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    #16
    Anger

    greeneyes;266751 wrote: I have a PHD psychologist friend who suggested raw eggs. Write the person's name on it and throw them against a tree.
    smileytoes - You are too funny.

    Anger - if you try this let me know if it worked.

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      #17
      Anger

      Hey everyone,
      anger is my issue as well. Sometimes I don't know whether I was angry and then started to numb with alcohol or started to drink and then became angry because...well I don't really know why. But which one comes first? Is this everlasting question just like what came first egg or chicken? I'm worse then a match. I don't need much to get angry...and it is not like something is bothering me and then finally it irrupts, it is more of an immediate, premature reaction to whatever is going on. I want to learn to be different. But how? My mother is a total psycho - since I can remember she was yelling and shouting and was constantly angry with me. I have no father - mom got divorced when I was only two because my dad was and Alcoholic and was mentally and physically abusing her. I never wanted to be like either one of my parents, but seems I'm both? Help!!! :upset:

      Thanks for the advice Maasai, I will also try the magic words, but does anyone else has some practical advice?

      Thanks for bringing up this issue Pea. Very valuable topic.

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        #18
        Anger

        I use alcohol to numb. So yeah, when I don't drink I too experience things I have been bottleing up. When I feel anger I feel guilty then depressed. It's a vicious cycle. I know I have to face life w/o my crutch, and LET MYSELF FEEL anger.

        It's real scary for me tho, as a child my father flew into rages and beat me for no reason. So when I feel angry I'm scared, not that I will physically hit anybody, I'm not that sort of person, but it brings back all those feelings.


        Yuck!!!! Anyone got a magic wand? I'd like to avoid the whole thing by someone turning those memories off.

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          #19
          Anger

          I, too, grew up in a very violent household. My mother is a psycho - and to this day still is not all there. She use to beat the daylights out of my sister and I. She is a very ANGRY woman.

          My dad - well he was an abusive drunk. A functional, made a lot of money drunk. They divorced when I was 4. We were left with my mother.......... and that is when the beatings began.

          I suppressed everything. I began to drink like a fish when I was about 30. No matter what I did in my life, it was never good enough.

          Do I have anger issues - oh yeah! BUT.... with lots of hard work, you CAN work through them.... you really can.

          Just know we are products of our environment in a lot of ways. The cycle can be broken with lots of love and support from people who really do care about you. I am still learning... and will continue to learn. I would NEVER ever hurt my kids - ever. I want their lives to be happy and healthy, full of trust, self esteem/self worth.

          Keep working on you, if only for today... the more effort you put into yourself, the more you will be rewarded. It can be done.

          Anyway... sorry for the ramble. I tend to do that from time to time.

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            #20
            Anger

            Oh, and sorry... probably TMI about my childhood. Anyway - my point being was we all can change!!!

            More power to us, I say!

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              #21
              Anger

              Wow this thread is an eye opener. Anger sems to be a huge issue - well, with me too. Wonder why that is? I'm going to make a suggestion and that is to direct you to Collin Tipping and his book Radical Forgiveness. Interesting take on our path in life. My life feels like it's sucking out loud (you should see my bed hair today at the office - employee comes in and I almost say oh you got a haircut, then think ummm... no don't talk aobut hair) and I spend way too much time on this site, neglecting work, sipping vodka. But if this suggestion helps one single person with their anger issue then goodie .
              sigpic
              Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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                #22
                Anger

                thanks

                Thanks so much to you all, your replies have been really helpful!! I loved it that you answered so quickly too. Lol about the pmt, it's so like that, and then when its over, you look around at the people youv'e upset, and say, "oh, what's wrong, something I said?" Feel much better today, I like the shedding your skin analogy too. thanks again guys Pea xxx

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                  #23
                  Anger

                  Pea - that's great you're feeling better today!

                  AFM - not TMI (!)....you're doing so great!

                  My kids will definitely be writing that, "My Mum was a psycho..." in the future and I shall be sad.... My Mum IS a psycho - but she was angry because of these b***** hormones and she was also brought up that it was good to dictate, to suppress children - to 'break their spirit', anything it took to bring up 'good' children.... Me? I just shouted out of frustration, fear, loneliness, bewilderment, tiredness..... and only alcohol for a couple of years... (and not at them but their Dad/ex-hubby - hmmm)

                  Thing is....I was noticing yesterday morning before your thread, Pea....I have never gone so long without feeling anger in my life until the last four months or so.....after the initial 'EAFF' - Early AF Fury! - for four months or so, I have felt soooh calm about things....amazing....and good....and now I am stuck again; sober, settled, happy....but frustrated, fearful (less though), lonely, bewildered and tired!! And angry! Well, irritated....!! Just maybe I need this 'anger' (energy) to move me through to another stage? It'll be how I use it - how I 'behave' around it...maybe it's just the New Moon this time....sigh!

                  I am Me - I am OK - but I seem to be invisible at the moment :upset: ....yes, irritated...not angry.

                  Let you know!!!!...................................eeek!

                  Thanks for letting me ramble, too!!

                  Love FMS xx
                  :heart: c: :heart:
                  "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

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                    #24
                    Anger

                    Thanks alot for your replies guys, cant tell you how helpful youv'e been...Pxxx

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                      #25
                      Anger

                      I got in the car, and drove and yelled at the top of my voice, it's great! ( but forgot to have one of the windows up, bit embarrassing) funny now though. Thanks again all of you for being there pea xxxxx

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                        #26
                        Anger

                        What is PMT??????

                        I felt a little angry on Saturday... the cravings half drove me crazy!

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                          #27
                          Anger

                          Same question

                          I have no idea what PMT is. Anyone?

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                            #28
                            Anger

                            Pre menstrual tension.
                            .

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                              #29
                              Anger

                              in the States, we usually call that PMS - pre-menstrual syndrome. funny, all these little linguistic differences!
                              :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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                                #30
                                Anger

                                Pea, you can always get in a closet with a towel stuffed in your mouth and do some primal screaming. Works like a charm.
                                sigpic
                                Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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