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    #1

    Not Addicted, but Not Denied

    A few nights ago I logged into the chat room. It was late so maybe that explains the below chat exchange that left me feeling pretty discouraged.

    You have joined room: Lobby
    Welcome!
    LouieLoveHandles: Hellow Croft
    SpencerFencer: Hi Corft
    Croft: Hi there.
    Croft: What is going on?
    LouieLoveHandles: Not much
    SpencerFencer: How are you?
    Croft: Pretty Good, just got home.
    SpencerFencer: How long you been a member?
    Croft: A few weeks.
    LouieLoveHandles: Good for you. Welcome to MWO.
    LouieLoveHandles: I just finished up 90 days AF.
    SpencerFencer: And I just finished up 63 and working on 90
    SpencerFencer: How many AF days do you have Croft?
    Croft: well, let?s see, there was Monday and Tuesday and umm, today was is Thursday, hmmm, 2.
    LouieLoveHandles: Way to go Croft. That is great. I am sure you can get back on track and go the full 30 next time. We are routing for you.
    Croft: Well, actually I am not planning to go a full 30 AF
    SpencerFencer: Why not
    Croft: Well, that is not my goal
    SpencerFencer: Why not
    Croft: because I am planning to moderate, like RJ did in her book. Did you read the book?
    LouieLoveHandles: You have to go AF, you will feel great. Just after 30 days you feel so good. I just felt great after 30 days and after 90 you feel amazing, it is just wonderful.
    Croft: I am feeling pretty good right now.
    LouieLoveHandles: Yeah, but this is different. It is just amazing. I feel so good.
    SpencerFencer: I feel good too. Better than I have ever felt in my life. I can?t wait to get to 90.
    Croft: That is great. I am relly happy for you. That takes a lot of commitment. Congrats!!!
    LouieLoveHandles: it is the only way I can go. I have to go AF. Or I canot stop.
    Croft: I hear that some people are like that
    LouieLoveHandles: all AL people are like that
    Croft: I am not sure about that
    LouieLoveHandles: it is true. I went to AA for 3 years.
    Croft: did you read RJ?s book
    LouieLoveHandles: you can go AF too croft. Are you taking the supplements?
    Croft: yes
    LouieLoveHandles: good, then you can do it. Are you taking any of the medication?
    Croft: yes, the topo and it is really working out great for me.
    Croft: it helps me to be allowed to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner Like on a Friday night. I like to be able to have that luxury in life.
    Croft: If I can?t have that then it is almost worse for me. I almost want it more cause I can?t have it.
    Croft: besides I want to enjoy some of the benefits of being alive.
    SpencerFencer: you really can?t do that croft. You will just fall off the wagon again. You really should just drink water. You are going to just not be able to stop and drink the whole bottle
    LouieLoveHandles: and that will be bad cause I have a sister who has a friend who died cause they were taking topo and drank wine.
    Croft: oh my, how much wine did they drink.
    LouieLoveHandles: 3 bottles
    Croft: are you sure it was because they mixed wine and topo and not because they drown?
    LouieLoveHandles: oh no it was because she mixed the wine and topo. So you cannot drink and take the topo. It is very bad
    Croft: didn?t RJ drink wine while taking the topo in the book. Of course she did not that much
    LouieLoveHandles: I did not read the book.
    Croft: so no wine with dinner, you say.
    SpencerFencer: you really should?nt. You really should go AF. At least for 30 days.
    LouieLoveHandles: besides you are going to feel so good after you do that.
    Croft: and no beer on the back deck on a hot summer afternoon after a long moutanin bike ride ? not even one?
    LouieLoveHandles: you really should not croft. You have an issue. You have to be AF now.
    Croft: I have an issue forever
    LouieLoveHandle: yes you will always fight this. Read the posts. Everyone is always fighting this and you will too. You really have to go AF in order to be free of this demon.
    Croft: and never again a glass of wine with dinner?
    LouieLoveHandles: never again. You can do it! We are routing for you.

