I really can't.
I have been 5 days into my latest and greatest attempt to stop and am already feeling like I have made progress. Ok, ok, I am still drinking. Whatever. Rolled my eyes. Sighed heavily.
But I feel more guilty than ever about drinking. And making me feel more guilt than I am already capable of inflicting on myself is no easy feat.
So here is an example. I am at the liquor store at lunch. I know, I vowed not to do it, but shit. Anyway, I look behind me in line, as I felt like someone was breathing down my neck. And there all of you were. Breathing down my neck. I looked back at you and you all looked straight back at me with eyes that said, "What are you doing?"
So I did manage to ignore all of you while I got back in the car. But then I looked in the rear-view mirror - "GOSH - dont you people have somewhere to be?!", I yelled at all of you. But you all just looked at me and said, "well, what are you going to do now?"
I am not going to answer that. Instead I am going to tell you that this site - all of you - have made me more aware and more alert to the changes that I need to make than I have ever been. I know that it is not much. I am still drinking. But my desire to stop is different this time. I am very appreciative of the time that it takes to read all the posts and post responses. I know that it takes time and I am grateful that all of you make time. I am going to get better. And I know that all of you will as well. This site is way too cool for it not to be true.
THANKS
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