Bad Gas and Good Dreams

[livingfree]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Ok - Tawney - I think that is what Croft was describing at the beginning of this thread. Except your face is about to blow. You need the sea salt cleanse big time. Can frogs live in sea water?

I'm going to try the sea salt cleanse tomorrow morning. I'll report - or maybe not ? But in all seriousness - the iron in the All One is a big problem for me. I can eliminate the mag and I still have "issues". ops!: but no poops. I am going to buy the "seniors" formula next time, even though I don't think of myself as AARP just yet. Just can't do the Iron.

Liv

[dexterhead]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Yes Patty, you guessed, after that delightful oaky flavor, cleansing "Charts" in the morning, or I hope so ..

[Cinders]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Thank you. All of you.

I needed a laugh today, BIG TIME. (you have no f*ing idea.)

Hubby laughs at my Campral exudation, too. Love it at the clients!! It makes me appear so professional. :H

So glad to be a part of this serious and dedicated community.

You make me proud. :goodjob:

Love,
Cindi

[IKnowItsTrue]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

I've been taking the supplements for over 2 weeks now and didn't have any gas until last night after I read this thread!!! My kids couldn't stop laughing and my husband just wanted me out of the room! What's with that?? Yeah, let's keep this thread going...God only knows what will happen to us next?? And we'll have Croft to document the whole thing!! Croft, I hope you're keeping copies of all of your posts. I really would like to see a book someday: "Drink Less, Pass Gas & Laugh: The Joys of Cutting Others Up While Cutting Down" by Croft. I'd definitely buy it...but you'd have to sign it for me!

[Croft]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

If I do write a book it is going to be written by Croft. I am still sobering up in hiding. And I am going to quote you ALL! And there will be a big chapter thanking IKnowItsTrue and tawnyfrog and dexterhead and greeneyes and db2formula and Not Happy Hour - Happy Life and etc. Not sure I am going to get anyone to publish a book like that.

[Helensback]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

I shall publish your book and proudly fart while doing it.

I guess you could say that I am a fart professional. Not to blow my own horn. ha ha.

But farting has been a life-long love of mine. My husband, bless his heart, has become resigned to the gasiessness of my person.

However, he does seem somewhat perturbed that the art of the fart has passed down to our lovely 9-year-old daughter. But I could just burst with pride - and other things...that she coming close to professional status at her tender age. Amazing.

When pressed, I have a hard time deciding just what fart is my favourite. But I do love the "Blatter". Or, yes, the toot with each step is fun too. Farts in the shower are great, but a tad sufficating.

Oh, I could go on. But I shall save some for another post.

Yours in gas,
Helen

[lukalee]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

My favorite is the machine gun fart.

[greeneyes]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

I like to break in a new man with a fart. Not just any old fart but a really good one. One was in a restaurant sitting on a wooden bench (resonance is wonderful). I think people in the parking lot ducked for cover. If it had been an Italian restaurant everyone would have been under their tables.:H And another one.... spooning in bed, man says it almost blew his balls off. And he married me!:H

[Suki411]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

I never laughed so much and so loud like I am right now. I'm sure my muscles in my back, sides and stomach are going to be screaming in pain tomorrow. The cats just ran out of the room.

Helen, you must be so proud of your daughter! What a star at her age, just think of the talents she will develop as she ages!

Farting also runs in my family. On my sister's honeymoon, she and new hubby just get into bed when she let go a "SBD" (silent, but deadly). He turned to her and said....."you must be dead inside" and left the room until it aired out. I guess he got used to it, they have been married 20 years!

[greeneyes]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Ah yes.... honey, sometime during the night something crawled up into your butthole and died. Let's go ahead and schedule that colonoscopy.

[Suki411]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Green.......LMAO!!!

[dexterhead]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Yes, in my EXTREMELY repressed family, growing up, we had to call them "gassers." I swear to God!

Now, my two sisters, who both have kids (I don't), take wildly divurgent attitudes to the Art of the Fart.

My one sister, the psychology professor, has trained her sons to say "stinky noise." I swear! She is very into being "very educated" and once chastized me for saying "cop" instead of "police officer," because "cop" was just a tad low-class. And my God, if I ever say I have to pee??? Horrors ... it's like I just unleased a vicious tirade of f-bombs. It's supposed to be "tinkle." Even their dog was trained on the correct euphemisms. He knew "tinkle" and "number two" and would go on command!

My other sister and her whole family are Out and Proud Farters. My niece ripped a huge one during one of her university exams. She's proud. My sister likes to sit at family dinners on holidays, will slyly lift up one butt cheek and let go a cheeky, cute little fart, smiling slyly. My mom and other sister are so horrified that it is hilarious!!!

My two older brothers, both of whom used to hold my sisters down and fart on their faces, but probably calling it "gassers" (as the baby, I was way younger), are also pretty reserved about farting.

As a kid, we had a dog who became increasingly stinky and noxiously gassy. In his prime, he (unneutered) would proudly enter the living room whenever my mom had a bunch of ladies over, settle on the floor and begin licking his privates in a most gratutitous fashion.

I should write a psychology treatise about the role of farts in families.

This has been so cathartic. Thank you.

[Croft]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

I am just amazed at the number of posts that this topic has generated. Even poor Johnny Depp has been forgotten.

[Croft]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

Anyone know how to play fart tennis? Of course you cannot play it with people who can fart on command.

[Guest]

Bad Gas and Good Dreams

This thread is hysterical. I am laughing out loud at the computer. You guys are so funny.