NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

[Janice]

Well, its a long time since I've typed that!!! Its time I was back, I know I need to take a look at what I'm doing and make some changes. I had done somewhere between 50 - 60 days by the end of November (I had even stopped counting) when we went to a Xmas Ball at the beg of December...and the rest is history. I haven't slippped big time, well, I'm not drinking the amounts I used to but I am drinking EVERY day (a bottle of wine) and can't remember having an AF day since I started again. The vitamins have been gathering dust, not eating properly, and I just look and feel so awful.

I am desperately trying to pick myself up after losing Dad but I wasn't prepared for how it affected me. I need to move on, I know I do. I want to be happy and get my life back again. My self esteem is rock bottom, I have a very empty nest as both my kids are at uni this year....all of a sudden I think "what am I meant to be doing now?" Drink has become my friend again, my comfort. I've just had a bottle of red tonight - hubby is away until Friday night - and although we have agreed that "we" will only drink weekends (he is a "normal" drinker) I've been going behind his back for weeks now...back to the old habits of hiding it etc, drinking in the afternoons before he gets in, back to waking up in the middle of the night feeling horrible and unable to get back to sleep.

Today I am determined will be my first AF day. Its great to see the old Newbies in Need still going and it seems like theres lots of new faces. Looking forward to "meeting" you all and catching up with old friends too if thats okay....

Good luck for today!

[tlrgs]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

hi there... good job for coming back . thats what they mean by ths saying one day at a time...best wishes for you. hang in there

[Bessie]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Hi Janice

Well I thought I'd be early enough to beat Finally RN (who is on the ODAT thread starting warpath!!) but am delighted to find somebody new (to me anyway) here! Sounds like you have it in you to do well if you did so many days before. So I guess you know what it takes. And I'm sure you know everyone here will help. Hope that self esteem gets back up off the floor. You don't deserve to feel bad.

Nice to 'meet' you and I hope the ODAT thread can be your daily check in and help.

Love to you and all who follow.

Bessie xx

[Suki411]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Good morning all. Have had this week off, getting my feet back onto solid ground and have become the shredding queen. Who needs a fire going i the fireplace, heat from the shredder generated enough heat to warm up this cold, drafty pace. The trashmen certainly will not be happy with me this morning, especially with the char the cats peed on. ( lovely pink damask chair from my mom, but need a complete overhaul). Changed the litter, obviously, they didn't like it. They found the chair. It had been lovely. Pity the poor fool who sees it on the sidewalk, goes over to pick it up and gets with 5 feet of it Oh well, would cost too much to fix it up and it doesn't fit the living room.

Bessie and RN, are we going to have a ODAT Tracker to keep count of who signs in first?

Janice, welcome. My heart goes out to you. I could have written your second paragraph but substituted the word mother. Not married, no kids, a couple of siblings and their families, no ned to waste time on them. I was named Executrix and spent tons of time dealing with lawyers, accountants, banks, the IRS, etc. Once I sold her condo, felt like there was nothing in my life. The botto fell out of my life and I didn't know where I was going to land. Drank myself silly, missed several days of work. Self esteem? None. Double depression? Yes.

Found this wonderful place, put together several strings of days. But kept going back to the wine or vodka.

Decided at the last moment to take this week off. Haven't had a vacation for myself in more than 10 years (have been taking care of Mom, then after she died, tried to sell, empty out her house without any help from siblings). You should have seen me driving a truck in rush hour down the southeast expressway in Boston. Yikes.

Anyway, even though I am doing things relating to Mom, shredding old bank pass books from the 60's, her old bills and insurance policies, and doing all of the filing that goes along with trying to settle her estate, This time it is for me. It's to get my life back together so I can decide what I want to do know. Haven't had a drink in over a week. And, I finally realized tonight, that I don't want to, don't need to.

Janice, you need to go through a grieving process for you Dad. I was so busy with Mom's stuff and work that I never did, until I sold her place. And what a doozy it was.
You are incredible to have already done 60-80 days AF. Wow!

You are not alone. We are all here for some reason or another, but, please hang around. The folks here, as you know from past posting, are here from one another. Be good to yourself. It hard to, but it helps. Tomorrow going out shopping to get some new clothes, throwing out all of the baggy sweaters that I bought at Target. Look out Lord & Taylor!

Morning to you, too tirgs, and a good day to all that stop in here today.