    I clicked on the little x in the upper right hand corner of the screen and slumped off to bed. I had no desire to lay in the ?ham hock? that I would not mind laying in. I lay in bed thinking of life without a glass of wine every once in a while with dinner. Life without a beer, every once in a while in the backyard after a long mountain bike ride. I don?t want to be addicted, but I don?t want to be denied either. Will I always have to ride that escalator with no hope of ever being able to LIVE with the people who don?t have to ride the very pleasant escalator?
    Tags: None
    #2
    Not Addicted, but Not Denied

    Dearest Croft,

    I too hope there is some place in the middle for us. I can never imagine not having a glass of wine with my hubby now and then when out to dinner or even a beer if I choose on bowling night. I just want to get rid of the need to drink at home, alone.

    We can do it, we can find the magic!
    Bambi
    "When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable." -- Walt Disney

    Comment

      #3
      Not Addicted, but Not Denied

      I think so too!!

      Comment

        #4
        Not Addicted, but Not Denied

        Croft, were the names really LouieLoveHandles and SpencerFencer? Do I need to throw the bull$hit ball at you? Is this really for real? What time zone: the Twilight zone???? My friend, you are way too kind. Here is what I would have said...

        LouieLoveHandles: Way to go Croft. That is great. I am sure you can get back on track and go the full 30 next time. We are routing for you.
        Croft: Well, actually I am not planning to go a full 30 AF
        NHHHL: On track? Do you work for the railroad? If the train falls off the track, do you get your money back?

        SpencerFencer: Why not
        Croft: Well, that is not my goal
        NHHHL: Because I only have 28 days to live.

        SpencerFencer: Why not
        Croft: because I am planning to moderate, like RJ did in her book. Did you read the book?
        NHHHL: I'm suffering from overexposure to preaching clods. They tried to convert me to sobrietism, and they kept biting off more than they could chew. There's nothing left to me. I type with my eyelashes... blink... blink...

        LouieLoveHandles: You have to go AF, you will feel great. Just after 30 days you feel so good. I just felt great after 30 days and after 90 you feel amazing, it is just wonderful.
        Croft: I am feeling pretty good right now.
        NHHHL: That's what my first husband used to say, before he died. He killed himself by drinking and driving his golf cart. At the 19th hole.

        LouieLoveHandles: Yeah, but this is different. It is just amazing. I feel so good.
        SpencerFencer: I feel good too. Better than I have ever felt in my life. I can?t wait to get to 90.
        Croft: That is great. I am relly happy for you. That takes a lot of commitment. Congrats!!!
        NHHHL: Before I die, I plan on starring in a porn flick. Have you guys ever been in one? You should try it. Do one movie, and it's good. Make 30 movies and it feels great. 90 movies are amazing. Just wonderful. But sometimes I get little red bumps that itch...but then I using RUBBING ALCOHOL. Get it???

        LouieLoveHandles: it is the only way I can go. I have to go AF. Or I canot stop.
        Croft: I hear that some people are like that
        NHHHL: I used to be narrow minded, too.

        LouieLoveHandles: all AL people are like that
        NHHHL: No, only the close minded, opinionated, ones. Are you guys on the right website? Weren't you looking for mywayorthehighway.org?

        As my great, great grandma used to say, "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!"

        Patty
        Tampa, FL

        Comment

          #5
          Not Addicted, but Not Denied

          wow.. yes i do know what you mean. i would love to have a glass of wine . ones and awhile and if you can do it more power to you. you have your own ways. i can look at your post and read. you are doing everything to handle it and you are. so keep it up
          :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
          best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

          Comment

            #6
            Not Addicted, but Not Denied

            the words are exactly like they were typed. I copied and pasted. But I did change the names. hopefully the people that wrote the words will not recognize them. They were not people I recognized as posting. It was very late at night. If they do, well it won't be the first people my posts have made angry. I am keeping a collection of private messages from angry MWOers who did not like my posts. I received 5 PMs from the farting post alone. I am trying to think of something clever to do with them. Stay tuned.

            Comment

              #7
              Not Addicted, but Not Denied

              Croft - was this a real conversation?? Oh my GOSH!

              They were so wrong to tell you, you cannot have a glass of wine or a beer once in a while... I am beside myself on how they were imposing their personal goals/beliefs on you.

              There are TONS of people here who moderate successfully.

