Worried about tonight

[IKnowItsTrue]

Ok this is how it goes. Every night, too much drinking. But then one Monday morning I say I have to stop drinking and I tell my husband that I want to try to go a few weeks without drinking and he says ok. I usually get through Monday ok because I feel so crappy. Tuesday I start to think about how great a glass of wine would taste. Alot of times I give in, but if I make it to Wednesday that's when I always cave. My husband and I are both divorced with kids and on Wed nights the kids go to their other parents for the night. SO that has always been our night to go out to dinner AND DRINK or stay home and make a nice dinner AND DRINK. I have made it through my Monday and Tuesday....I want to make it through tonight, but I don't know what will happen when my hubby comes home and makes his Martini!! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I'm definately thinking about that glass of wine!!

[Lotus]

Worried about tonight

Hi

The thing is drinking with your partner/hubby is that it becomes the norm. But you want to change that norm you need to change your routine.

It would help if there was no drink in the house, but to avoid an argument I will not suggest to spill his martini. Maybe you both need to talk at the start of the day about the evening. Instead of going out for a meal, go and watch a film or go bowling. Do something different.

I hope I don't cross the line here.....but could I suggest you both have a naughty night in!

[IKnowItsTrue]

Worried about tonight

Thanks Lotus
My husband would love your idea!!!

[Hannah]

Worried about tonight

I Know It's True -

Boy, can I relate. My husband and I have always been drinking buddies. I went AF last summer, lasted 70 odd days, and I was so proud of that time. However, lost a certain intimacy with my hubby, because he didn't go AF, and like you two, our big thing was to go out for supper and have a few glasses of wine. Since then I have been attempting to moderate, and just drink when we go out for supper, but have to admit it's not working well at the moment.

Would love to go AF completely, and have hubby join me. If you have a hubby that is willing, you are so lucky. If not, the only thing I can suggest is just try to stick it out - I used to drink tonic and lime, and found it wasn't too bad.

And like Lotus suggested, maybe you need to find a new activity! If you find it, let me know, because we are struggling with the same thing!

[lookingforhope]

Worried about tonight

Hi True...

Based on my struggle last night, this is what I did, and it got me through. GET OUT OF THE DAMN HOUSE! Go anywhere....(not drink-related). Circus, re-sale shop, Wal-Mart...(no, that might trigger, ha). Nature...craft store? Pet store? Change your routine....it seems to be helping me.

Someone gave this advice the other day and it has REALLY helped. So simple.

When you are hungry eat, when you are tired, sleep. What great advice!! You probably are both tired....if so, then just lay down, snuggle, and sleep. You can do this!

I recall when me and my soon to be x drank. We would always talk ourselves into it. Just lay down or get out of the house...easier said than done. But it can be done.

[lookingforhope]

Worried about tonight

Or maybe you all should sit down together stone sober, and make a list of how your lives and relationships would be better if alcohol was not involved. It ruined me and my husband's marriage...

[IKnowItsTrue]

Worried about tonight

Its seems like so many of our activities revolve around alcohol. It's like there are so many triggers. There's a football game...have a drink! Bad day at work..have a drink...great day at work..have a drink..birthday, drink, funeral, drink... I wonder if I'll ever be able to associate doing anything without a glass of wine in my hand?

[jupiter]

Worried about tonight

it's very hard to stop drinking when you want to so much and your significent other also likes to drink. i'm going through that now .

[lookingforhope]

Worried about tonight

Yes, True....you will! If it wasn't possible and you knew it wasn't possible, you wouldnt be here...many hugs to you.

[IKnowItsTrue]

Worried about tonight

Thats great advice about eating when your hungry and sleeping when you're tired. Why don't we remember to take care of ourselves???? And I do find that I don't want to drink as much after I've eaten dinner...I'm going to go eat dinner now. Ultimately it really doesn't matter what anyone else (my man) does...Thanks everyone...I think I'm going to make it through day 3 (a feat not accomplished a LONG time:thanks: :thanks: !!!!)

[Miss October]

Worried about tonight

Hello It's True

I hope you are hanging in there tonight. You can think about that wine, but just don't do it. I always think about that glass of wine....do I have one tonight or not......I'm working hard on the NOT. You will be so pleased with yourself tomorrow morning if you say no to it tonight. You know what they teach the kids in school about drugs.......JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

I'm just like you...always have to have that wine glass in my hand no matter what I do starting around 5:00 pm (the bewitching hour). I really don't have much advice as my husband is a non-drinker...ocassional one on the weekend if he thinks about it...he could care less....I have to remind him to see if he wants a drink.... I tell him he can have one, it will not bother me.....but if it was white wine.....that might be a different story. Tonight I just told myself...zippo...nilch....nothing...I only thought about getting through tonight, and I did it.....for me and many other's on this site......it's ODAT.

Good luck once again to you tonight. We are here for you.

Here is a new slogan for us: JUST SAY NO TO AL. Simple as that (I wish) :no:

[JackieO]

Worried about tonight

Are you taking the supplements? I recommend that you get on them ASAP, at least get some kudzu and start taking it. This has helped me immensely. My husband has been having his drink or two every night and I just look at it and I truly feel no desire to drink. I'm doing the supplements every dya, but I think, in a pinch maybe you could just get some kudzu and try it. Good luck!

[poohbear]

Worried about tonight

I can so totally relate to what you are talking about. Wednesday is my trigger day also. My night to drink. Why? Because my DH has something that he does every wednesday evening and thus when he is not here I don't have to hide it. My hubby is a non-drinker and of course gets really irritated when I do, but that's only because when I do I drink wayyyyy toooooo much. Anyway this is going to be a difficult evening for me - but I don't have ANY in the house and won't have a veh to go buy some because more than likely he will take mine. Good luck to you - you can do it.

[IKnowItsTrue]

Worried about tonight

Thanks everyone...I DID IT!!! And guess what...hubby didn't drink either. Maybe I'm going to rub off on him! :thumbs: I am taking the supplements which are DEFINATELY helping me and listening to the cds and actually writing here which is very weird for me because I've never talked to anyone about this before. Next big challenge...the weekend!! But I won't think about that until tomorrow!! Thanks again. - On to Day 4 (It's been seven months since I've been able to say that!)

[Janice]

Worried about tonight

Well done!!! I just did my post on the newbies ODAT thread - know exactly what you mean about the weekend!! Don't think about that now, just concentrate on today!

Good luck with your journey!!!!

Janicexx