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**meditation mama** · January 12, 2008, 01:09 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

:welcome:

Yep, we do tend to need good ass-kicking, the lot of us! I am glad you found this place. It is amazing. I would not be where I am without the love and support I get from this amazing group of people. Stick close and let us know how we can help. You did 9 days on your own, so you can do 900+ with support!

Namaste,

MM

**FinallyRN** · January 12, 2008, 01:21 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

There is not one of us who hasn't gotten cocky. I go AF for a period of time and then I think I'm cured.........I have enjoyed my AF period. I've gotten to the point where I don't even know if I want to moderate because for me I don't know what that means. Is it one bottle of wine instead of one and a half? Right know my total focus is on concentrating on how well I feel so I won't be seduced.

Good luck

**Sh3LLz** · January 12, 2008, 02:21 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Dude im in the same boat.. ive been trying to convince myself i could handle one or two. IM going through major depression with my girl leaving me and im just not well these days.. i can still function but i woke up not even an hour ago hungover like a motherfucker!

its 2:21 and ive let half the day slip by... this shit has got to stop!

:-(

**NewLife2008** · January 12, 2008, 02:45 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

I joined a couple weeks ago and I've been on here a couple of times reading the posts. I feel the same as you all and I've done the same. Try to go AF for days and then something starts it all over again. I can handle it is the biggest cullprit, but I can't. I went three weeks the first of November and I'm back to my old pattern. This week too much on Monday and then last night because I was alone and could handle it. Nice to have a glass of wine with a steak, just not the five or six after the one. Now like all of you, I'm sitting here with guilt, anger, and disgust for my life, knowing this is not how I ever wanted my life to be, an alcoholic, with children and going through a divorce to boot. There are a lot of good books out there and one I read talks about the four things that trigger the drinking, it's an acronym HALT and easy to remember, Hunger, Anxiety, Lonliness, and Tiredness. Every time one of these comes into my life, it's a struggle to go on without a drink, but I'm going to get something to eat, go for a walk, get out amongst people at the mall or a movie, and come back and take a nap. I went AF for three weeks and felt great, my skin even cleared up, important for me. I'm going AF again and keep up on my exercise and keep coming back here. CMH3guy and Sh3LLz I'm right there with you and with encouragement and understand from people like meditation mama and finallyRN, you'll succeed. I'll be encouraging you also, because I realize I'm not alone anymore.

**Sh3LLz** · January 12, 2008, 03:15 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Thanks NEWLIFe...

WE all need as much encouragement as we can get. Im sitting here struggling not to make the same mistakes.. I have my family.. just a 5 minute ride away.. but they drink. to... constantly..my GF is gone and im lonely... I dont feel like cooking.. And that liquor is looking real appealing..

**Ripple** · January 12, 2008, 03:53 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

CMH3guy: OMG your post speaks VOLUME. I love it. Today I am thinking about wine, oh I can have a few. NO, I have a partial restraining order, so if I fall I am in the KLINKER....good thread...I can relate...thanks & keep coming.

Best of Luck

Rip.

**NewLife2008** · January 12, 2008, 04:03 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Sh3LLz;254197 wrote: Thanks NEWLIFe...

WE all need as much encouragement as we can get. Im sitting here struggling not to make the same mistakes.. I have my family.. just a 5 minute ride away.. but they drink. to... constantly..my GF is gone and im lonely... I dont feel like cooking.. And that liquor is looking real appealing..

Hunger and lonliness. Get something to eat, even if it's McDonald's and get out amongst people. Go to a bookstore, movie, do something for yourself. It might be good to stay away from your family today if they drink. It's your call. I know what lonliness is and it's not easy, especially when you are alone. You can be lonely when you're with someone too. Good luck to you. I'm outta here for a two hour drive to get the MY Way Out book.

**TiredofHiding** · January 12, 2008, 06:42 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

You're definitely not alone cmh - we love to think we're fine because we're feeling good and then that taste/feel/smell - whatever it is just takes over.

I put some nice steaks on the grill last night and actually called my husband to ask him to stop for a nice cab and when he answered just checked to see if he was on his way. I knew I couldn't do it - not yet anyway.

I have decided I want to be totally AF for at least a month. I'm thinking maybe Valentine's day, depending how I feel at that point, maybe we'll have some champagne. I don't know for sure but I know I need to be AF for quite some time before I attempt Mod. I don't want to go backwards.

(now I hope its not just big talking - I'm only AF for 3 days now)

**RavenGirl** · January 12, 2008, 06:57 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

cmhguy3;254126 wrote: But then I got cocky and had two glasses of wine last Saturday because it was my birthday and I convinced myself that I could handle it.

Yep! That's my story too!

As soon as I start feeling better, I feel like there's nothing wrong with me and I can handle AL just like everyone else.

The thing is...I'm NOT like everyone else, and can't handle AL like they do.

The first step towards my healing and recovery seems to be accepting the fact that I cannot handle alcohol. Even one drink will set me off.

Good luck!

RG

**RavenGirl** · January 12, 2008, 07:00 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

NewLife2008...

You go girl!

RG

**HarveyDanger** · January 13, 2008, 09:22 AM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Yeah, I don't know. I'd done well through the first week at not having any, and then this week chose to drink on the weekend. Last night I had 5 drinks over the course of 4 hours, so not really getting hammered but a good amount. I didn't sleep worth a damn but worse than that, my outlook this morning is just extraordinarily bleak. It's like my soul is poisoned or something. I'm sad, and while I know that I'm not going to drink today so that I can be right for work tomorrow, right now I'm just miserable and without hope. And we're about to go to church in a little while, which doesn't uplift me these days but rather just leaves me feeling more sad and guilty and hollow and useless. Great. So much to look forward to today. Hour after hour after hour of nothing but waiting for bedtime so that I can go to sleep and get away.

Sorry for the pity party but that's the state of affairs at the moment.

**paula** · January 13, 2008, 09:38 AM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Hi HD, I know just how you feel, I have so many days when I feel like you do, at the moment I'm off work sick. I had a virus before Christmas and have felt low ever since.
I do intend to get back on track, I know I can't moderate, so I have to go af. I sometimes
wish I could just sleep my life away, I have so many guilt feelings.
Hope you can feel better soon.
Love Paula.

**bookmom** · January 13, 2008, 10:40 AM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Lot's of meaningful posts on this thread. HD I know how you feel., I often can't wait until bedtime becuause I know it's the only time I can be assured that I won't drink. Of course bedtime is only a relief if I am not waking up every hour with sweats from going AF.
Hang in there.

**NewLife2008** · January 13, 2008, 03:17 PM

I got cocky! Lesson learned...

Thanks RG. Got the book!

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