Blew it on Day 5

[onthegrand]

Well, I made it to day 5 and of course Friday night rolls around and I start justifying way I should be able to drink!!! My mind kept telling that "hey, perhaps now you can just be a moderate drinker and only drink on weekends". Has this happened to anyone and has it been successful. I had 4 beers last night. I feel bad about it today but I'm also wondering whether I can be successful as a moderate drinker? I guess time will tell. I stll feel very positive about this program and ultimately I would love to be able to have a few drinks a couple of times a week and leave it at that!!! Any thoughts?

[meditation mama]

Blew it on Day 5

Good morning, onthegrand!

Day 5 is a kicker.. that is usually when our brains are at their peak of cunningness! It is by far the hardest for most. We are feeling better, our hangover long lost in the back of our minds, body feels strong again, our minds clear..?? This is when we get in trouble. Most of us don't know to plan hard for those days if our resolve is to be AF. But we must. Once past that point we start to realize what it is really like to be free from alcohol. Before that we just feel better. It can be a vicious cycle. There are some people that can moderate, only you will be able to tell that for sure. I tried many, many times. Long story short, it is just too much work for me, it is exhausting.

So, if you want to be AF, ask us and we can prepare you a bit better. If you want to moderate, you should seek advise form those here moderating. My suggestion is that you ask either way if you feel confused. Better to have some tools in your nap sack than to try and go down the road by yourself, especially one that has been so extensively travelled my so many here...

Good luck!

MM

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Blew it on Day 5

OTG- the internal debate is, "do I want a beer, or does the beer want me?"

Some people can want and have only one. Others want only one and end up having a six pack...... so, it's figuring out what happened to you.

For me, this is my first shot at addressing my alcohol issues. I haven't drank since Thanksgiving, and personally, I'm afraid to try to have "just one". I think that if I try for just one, I'll end up with 6 empty beer bottles. So, until I have more confidence in my self-discipline, I'm sticking with the kiddie cocktails.

Stay around here, and we'll help you figure it out.... and really, your experience will help me decide what I should do!

Much love,

[everynight]

Blew it on Day 5

I think it's possible, but highly improbable. My idea is to drink every night, but cut down on the amount..............it NEVER happens. After that first drink, I just crave more so I take long pulls out of the bottle, then mask the smell with a glass of wine.
For me it's probably all or nothing, aside from a social dinner on the weekend with a glass of wine with family or friends.

[mardan]

Blew it on Day 5

Hi,

Just reading your thread and I thought WOW!, that could be me writing this. Like you I was on day 5 AF and then yesterday ( Friday) came and I thought it's the weekend surely one or two wouldn't hurt. Of course one or two led to three or four and so on until I'd had over half a bottle of vodka. I woke up late this afternoon and felt bad about last night.

My partner had taken our two young sons out and because of drinking the night before I missed out on going with them.

As for being able to moderate your drinking to just weekends, well that's something I am trying to do at the moment. The thought of never having another drink again makes me feel so miserable. I feel if I can start by just staying AF from Sunday till Friday night then it doesn't seem such a big sacrifice.

I have done this before but then my drinking has crept up to Monday night and so on until I was drinking every night. I am really hoping I can contain it to just the weekend this time and then eventually cut it out altogether.

I havn't bought the My Way Out book yet or looked at the programme. I'm trying to see if I can do this thing myself first and if it fails then I will look into it.

I can't really offer any help or advice but it would be interesting to see if you can do it.
In my past experience, I don't think there is any such thing as being able to moderate your drinking once you have had a drinking problem. I believe the only way is total abstinence as hard as that seems.

[laura anne]

Blew it on Day 5

Hi onthegrand! When I read your post I laughed because I do the same thing! I always say to myself -- well, maybe I'll just drink on the weekends. It hasn't worked yet. It always turns back into my daily habit of drinking. Some people are able to moderate. After years of trying I know i can't. Good luck to you on your journey.

