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Valentines Day humpf what for.....

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    #1

    Valentines Day humpf what for.....

    well I DID make it 2 days AF but planned a surpirse spaghetti and meatball dinner homemade ialian garlic bread and all and kiddo was happy, he loves m,y cooking. I bought one bottle of red wine to go with figured romance red wine, hubby...well I bought his gift yesterday and he bought me nothing until after I bought his it seems. MEN should never buy lingerie btw unless they are 100% sure what size. I was on the phone when he ame home, anywho he comes in bag in hand and bog card. As I peek in bag while on phone w best friend I see BIG cup size corset I was like huh pulled it out and laughed told g/f hubby must wish I has boobs like these hahah anywho corset does not fit and unless my boobs suddenly suersize in teh next 5 minutes will never fit so he goes did you see what I got? I said yesh whos boobs is it for jokingly I have humor he goes oh it won't fit, what sieze do you wear. Now I stopped in thought why buy smething for your wife if you have no idea of size, but then said honestly well this is my size he goes oh that was all they had...GR8 I said I love it, it is very pretty but I will never be able to fit it and ever since then no words he did not even eat the dinner with me and kiddo we ate alone. Shoudl I have lied or tired it on??? He also asked what I bought to drink again honest said red wine for our v'day dinner his food is sitting at the table wine and water glass and all while he watches tv...I feel like such and asa nd such a schmuk. I am mad at myself for getting the wine thinking romantic eve and feel bad for saying the gift he got will not work for me since both have made him shut me out this eve. Sorry needed to share...again back to day one.....
    S&T32
    ~Life is not measured by the breaths we take. Rather by the moments in life that take our breath away~ Author Unknown
    Tags: None
    #2
    Valentines Day humpf what for.....

    Ahhhh.... don't worry about it too much. I don't even know why they have a Valentines Day anyway. More times than not there are hurt feelings and disappointment.

    His feelings were probably hurt.... men are sensitive that way - when they buy a gift and the woman either jokes about it, or doesn't jump all over him for it.

    Enjoy the rest of your evening. At least your kiddo loved your meal!

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      #3
      Valentines Day humpf what for.....

      well now I am drowning in tears....it has only gotten worse as I knew it it would. I just spent the last 25 minutes being yelled at like a child about my drinking I hate this and I hate me I am so so so sick and tired I cannot take this. He thinks you are all worthless to me, that I am lame for being here. I hide nothing I am open about here about my drinking I need help and he does not offer me any so what am I supposed to do. My heart hurts and my mind hurts why the hell did I buy the stupid wine wtf is wrong with me.....going to go drown in what is left of my wine I NEED HELP.....

      S&T32
      ~Life is not measured by the breaths we take. Rather by the moments in life that take our breath away~ Author Unknown

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        #4
        Valentines Day humpf what for.....

        I understand your dilemma,
        My husband yells and says some awfull digs but has no problem drinking with me if its to his benefit (which he drinks just as much as I do!!!) Mine is out of town at a bar in the cold snow with all of his new friends. I dont think that's ok either. I feel like we are falling apart, both of us in midlife and kids about to launch. This sucks:upset:
        Anxious

        When the heart cries for what it has lost the spirit sings for what it has found!

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          #5
          Valentines Day humpf what for.....

          anxious;272661 wrote: I understand your dilemma,
          My husband yells and says some awfull digs but has no problem drinking with me if its to his benefit (which he drinks just as much as I do!!!) Mine is out of town at a bar in the cold snow with all of his new friends. I dont think that's ok either. I feel like we are falling apart, both of us in midlife and kids about to launch. This sucks:upset:
          Oh Anxious No I DO feel you and arggggg is all I can express...it hurts, it sucks and it is very very very hard to look that person in the eye and say anything nice... mine is the same yells about my drinking yet has no prb going out after work with the guys ro saying we should go out with so and so it kills me what are we to do..I am here for you!!!!

          S&T32
          ~Life is not measured by the breaths we take. Rather by the moments in life that take our breath away~ Author Unknown

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            #6
            Valentines Day humpf what for.....

            Sick and tired 32 - you are me 7 years ago. As I start to read, it was my husbands lack of response to me and his lack of support for all I did do that I started to just entertain myself. So I started with one or two glasses a night. I was happy. I pretended I wasn't alone. (OMG, I can't believe I just admited that!!!) Then 2 became 3 and 3 became 4 and a4 became floor!!! OOPS He can yell all he wants - I know easy for me to say. Think about this, why is he yelling - he screwed up - he waited till the last minute to go out and buy you 'what was left' oh, gee thanks and that is to make you feel better how? and then he's surpised you use the crutch that you and we all use? Where's your support. My marraige councelor told my husband to mind his own side of the street because he was far from perfect and even though she said that a year and a half ago, believe me I still have to remind him. My point is, yes, we have issues, so does he, tell him to back off until his house is clean, and that means supporting you rather than beating you while you are down. What kind of a man is that! Sorry, I have a low tolorance for people, man or women that abuse peopel in any capacity when they are at their low - and we ALL have our lows and NOT just once. So Sicandtired32. Stay strong, stay here, this is only my 3rd day, and maybe you and I can do this together.