              Comment

                #8
                Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                Patty - your posts always ensure that I don't have to do situps!!! my tummy gets a thorough workout from laughing!!!!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                  Well, ain't that transcript something? I'm with you Croft--thus my post earlier today. I am hoping to moderate by following RJ's book, plan, and her nutritional/holistic expertise. That's why I'm here. It amazes me how many people don't seem to be following her well researched outline for beating the alcohol abuse. ABUSE being the key word. If you think you can have a glass or two of wine or a beer or two every so often, that should be fine. If you don't think you can, that should be fine, too. Hang in there, I can see why you were so despondent after being "jumped" in the chat room.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                    I'm going sober but I certainly wouldn't try to preach to someone to do likewise if they didn't want to, it's the same with religion and vegetarianism- don't try to convert me to your way of life. I respect your choice but don't impose it on me!
                    'The only people who give you a hard time (for stopping drinking) are those who used to look to your drinking to excess to legitimise theirs, and they'll find someone else to do that in time. '
                    From an Amazon review of Allan Carr's ' Easy Way to Control Alcohol'

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                      You know, Croft, that conversation really makes me mad!!! And this is coming from someone who probably DOES need to go totally AF, because i cannot seem to moderate.

                      HOWEVER, there are MANY people on here who are reporting great long-term success moderating. Crap, this whole PROGRAM came out of a moderation point of view.

                      I hope you find your way, what ever it is...but I feel like these 2 were trying to brainwash you!

                      With love,

                      Beth
                      formerly known as bak310

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                        Croft, I have been at this site since almost it's inception and NO ONE has ever spoken to me that way! I am sorry they did and I can bet my last dollar that they were not senior members. I am glad you came back and did not write off this site. There are many supportive members here. AF is not everyone's goal. It is not mine either. I am a moderator. Again, I think it is horrible that they were pushing their goals on you.
                        Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                          Croft: 5 people PM'd you about the fart post? OHMY GOD. these boards aren't exactly the forum for having tea with the queen of England. They are about some pretty messy aspects of life, bodily functions included, and if we can't laugh about it, then why don't we all go off and quietly wither away. Oh for the love of God ... To those who PM'd her, I hate to use the old cliche, but GET A LIFE and, I fart in your general direction (no doubt, those 5 PMers would not get that reference anyway )
                          :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                            Right back atcha' Crofty.... I wonder if RJ can add a little emoticon dude,
                            of a smiley face eating cheetos (orange lipstick and fingertips) with a glass of white zin in the other hand, casually eating and sipping??? :yougo: AREN'T we talking about LIFE here???? Life is a journey, not a Death March!!!

                            I love to laugh. Call me Dick Van Dyke, or Bert. Giggle. Laugh so hard that my eyes tear up. :upset: Laugh for so long that I can't remember what was so funny. :whee: If I haven't laughed to the point of non-existence, then I need to find a reason why. Every single day.
                            Here is the song that will be sung at my funeral, in addition to "Fergalicious"...


                            I love to laugh
                            Loud and long and clear
                            I love to laugh
                            It's getting worse ev'ry year
                            The more I laugh
                            The more I fill with glee
                            And the more the glee
                            The more I'm a merrier me
                            It's embarrassing!
                            The more I'm a merrier me!
                            Some people laugh through their noses
                            Sounding something like this "Mmm..."
                            Some people laugh through their teeth goodness sake
                            Hissing and fizzing like snakes
                            Some laugh too fast
                            Some only blast - ha!
                            Others, they twitter like birds
                            Then there's the kind
                            What can't make up their mind
                            When things strike me as funny
                            I can't hide it inside
                            And squeak - as the squeakelers do
                            I've got to let go with a ho-ho-ho...
                            And a ha-ha-ha...too!
                            We love to laugh
                            Loud and long and clear
                            We love to laugh
                            So ev'rybody can hear
                            The more you laugh
                            The more you fill with glee
                            And the more the glee
                            The more we're a merrier we!

                            Patty
                            Tampa, FL

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Not Addicted, but Not Denied

                              patty , you are making me snort from your posts, and I am at work. Hovercat, love your avatar:H :H
                              :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

                              Comment

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