[dronypoint]

Blew it on Day 5

Day 5 is difficult if you have been used to drinking every day. Yes, you can limit it to the weekends, but that would be very difficult for me.
If you can do that, great. It is easy to slip though, and soon it is every day. You may be able to go back to the weekend thing, but for me I need a while AF, at least 6 months. I guess that any less and it is just kidding yourself, the booze brain is just lurking and waiting to take over.

[emily]

Blew it on Day 5

hi guys

I'm on my 12th day AF and got that 'Friday feeling and now Saturday feeling' right now. I'm just about to take 1000mg of l-glut. I have tried in the past to just drink on weekends and I've tried to drink just a glass or two every day (I even got hynotherapy not to drink in the house at all, only when out socially) it worked for a short time only. I think you have to go through all these senarios before you finally work out what is best for you. Like many on this site I have realised that AF is the way to go but only at this stage after going through all the journeys am I able to come to that conclusion. And Marden, I've been reading your posts and have been where you are right now so don't give up hope, you'll get there in the end. I too used to dismiss completely the idea of never drinking again, it was beyond the beyond, as they say but when I did finally accept the reality of my problem it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. For me it's AF, for you it could be modertation, only you will be able to answer that when your ready and only when your ready.
I was reading a book about Glasgow in the 1950s and there was a sign put up in one of the pubs that read ' drink is a good servant but a hellish master' how true.

[bald headed old guy]

Blew it on Day 5

Yeah, this is a big one for me. I would like to get to a point where I could trust myself to enjoy a glass of wine with a social dinner; but right now I am afraid "a" glass woudl become "a few" glasses would become "let's stop and pick up another bottle on the way home" and before you know it I'm back at day 0. I think for me I am going to have to become used to AF for a while until I am ready to try any "trial run" at moderation.
BHOG

[jane jane]

Blew it on Day 5

I'm with you, BHOG. Won't even entertain the possibility of a glass with dinner until at least 30 days AF, and then I'll probably go for 60! I think what works best for me is not ODAT, but OMAT---one month at a time! I think that "Friday Feeling" is more common among those who work during the week; those of us who are at home don't necessarily feel that "woo-hoo it's party day!" urge. Some of my emptiest bottles were on Tuesdays!

[lukalee]

Blew it on Day 5

Onthegrand, Day five is the hardest, even when it is not a Friday for those that drink every day. I too would like to moderate some day (like once a month), but I know that cannot happen any time soon. It has to be me controlling Al and not the other way around. I don't want to sound bad, but if you "can't" make it passed day five, then it is the AL that is doing the controlling and not you.

[lukalee]

Blew it on Day 5

And I think that drinking just on the weekends is a great idea, but during the week are we going, "God, I can't wait until Friday" where we are not fully enjoying the week because we chose not to drink?

[universal]

Blew it on Day 5

Hi -

Jane Jane - i understand what you mean about getting 30 days under first. That is my hope although even that challenge has been hard. I did however make it through last night which is amazing since I've had a hell of a week emotionally. I would love to become a weekend drinker - and not a weekend drunk, but a weekend social drinker - a couple of drinks here or there. I'm not sure if I can - right now I know that today will be really hard because I'm a little emotional. Just took some kudzu and an L-Glut and am trying to keep busy today but I know it will be hard not to drink tonight especially since the parents are going out after my daughters hockey game - I could say no to going but that isn't fair for my daughter - hoping I can disuade myself from having that beer...........

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.........

Good luck everyone.

[Dolly Sunshine]

Blew it on Day 5

Good point. You end up wishing your life away waiting for when you "can" drink. AL is still in control when you think of it as a reward.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Blew it on Day 5

Dolly Sunshine;254060 wrote: Good point. You end up wishing your life away waiting for when you "can" drink. AL is still in control when you think of it as a reward.

Thanks, Dolly~ isn't that the truth? I've just spent two hours on here- mostly to help others, but also because I'm secretly looking for the magic formula to control my cravings.... AL is still controlling me!

Signing off for now~ we are going to Magic Kingdom today, and AL is NOT invited!
Happy days, ya'll... :h