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              #7
              Valentines Day humpf what for.....

              Do you guys go on Live chat?

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                #8
                Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                Anxious - This June I will have been married 20 years, together 22 years and the 'falling apart / midlife crisses" part of your statement sounded familiar. I'm curious how long you are married, and how long maybe you have been drinking, if it is comparative to mine which is about 7 years.

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                  #9
                  Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                  sickandtired32;272653 wrote: well now I am drowning in tears....it has only gotten worse as I knew it it would. I just spent the last 25 minutes being yelled at like a child about my drinking I hate this and I hate me I am so so so sick and tired I cannot take this. He thinks you are all worthless to me, that I am lame for being here. I hide nothing I am open about here about my drinking I need help and he does not offer me any so what am I supposed to do. My heart hurts and my mind hurts why the hell did I buy the stupid wine wtf is wrong with me.....going to go drown in what is left of my wine I NEED HELP.....

                  S&T32

                  Is this over ONE                   bottle of wine? I wonder if he is using the drinking as a cover for other things that are bothering him. He would be more likely to do this if he knows you are particularly sensitive to the drinking criticism. Some people purposely select your weak points and pick at them to gain dominance and control over you to make themselves feel more powerful and worthy.

                  Anyway, Hapy VD :h ! It was just mediocre over here as well......my husband is also a handful :upset:
                  Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
                  - George Jackson

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                    #10
                    Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                    Dear S and T
                    VD stupid day, and husbands can be tiring people. Tonight was first time mine aknowledged I hide my drinking from him. Now I feel rotten...how much does he know? Can't ask, cos would be admission if he doesn't really know how much. Actually, in my case, it is me who is tiring person, I bore me!
                    BTW you are right, men should not buy lingerie, in history of time, doubt any of them ever got it right!
                    Please don't hate self, you are so not worthless, anyone who can post so honestly and accurately is very worthy of respect.
                    Good luck with next day 1
                    Pipsqueak
                    Pipsqueak

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                      Hey S&T,

                      I'm ultra new here but my hubby has been snoring away since 9:30. Woo hoo...

                      Just feel your Valentine's Day pain..so sorry your'e having a crappy day.
                      Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey

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                        #12
                        Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                        THE day of love has become too much stress............for men to find the perfect gift and for the women who wait for it.
                        We all fall into that trap.......expect nothing...and you won't be disappointed.
                        It is not about material things.....what happends the other 364 days of the year?
                        "Be still and know that I am God"

                        Psalm 46:10

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                          #13
                          Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                          Hi S&T,
                          Came across your post I know he his your hubby and I really have no buisness commenting BUT I MUST he is a bloody asshole and thats comming from a male who has seen this bullying trick used time and time again. WE are men and we are bullys.Not all of us and bloody not me I hate it . I dont know why? it shits me but its no excuse . You should not blame youre self what you did was so sweet and wonderfull make a beautiful dinner by a bottle of wine look forward to a romantic evening why did you deserve to be yelled at? its not right!!!!! . He stuffed up and like the school yard bully to protect his fragile ego attacked you for his own failings. Please you did nothing wrong he should hang his head in shame. Sorry I get a bit worked up about this because I think men have been bullying women for ages and it has to stop at some stage. you are a beautiful person dont let a bully make you feel bad

                          Love danny

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                            #14
                            Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                            Him attacking you makes him feel better about himself. Don't let him get away with that! My husband use to make comments when I drank to much and I use to think it was warranted. If he has 2 vodkas once a week, thats a lot. So I would let him tell me all this stuff. Don't let him do that! Especially since he suffers from the same. I decided when he would get verbally abusive and through tamtrums, I'd leave...........if it was dinner time, I'd take myself to my favorite restaurant ( and I'd make sure it was expensive! ) and have a wonderful meal on my own, a good book and a cute waiter. And if he yell again I'd go to my friends house for the evening................hell, let them fend for themselves! I makes them think and you're having a wonderful time!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Valentines Day humpf what for.....

                              sorry I should not have called your husband a asshole i meant to call him a prick. please accept my apology. sick put him in the dog box for a coule of nights.

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