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    Stop Beating Yourselves Up

    I have been reading a lot of posts lately. In fact, I spend more time on this site than is realistic. And I have noticed that a lot of you have these silly little rules for what counts towards progress and what does not. You all have to stop that! Just stop it! Stop beating yourselves up. You make me feel so guilty.

    I have studied your posts and have developed 10 rules for measuring progress as we all work on managing our addiction. You don't have to follow these rules, but I am going to follow them - guilt free!!! I need all the postive encouragment I can get. Here goes:

    1. Yes, hangover days do count toward AF days. In fact they count double. Even if you wake up still drunk - still counts.

    2. Deciding to drink fake achohol is not a crutch that deserves punishment. It is a healthy choice and deserves to be viewed that way.

    3. Choking down herbal supplements the size of hot dogs is a nobel thing to do if you need it. It is not a crutch. It is an aid to recovery and a very smart choice. p.s. don't take your medicine with champage.

    4. Requiring medication that you are too chicken shit to go to the doctor to get, requiring long delivery days as you wait for your medication to arrive from a far away land. A land so far away that it requires several border crossings and likely delivery in the dark of nite is not a bad thing. It is an aid to recovery done in the privacy of your home. Very smart! Counts double!

    5. Talking to perfect strangers all day long, telling them things you cannot even tell your own relatives and friends who love and adore you and make time for you each day is a perfectly rationale thing to do. It is a healthy way for you to recover in the privacy of your own world.

    6. Setting new goals and then breaking them over and over again is a sign of tenacity and strength. It takes a lot of guts to keep getting up after falling down. The point here, folks, is that we keep getting up. And we all can take as much time as we want practicing this.

    7. The road to recovery does not have a set duration. I have heard some of you can go 2 days and some can go 6. Some can go 30. Some are doing so well that they really should loan us some days to add to our AF charts.

    8. It is ok to order your stuff over the internet. You don't have to have the guts to go to the drugstore and by it yourstuff. Shame is a feeling that goes along with this whole thing. If I was proud of this issue I would be at the bar right now. Just don't forget to thank your postman.

    9. Drinking less is better than drinking more. Even if AF is not happening, you still get to count drinking less than you were before. It counts. Maybe not double, but it counts. Progress is progress!!!!!

    10. Being addicted to this website is a better addiction than the one we are all dealing with.

    11. (added based on responses to this post - thanks!) You do not have to count your AF days sequentially. If you get to 29 and then drink the next day, the following day that you are AF is 30, NOT ONE.

    #2
    Stop Beating Yourselves Up

    this is beautiful Croft and I think I will print it out and post it!!!!!:thanks: :thanks: :thanks: Yes, I am fully addicted the site. sit at work and get nothing done!!!!

    and everyone, remember to make out with your mail carrier:H
    :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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      #3
      Stop Beating Yourselves Up

      Croft! Thank you so much for this encouraging post! Especially
      ***5. Talking to perfect strangers all day long, telling them things you cannot even tell your own relatives and friends who love and adore you and make time for you each day is a perfectly rationale thing to do. It is a healthy way for you to recover in the privacy of your own world. ***

      I needed to hear that! My mother asked me what I was doing the other day, and there was no way in HELL I could tell her I was on a website confessing my deepest darkest secrets and my struggles with alcoholism!

      You have a great sense of humor, and have really helped me to see that even though I am fighting this battle with AL, it doesn’t make me a bad person… if fact there are some pretty cool people in here fighting the same battle that can prove that! I am a good person, I just have a bad friend! I just need to realize to stop getting mad at myself and start get mad at AL!

      Thanks Croft, and thanks everyone for helping me to see that I am not alone!
      sigpic

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        #4
        Stop Beating Yourselves Up

        Croft, I recently forgot how to fly. That was the wind beneath my wings. Thank you for that. From the bottom of my butt. It's bigger than my heart.
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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          #5
          Stop Beating Yourselves Up

          greeneyes;261183 wrote: Croft, I recently forgot how to fly. That was the wind beneath my wings. Thank you for that. From the bottom of my butt. It's bigger than my heart.
          OH NO, not the big butt discussion again! :H

          Comment


            #6
            Stop Beating Yourselves Up

            croft you just read my mind, I was thinking of starting a thread similar to yours.
            we are human. We have developed this habit over time, so it will take some time to recover or to learn again how to be moderate.
            You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

            Comment


              #7
              Stop Beating Yourselves Up

              hi there..croft..that was really encouraging. and makes me think how hard i have been on myself. i beat myself up everyday.just thinking about the pass and how to pervent anything like that happening again and reading yours and everyones post here on this site helps me see thing in a better light. thanks again and have a great bless day
              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

              Comment


                #8
                Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                THANK YOU!

                ...Yes I meant to shout that.

                That was wonderful and made me smile...then cry. I beat myself up more than anyone I've ever known. Something about me personally, and the way I was raised just makes me constantly gauge my progress in any endeavor not on how much better I'm doing, but how much better I could be than I am at the moment. I give everyone around me the benefit of the doubt, except myself. How unfair is that?

                In any event, your words really hit home for me so thank you again....I will read it everyday until it sinks in .

                Comment


                  #9
                  Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                  thanks!!!!

                  I really appreciate that too Croft:thanks: I am the master of self-mutilation, beat myself up constantly, now w/ this knee I am even worse, Shouldn't have had it done, stupid, it wasn't that bad, now it is HORRIBLE...........yadayadayada....Etc..............

                  I printed that out, it will be very usefull as I am trying to get started here whole-heartedly right now.................just drank 2 beers, so am not AF, will still go to an AA meeting tonight at 8PM, will be washed out of my system by then, will not commit to anything w/ AA, but use what I can to help me stay sober the rest of the night anyway..............

                  Love you guys!!!!:h :l

                  MA
                  :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                    THANKS! You just made me feel better about my plan to create small attainable goals each day for intake/AF and exercise... I was thinking how stupid it sounded when I look at some people with big picture goals.

                    We all have to do what will work best for us, and not beat ourselves up along the way. We've beaten ourselves up enough over the years as it is...
                    Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles (Helen Keller)

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                      Thanx Croft for that.

                      Each and everyone of those points are so valuable.

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                        #12
                        Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                        "supplements the size of hotdogs".......... LMAO

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                          #13
                          Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                          BELIEVE;261299 wrote: "supplements the size of hotdogs".......... LMAO
                          They are just awful. I can barely get them down. I don't know why they can't make them smaller and then you could just take double the number instead of having to swallow a large plastic tube. Hell, I cut my steak into smaller pieces.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                            Croft that was amazing ........ I have to agree with the new addiction thing, i get the shakes if I'm away from here for a while .........:H

                            You better be a keeper here love, no disappearing now ........

                            Love & Hugs, BB xx
                            sigpicXXX

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Stop Beating Yourselves Up

                              Croft - that is a lovely list.....great 'rules'....

                              You really deserve to succeed with thinking like that!

                              Go forth and pat yourself BIG on the back! Huge pat!

                              Thank you for that.....yes, we are one really special group of people....I think of you all, all the time!!!

                              Love
                              FMS xxxx
                              :heart: c: :heart:
                              "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

                              Comment

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