Breaking the habit

[Seashell]

Not sure if I am ever going to get off this thread I feel as if I wll always be starting out. The supps have atchutually calmed down my need for drink, but I can seem to get over the the desire to look forward to putting my youngest to bed and sitting and relaxing with a glass of wine it seems it is the only way I can relax. I sit all night with glass in hand and supp. on the odd night when I havent drank. I have found it difficult not have the consant taste and habit. I know it is bad and I know there are nights (many) when ther is nothing worth watching on the telly and I could be reading or working something far more worth while. Are there others here who have drank to relax and how did you break the habit? I cant go out. etc so it is a question of will power but cant seem to find it any suggestions? ull

[treeman]

Breaking the habit

Sea...i used to like to sit and have a few beers to "relax and unwind".....turned into a 6-pack before i knew it...

now i will take a hot shower....make some herbal tea....grab some whole grain crackers...and my book....

i just gave myself a new program for the evening, or system for relaxation....working on re-training myself in many ways...

i don't take any supps...maybe a valerian or calms forte.....

hope that this helps..

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Breaking the habit

SeaShell, well on the positive side, at least you haven't resolved yourself to be the HEADLINER on the "Depressed and No Longer Trying" thread!

I loved having wine just to relax at night, but like Treeman, the one glass turned into one small bottle, into one big bottle. When I'd wake up in the morning, I'd be so thirsty, and when my husband would get up at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am, I'd quietly ask him if he could get me a glass of water. One of the signs that I knew I was out of control was that I didn't have to ask for water anymore- he just assumed that I'd need it every morning.

So, to answer your question, yes, I did love the habit. And you're right about the tv- it's more of a habit than anything else for me. Do you really like the wine, or do you really enjoy the solitude of your own ME time? If you like the feel of the wine glass in your hand, change the liquid to something that is less toxic. If you are really looking for ME time, like Treeman suggested, you should make new habits-
hot bath, soduku puzzles, yoga or Pilates DVD, organizing photo albums,
computer/chat time, reading, jigsaw puzzles, needlepoint or crewel work,
writing in a journal, reading~ both casual reading and "personal growth" reading....

Find your Balance. Meditation Mama wants to start a Saturday morning (US time) meditation chat time. I don't know what time that will be on your corner of the Universe, but maybe that could help you?

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Breaking the habit

SeaShell, well on the positive side, at least you haven't resolved yourself to be the HEADLINER on the "Depressed and No Longer Trying" thread! :H
I loved having wine just to relax at night, but like Treeman, the one glass turned into one small bottle, into one big bottle. When I'd wake up in the morning, I'd be so thirsty, and when my husband would get up at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am, I'd quietly ask him if he could get me a glass of water. One of the signs that I knew I was out of control was that I didn't have to ask for water anymore- he just assumed that I'd need it every morning.

So, to answer your question, yes, I did love the habit. And you're right about the tv- it's more of a habit than anything else for me. Do you really like the wine, or do you really enjoy the solitude of your own ME time? :l If you like the feel of the wine glass in your hand, change the liquid to something that is less toxic. If you are really looking for ME time, like Treeman suggested, you should make new habits-
hot bath ~ soduku puzzles ~ yoga or Pilates DVD,
organizing photo albums ~ computer/chat time ~ jigsaw puzzles, needlepoint or crewel work ~ writing in a journal, reading~ both casual reading and "personal growth" reading.... Find your Balance. Just a thought- Meditation Mama wants to start a Saturday morning (US time) meditation chat time. I don't know what time that will be on your corner of the Universe, but maybe that could help you?:h

[Seashell]

Breaking the habit

Hi Thank you some very good suggestions. I think it is a bit of both me time and glass in hand. Its morning here and easy to say but to night will be day one AF again. I have managed to get one night escape!! Went up the gym then to a yoga class, ending with a sauna/steam room it was delicious. I spoiled it by convincing my self I would just round a lovely evening off with one glass. stupid me. would be doing that this week.

Thanks again

[GottaChange]

Breaking the habit

I can so relate to this habit of wanting to drink after the kids go to bed. My husband also plays poker a couple of nights a week(not for money) and so I have at least two nights a week all to myself. This was the perfect time for me to get wasted.

Knowing that these opps are still there I am trying to come up with something that I would enjoy, but not drinking. These are some things that I am working towards in an effort to change my routine in order to help get rid of our "habit."

-Taking sewing lessons so I can sew at night
-Craft(It isn't everyone's bag but I am sure if you go to a craft store you can fiind something that might interest you)
-Do you house cleaning at night(sometimes a really good toilet scrub can relieve stress)
-Organize a book club(be careful with this though as some like to drink at these)
-Organize family photos(everyone has a box that needs to be sorted)
-Research your family history to put together a family tree
-Scrapbooking
-Stained Glass
-Candle Making
-Pen Pal
-Create a blog
-Find a volunteer opportunity you can do at home.

