I need to do it this time!!!

[JBDevon]

Hi
I am new to this and desperatly need to stop drinking before i loose the last few people i have left in my family, my friends and job.
I just cant drink like other people. I can never say No to a beer and i dont know when to stop.I have failed my family for 20 years. Runied all family functions and have disappointed everyone so much. When drinking at first i feel more confident and then it goes too far. I have ended up in hospital, lost my driving licence, relationships gone and have a terrible reputation for being a drunk. I could write a book on the things that i have done and the danger i have put myself under.
On Friday i hope i had my last drink, i got drunk in the local pub and upset people and family. I have contacted the AA and have my first meeting tomorrow which i am nervous about.
I hope i can do this!!

:new:

[bookmom]

I need to do it this time!!!

Congrats on taking the first steps JB. Let us know how the meeting goes tomorrow. I have not tried AA yet. Keep in touch and hang in there.

[JBDevon]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi Thanks for the reply, i will let you know how i get on. Nervous though. Reading the stuff on here helps. There are so many people that suffer from the same or similar problems. Im glad i found the site

[dexterhead]

I need to do it this time!!!

welcome JB ! there is a lot of wisdom and support here and some people with stories like yours

[JBDevon]

I need to do it this time!!!

Thanks for the welcome. its comforting:thanks:

[lookingforhope]

I need to do it this time!!!

Welcome JB on your first step towards recovery!!! Life can change, it will takes much hard work, and there may be setbacks...but the ultimate goal can be reached!!!!! There is so much support here, so many stories like yours. Please stick with MWO and keep on talking....through strides forward and steps backward, this place has definately helped me change my life guiding me toward a better place. Good luck to you....

[Hovercat]

I need to do it this time!!!

Good luck with AA, it wasn't for me in the end but it left me with some stories and motivation for quitting!

I hope you take something positive from it.

[Jacy]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi JB

Hi JB....:welcome:

I have been where you are not that long ago. I have made attempts last year to quit drinking with no success because I always found a good excuse to drink. I would stop for a few weeks and end up back where I started. I didnt want to let go of what I felt was my friend, but it really is my enemy. It is not easy to quit, but each day that I stay sober I certainly feel better about myself and you will to. I have not been on MWO to much lately I hope to get back on and post more it really helps to talk about whatever is on my whether I am having a good or bad day.

Hope things start to look better soon.

Jacy

[choklyteyes]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi JB....:welcome: We are all in the same boat and here to help each other..so reach out...togeather we can do this :l

[BELIEVE]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi JB, heres wishing you luck on your meetings, and much success on the changes you're looking to make in your life.

[satori]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi JB - Welcome from me too!

Never tried AA - but being here has worked wonders for me!

Stick around, read and ask as many questions as you like - we are here to help.

Good Luck

Satori

[mardan]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hello there JB,

I am 38, a mother to two sons and would just like to let you know that You centainly arn't alone in this. Like you I cringe when I think about the times in the past when I have got totally blotto and made a total fool of myself and upset my family. In the past I have hurt myself badly falling down drunk and have said really stupid things to people that I didn't mean. The worst thing is the morning after when you can't remember the night before. It's usually my long suffering other half who has filled me in on the terrible details of what I said and did. On days like that I always swore that would be my last drink but of course it never was. Like you, I also have a reputation amongst my other half's work colleagues as being a terrible alcoholic. I have always managed to get totally plastered whenever we go out with any of them and now my other half won't take me out anywhere unless I swear to him that I will not touch a drop of alcohol. To this effect, I don't usually go out anymore with him as the night seems so boring without alcohol.

These days, I made the promise to myself that I would never drink in front of people and so I leave it till night time and lock myself in the bedroom and drink myself to sleep. I managed 5 days AF last week and am hoping to do so this week. Come Friday and Saturday, I will probably let myself go as I can't bear the thought of never having a drink again at the moment. I know this is wrong and I should go totally AF but I'm trying to take one step at a time.

I hope your AA meeting goes well for you. It really works for some people but not me. I tried a couple of meetings but couldn't get round the praying to a higher power thing for abstinence. I'm not an atheist but I find it hard to feel this higher power and generally cannot familiarise myself with the 12 steps. I suppose 2 meetings is hardly sufficient, maybe I should go back and give it another go. Anyway I wish you all the luck with it and keep posting and reading on here as it really does help.

[JBDevon]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi,
Thanks for all the nice sentiments, this site is amazing it feels so comfortable to be able to say how you are and how your feeling to people that understand. I went to AA today, was very nervous and didnt really say much and certainly didnt have the courage to say "Hi im Jan and im an alcoholic". It did help though as all of a sudden it felt like this secret weight on my life had slightly lifted. I'm going to go back tomorrow evening for another go and see how i feel after a second visit. One day at a time!!. Haven't stopped thinking about a drink all day and i do hope that gets easier. It is only day 3 but god its hard. Even having my tea this evening without a beer, Yuk juice !!! suppose i will get used to it. :thanks:

[JBDevon]

I need to do it this time!!!

Hi Marden
I know exactly what you mean about the Friday and Saturday thing. Its all i think of driving home from work "its Friday i deserve a drink after working all week",buy beer on the way home and sit in front of the tv and drink them all till i pass out. With my son usually watching and counting them as i go to the fridge, staggering in the end. I also turned to having drinks in my bedroom. 5 Days is a good and amazing accomplishment though. Maybe this week we could try together to get through those 2 days where it seems even harder. Its like the whole world is drinking on a Friday so why cant we.
My work friends get embarressed of my behaviour and the problem is im there Manager, and totally not acceptable. How can i lead them when they just see me as a drunk!
I also hate the thought of life without a drink but i have lost so much that i have to stop.
WE CAN DO THIS!!!