing this. "I Have a Life Threatening Problem that Once had Me".... comes from Jean Kirkpatrick's Women for Sobriety.. I need to keep repeating it to myself... thankfully, with the power of new technology, I don't look crazy as I mumble to myself!

Physically, I'm getting better. I'm losing a little weight. My eyes are clear. I remember last night. My memory bank of thoughts is slowly returning. My reflexes are becoming normal. Last night, I went out for dinner with my husband and our boys. Instead of brushing my teeth to hide the beer breath, I took a shower.... picked out nicer clothes.... did my hair, did my make-up, and looked in the mirror.
I SAW HER. :flower: I saw the person that I used to be. She smiled back at me and said, "Hey~ I've missed you!". I came out to the kitchen, and all 3 of my boys said, "Mom, you look pretty!!!"
That was my reward. :h

Please. GC, follow your own advice:

Hang in there. Try just one little change daily and see what works. We are here for you. :l

[GottaChange]

Day 7 and Want to Drink!

Thanks for all the support. I am hanging in there. It is 5pm local time and my "witching" hour. I won't give in tonight, but I hope this isn't a reoccuring thing. Will it pass? I know I am thinking about it too much which is a huge part of the problem. I love being on this forum, but it also makes me thinking of drinking as well. Catch 22.

Well no booze in the house and I have already showered and have put on my pj's. I need to start dinner. Oh how I loved to drink while cooking. STOP!

Pity party over. Dinner needs to be cooked. I have three movies that came today from the DVD rental service, I am in the middle of a great book and I need to finish laundry and clean up the mess from where I potted some plants. I DON'T NEED A DRINK!

-GC

[Sh3LLz]

Day 7 and Want to Drink!

Good to hear GC... Good luck.. YOU DONT NEED A DRINK! :-)