These are just a few suggestion. I am sure others can add more. I really believe that we have to change our routines in order to get rid of a lot of the triggers.

Good Luck!
-GC

[onthegrand]

Breaking the habit

I can so relate to drinking out of habit!!! Last week I managed to go 5 days AF and then blew it as I missed the "habit" of coming home and relaxing with a drink!!! Today I will start back on "day 1" of being AF. I think it's a good day to start as I work until 8:00p.m. so I won't be home during the witching hour of 5:00 when I start to crave a drinkl!! I love all the suggestions that everyone has!! I will definitely be trying them out!!!

[happydog]

Breaking the habit

Hi seashell,
Can understand where your coming from, i always drunk in the evenings to relax and unwind, but one bottle was never enough. you are in the right place here, i got lots of support, i'm on day8 AF. just got to tell yourself, you are not going to drink today.
Just keep on posting and reading you can do this.

Good Luck.x
Love
Teardrop.x

[jane jane]

Breaking the habit

Habit? Huh??? I only wish I'd had just one "habitual" wine-drinking time. For years, I was in the "habit" of drinking when (to name just a few): happy, sad, mad, glad, healthy, ill, bored, at a party, at a meeting, in the car, at the supermarket, you name it! I even took long bike rides with wine aboard---in the plastic "water" bottle that fits in the holder on the bike frame.

Un-learning that habit has been like reverse physical therapy---learning to do things with TWO hands instead of only one (with the other holding a glass or cup.) And psychologically, it's even worse, but I am beginning to see that it gets easier as time goes on. It's a long way from "over" (if it ever is) but well worth starting over as many times as it takes.

[Ask For Help]

Breaking the habit

Seashell:

I too looked forward to a glass of wine to relax while cooking supper, and then one while reading the paper, and then . . . I thought of a glass of wine as "my friend" and had a hard time thinking about giving that up. I am a single mom 13 y/o daughter, work hard and thought "I deserve something for me."

For me the answer has been in taking care of myself ALOT. I realized I'm really lonely, so I've tried to be more in touch with friends in the evening. I've also found reading this website a "friend-like" comfort. I also try to schedule more "me" time on the weekends, and getting out in more social situations - movies, yoga, exercise. So I try to keep "something for me" in the bank, so I don't come to the evening so empty.

I'm new at this, but am proud that I have only had a wine at home once since Jan 1st. That was almost unthinkable when I decided to try this. I've experimented with different beverages in the evening, a AF free beer with dinner, or tea after dinner, sometimes lemonade . . but I have found it pretty easy to "get out of the habit" because I'm "filling up my pitcher" in other ways.

Hope this helps . . . keep on reading - folks here have lots of ideas.
G

[SK8RGRL]

Breaking the habit

Jane Jane you so funny and I can so relate (except for the wine on the bike thing)! I was forever saying things like... "I want a drink because".....there's a good film on tv "I want a drink because"... there's "nothing" on tv. "I want a drink because"... I am not at work tomorrow / I "am" at work tomorrow / I feel so happy / I "feel" crap and so on and so on. And yes, the starting over thing...for as many times as it takes!!

Seashell (my little friend) you are so like me! similar drinking pattern, for me it was always my "me time", always my "private party". I hated anything interupting my "wine time". I hated having to go out anywhere of an evening because it meant a disruption to my routine of relaxing and drifting off to la la land with the only "friend" I wanted/needed. I even remember silently seething when my son was admitted to hospital for 2 nights. I had to stay with him, and there was me thinking... I can't have a bloody drink! hate my self for that, but that's the power of it's grip. I am 13 days today. Tetchy, anxious, emotional and resentful, but I have never done this well before and I don't want to spoil it now. Please, go see your doctor. I know you said you were reluctant to go but what do you have to loose?? it can take a few visits before they take you seriously (it did me), but it's a start. Come on seashell, do it with me XXX

[PJ]

Breaking the habit

Seashell, I took me about 2 months on supps before I was clearheaded enough to decided what I wanted. I too did the every night wine thing, and then topped it off occasionally with the all day Saturday and all day Sunday thing just for good measure

Then, once I decided that I wanted to moderate for now and decided about abstenance later... I started looking all over the internet for a like-minded support group. And here we are! I'm nowhere close to where I want to be (not having to think about controlling myself), and I might never be. I'm just thankful that I'm better than before and taking baby steps in the direction I want to go

[Croft]

Breaking the habit

I have a poker playing husband as well. He plays about twice a week in the evening. Those evenings are the worst for trying not to drink.

[tlrgs]

Breaking the habit

allway think of your kids and pray to god or your higher power.be greatful and read living sober it does and will help