[Janice]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Hi Bessie and welcome trlgs. Nice to meet you too!! I sort of "met" finally on chat last nite......hope you guys don't mind me starting the thread....I couldn't wait till this morning.....I was so excited about being back after Chat!!!

I was up really late as I knew if I went to bed too early, I would wake in the night having had wine. So, with husband away.....I got the hoover out!!!

Today is going to be hard as it will be my first AF day in a long time. I've got so used to pouring that first drink early afternoon but today I'm taking myself out then I'll probably be here on chat all night going crazy!!! Why is it, we get up on a morning and know we will never drink again and....a few hours later....our minds are telling us something completely different???

I'm not sure what I'm doing this time round, haven't got a "plan" as such...one day at a time, 30 days, 60 days I have no idea, I just know I can't keep going like I am without real health problems either now or in the future - after doing 42 when I first found MWO and then 50+ I know how vulnerable we still are.

Today I will not drink.

thanks for listening, Janicexxx

[Janice]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Sorry Suki...we crossed posts!! Suki, I read some of your posts in the last few weeks I was on here and your story sounded so familiar to me too!!! Check back on some of my old posts from last May. Anyway, like you I am an Executor and....I have a sister from hell....who is also an Executor (not good planning Dad!!). Can't talk much now as must get ready for work, but looking forward to getting to know you alll......again.

Janicexxx

[Suki411]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

I will do that Janice. Looking forward to talking with you. Good job with the Hoover!

[rustop61]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Hi everyone

Janice, great to see you back. As you can see there are quite a few of the old faces still here. I too have had a string of 30 Day AF stints since September but am still working on it (Its a work in progress). Originally I wanted to do 30, then 60 etc. and was devastated when I slipped. I then decided to take it ODAT. Am currently on Day 23 and intend to do 30 in January. Going out for an early Valentine Dinner and then going to do Lent AF. Well thats the plan anyway. I find logging on here every day keeps me focussed. Today I WILL NOT DRINK.

Have a great Wednesday everyone.

Rustop

[sweetpea]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Morning all

Janice great that you have come back looking forward to seeing you around. I think you have answered many of the questions us other newbies have been pondering and that is you have to be vigilant of big AL forever. You have done it before and will do it again I have no doubt so here are some strong vibes to kick that beast into touch again. Your self esteem will soon be back to where it should be

Hi Suki great post and nice chatting this morning. Well done on your AF days lol

Bessie you need to get up earlier - But - you are in before RN :H lol

Rustop day 23 well done keep going
tlrgs and all to follow have a great day. I am now on day 3 so am

Sweetpea xx

[cowgal]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

good morning!

Hi Janice, welcome back...........I remember you At least you came back sooner than me when I dropped out last year!! I know you can do it, you have before.....................I am beginning to doubt that I will however, I haven't been able to string together even 1 day for quite a while...........hubby back to old ways, my only coping mechanism

Anyway, have a great day everyone, and all to come.

Much love and hugs..............:h :l

MA

[Cinders]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Janice, I am so glad to see you back and ready to go. Let's do this!! :l

Suki, You are a trooper, You keep working on it and know where you want to be. Good on you!!

Mary Anne, come on girl. You are a Florida girl and a tough one. You can do this just like me. Take it on!!

RU - one day at a time. ONE DAY AT A TIME..

Everyone else,
Let's keep on keepin' on.

I had a huge failure yesterday after MANY days sober but figure, "okay, I have been sober for many weeks" and one day does not negate all that.

One day at a time, people. And no looking back, just forward.

Love,
Cindi

[Deena]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Good morning everyone,
Happy to report that I"m still alive and kicking, doing OK, not as good as many of you, but I'm still pleased with my progress.

Not much to type, but good thoughts going out to Janice. Wise one to return to regain the success you already attained.

We are all in this together. Thanks everyone and hello to those who follow me in this thread...BBL tonight to read the rest.

[retteacher]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Janice, I've missed you! Today I will not drink. That is my only plan. No counting, just hard work for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Mary

[retteacher]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Anyone interested...please visit daily thread of 30 day abs forum. It's usually very uplifting. M

[Miss October]

NEWBIES IN NEED - ODAT- WEDNESDAY

Good Morning ODATer's !!

Janice welcome back. You have done so great before, we all know you can do it again.....all it takes is one day at a time. So dust off those vitamins, drink plenty of water, get some good nutrition, and exercise, exercise, and then some more :baaah:

Make it a great AF day everyone !!